


Don't Marry Her

by Cillabrown



Category: Holby City
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-08-13
Packaged: 2020-06-09 15:39:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 45
Words: 43,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19478935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cillabrown/pseuds/Cillabrown
Summary: Bernie and Serena have been together for 22 years. but years of constant arguing causes them to split.  When Serena gets involved with someone else. Bernie realises she can't let her go.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Berena](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Berena/gifts).



The last of Bernie’s things were packed in the back of the car. Bernie looked at the house that had been hers and Serena's home since they were 21 years old. Now she was 41 and leaving the family home for good. Bernie and Serena had been having problems for the past few years. All they seemed to do was argue. As soon as they were together one of them do something to piss the other one off. So they decided the best thing to do for there 3 children was split up. Bernie said she would move because she didn't want Serena to have to find somewhere else to live with the 3 kids. Kate who was 16. Alfie who was 13 and Emily who was just 6.  
"Right that's it then."  
"Mom do you have to go." Kate said as she gave Bernie a hug."  
"I have to, but I will come and see you all the time."  
"This is shit mom." Alfie said as he stood there with his arms folded.  
"Watch your mouth son."  
"Sorry mom.  
"Momma can't you just tell Mummy that your sorry." Emily cried as she ran over to Bernie.  
"I don't think Mummy would listen to me anyway."  
"Don't you love mummy anymore."  
"Of course I do, I will always love your mummy. But we are better off apart than together."  
"I love you." Emily whispered in Bernie’s ear.  
"I love you too."  
"Who's going to finish reading my book to me."  
"Am sure Mummy will read it to you."  
"Mummy is always to busy."  
"Well grandma will read it to you."  
"She's not as good as you and she always skips parts. And she smells funny."  
"That's the yew drew sweetheart. Anyway I better go."  
"Mum, Mom's leaving." Kate shouted to Serena who was in the kitchen. She didn't want to get in the way of Bernie saying goodbye to the kids.  
"Have you got everything."  
"I think so if there's anything I have forgotten then I will get it next Friday when I pick the kids up."  
"That's fine."  
"Right I better go I will see you 3 on Friday OK."  
"OK." Bernie gave all kids another hug and walked to the door.  
"Mummy please stop her tell her to stay." Emily said as she yanked on Serena's arm.  
"It's for the best darling."  
"Bye Serena."  
"Bye."  
"Well I hope you satisfied mum." Kate said as she ran up the stairs after Bernie walked out of the door.  
"You have broken are family up." Alfie said as he followed Kate upstairs.  
"Well.are you going to shout at me as well." Serena said as she bent down to Emily.  
"No."Emily said as fell into Serena's arms and cried. Serena held Emily tight and felt the tears streaming down her face. 

"KATE. ALFIE COME ON BREAKFASTS READY." Serena shouted from the bottom of the stairs.  
"Mummy can I have some more apple juice please."  
"Of course you can."  
"Hi Kate."  
"Morning bugger lugs." Kate said as she grabbed her toast and walked out of the kitchen.  
"Where you going, sit down and eat your breakfast properly at the table"  
"Am going to school."  
"Kate how much longer are you going to keep ignoring me."  
"Till you see sense and let mom come home where she belongs."  
"Kate it's not as simple as that."  
"Yes it is you know she would come back like a shot if you asked her. But your not going to are you."  
"No am sorry."  
"Thought not. See you later Emily."  
"Bye.  
"Kate please."  
"I don't want to talk to you mum." Kate said as she walked open the door. "Kate wait for me” Alfie said as he grabbed his bag.  
“Hold on a minute you haven’t had anything to eat.”  
“Like you care about us.”  
“Of course i care about you. I love you all three of you.”  
“If you loved us you wouldn’t have made Mom leave.”  
“Am sorry alright how many times do I have to say it.”  
“Till you do the right thing. Come on Alfie let’s go.”

“I didn’t expect to see you today.” Ric said as Serena walked onto the ward.  
“What else was I supposed to do sit at home and ponder the mess I have made of my entire life.”  
“That bad.”  
“That bad. The kids won’t even look at me nether mind speak to me. “There is only Emily that is talking to me.”  
“Am sure they will come around eventually.”  
“I don’t think they will. I thought Bernie leaving would be for the best. We haven’t really been getting on since we had Emily but i just thought it was my hormones playing up. Everything that used to make laugh about her just seemed to get on my nerves. I didn’t want to have the kids being brought up in a house where there parents are constantly at each other's throats. I was brought up in a house like that and it’s not nice.”  
“Well then it’s sounds like you have done the right thing.”  
“I know I have. I just wish the kids would see it that way.”


	2. Faith

8 months later

“Come here you 3 there is someone i would like you to meet.” Serena said as she led the kids into the lounge.   
“Who are you.” Kate said with a disgusted look on her face.  
“This is Faith. Faith these are my kids. This one here is my eldest Kate.”  
“Hi Kate.” but Kate didn't answer and just nodded back at her.  
“This handsome young man is Alfie.”  
“Hi Alfie.”  
“Hello.”  
“And this is my baby Emily.”  
Hello Emily.”  
“Hi.”  
“Guys Faith is my girlfriend i wanted you all to meet her.” Serena said as she put her arm around Faith’s waist.  
I have heard so much about you all.”  
“Well we can’t say the same about you.” Kate said as she just stared at Faith.  
“Kate stop being rude.”  
“How long have you known each other.” Alfie piped up.  
“5 months.”  
“5 months didn’t take you long to get over mum did it.”  
“Kate you need to stop this. Me and your mom are never ever going to get back together and the sooner you realise that the better.”  
“Can we go now.”  
"No we are all going to go for a nice meal out.”  
“Am not bothered thanks. Am going to Matt’s.”  
“Kate you come back here this minute.”  
“Or what mum you're gonna ground me.”  
“Kate do you know how you keep telling me how your nearly 18 and an adult.”  
“Yes.”  
“Then start acting like one. Emily has acted more grown up then you the last couple of months then you.”  
“Yes well you would think that wouldn't you. We all know she is your favorite.”  
“”What you talking about favorite. I don’t have favorites i love you all the same.”  
“Course you do mum. Am going to see you later.”  
“Kate i want you back in this house for 11.”  
“Yeah, whatever.”

“Why don’t you two go upstairs and get changed and then we can for something to eat.”  
“Ok mum.”  
“Oh am so sorry i should have known she would kick off.” Serena sighed as she sat on the sofa with her head in her hands.  
“It’s alright come here.” Faith said as she kneeled down in front of Serena. “There are bound to be a bit upset.”  
“They all hate me. Sometimes I think it would have been best if i’d moved out and they stayed here with Bernie.”  
“Am sure they don’t hate you.”  
“Am not so sure. These past 8 months have been hell.Kate can hardly look at me never mind speak to me, and when she does its to say something nasty. I've just had enough.” Serena cried.  
“You have got me now i will take care of you.”  
“Will you.”  
“Yeah I will.” Faith said as she kissed Serena. 

Kate crept into the house quietly so not to wake everyone up especially Serena. She took her shoes off and coat and was just about to put one foot on the stairs when she the light went on.  
“What time do you call this lady. Serena said as she stood at the door.  
“11.00.”  
“Don't get smart with me Kate you know full well what the time is.”  
“Then why ask me.” She slurred.  
“Be in for 11.00pm I said not 2.40am."  
" I lost track of time. "  
"Are you drunk.”  
“I might be a tad tipsy so what.”  
“So what you are 17 years old your not old enough to drink.”  
“Stop pretending you give a shit about me mum.”  
“Do you know something Kate i have had just about enough of you. How much longer are you going to continue like this.” Serena said as Kare shrugged her shoulders. “Do you speak to your mom like this.”  
“No.”  
“I thought not because she wouldn't stand for it would she. Do you really hate me so much. "  
"I just want mom back here she belongs with us and with you."   
"That's never going to happen Kate. Do you want to go live with your mom is that it.”  
“No.”  
"Then what is it, why do you hate me so much."   
"I don't hate you mum."   
"Then why do you look at me with such contempt. I am sorry me and mom aren't together anymore. I didn't think we would ever split either. But we can't carry on like this. If you don't want to be here anymore then I suggest you go live with your mom. Because l  
I have had enough of your tantrums Kate. I will ring your mom tomorrow and tell her you are going to live with her."  
"No I don't want to live with mom."   
"Then you need to change your attitude lady because I am not putting up with it anymore. Now go to bed you have got college on a few hours." Kate took a few steps forward and turned around to look at Serena before she ran into her arms.   
"Am sorry mum."  
"You have to stop blaming me for everything darling."  
"I know and I will. I love you so much mum."   
"I love you too sweetheart. Now come on bed."  
"Ok."


	3. Mummy's getting married

1 year later

"So who's going to tell her."   
Kate said as they sat in Bernie’s house while she was in the kitchen.   
"Don't look at me. Alfie said.   
"I'm not telling her."   
"Not telling me what." Bernie said as she came into the lounge with there tea. "Come on spit it out what's up."   
"Mummy getting married." Emily said.   
"Is this true."   
"Yes mum told us last night."   
"Right and you lot are OK with this are you."   
"We have to be don't we." Alfie said.  
"No you don't if you are not happy then you have to tell your mum."  
"But she is happy with Faith."Kate said as Emily sat beside her big sister.   
"I don't like her like Faith." Emily said.  
"Why don't you like her sweetheart."   
"I don't like the way she talks to mummy when she thinks no one else is around."   
"Shut up Emily."   
"Alfie don't speak to her like that. Come here darling."Emily went and sat at the side of Bernie and out her arms around her." Tell me what she says to mummy. "  
"I heard her other day saying that mummy was stupid and that it was no wonder that you left her."  
"Is that what she said."   
"Yes she made mummy cry I saw it all but they didn't see me."   
"Right Kate are you OK to look after these two I need to have a word with your mum."   
"Your not going to kick off are you." Kate said worriedly.   
"No I just want to talk to her. You lot finish your teas I won't be long." Bernie said as she grabbed her car keys and ran out the door.   
"You just know she is going to kick off." Alfie said.   
"I know she is." 

"Bernie what are you doing here." Serena said as she came to the door.   
"I think we need to talk don't you."   
"Where are the kids."   
"Kate is watching them."  
"I take it they have told about me and Faith."   
"Yes they have. I would have thought that maybe you would have done the decent thing and told me first."  
"How could I have told you, we hardly speak anymore. Except to hi when you pick the kids up and bye when you bring them back."   
"We were married for God sake you should have told me."   
"Were married Bernie we are nothing to each other anymore."   
"Have you asked the kids how they feel about this. And if they are happy about it."   
"They haven't said there not happy."   
"Well they have to me."   
"What have they said."   
"Well for starters Emily doesn't like Faith."   
"Emily gets on with Faith just fine."   
"She said she doesn't like the way they Faith talks to you when she thinks no one can hear. What does she say to you Serena."   
"I don't know what she means. Serena said nervously as she fiddled with her chain.   
"Why are you so nervous Serena."   
"Am not nervous."   
"You are fiddling with your chain you always do that when your nervous. Don't forget I know you better than anyone."   
"Look me and Faith are happy and we are getting married end off."   
"Even if it makes the kids unhappy."   
"Kate is going to university in September so she won't be here anyway."   
"But Alfie and Emily will be. Serena. You don't have to go through with this wedding if you don't want to."   
"You would love that wouldn't you. Look I love Faith and she loves me and we are getting married."   
"Do you love her as much as you used to love me." Bernie said as she walked closer to Serena.   
"Don't do this Bernie."   
"I want to know do you."   
"Why do you want to know me and you are over."   
"Just tell me."   
"I will never love anyone as much as loved you." Serena said as she looked at the floor. Bernie put her finger underneath Serena's chin and lifted it up so they were looking at each other.   
"Then why are you marrying her."   
"I think you should go now. You've said your piece."   
"I still love you Serena."  
"No don't even go there Bernie."   
"It's true I have never stopped loving you and I never will."  
"Don't." Serena cried.   
"I need to know if you still love me."   
"Why are you doing this. Why wait until I am with someone else and I'm getting married."  
"It's made me realise how much I do still love you." Bernie said softly as she stroked Serena's face.   
"Bernie please don't."   
"Tell me." Serena looked into Bernie’s eyes and lent forward slowly. Serena gently put her lips to Bernie. The kiss was soft at first but soon turn eager. Serena moaned into the kiss as she put her hands up Bernie’s shirt. What are you doing. You have to stop this right now Serena thought.   
"Bernie we have to stop." she said as she pushed Bernie away."  
"Why."  
"We shouldn't be doing this."   
"We belong together you know we do."   
"No we don't we stopped being together nearly two years ago."  
"I love you and I know you love me."  
"I think you should leave now."   
"Am not giving up on you."   
"Your wasting your time. I am with Faith and I am marrying her."  
"Over my dead body you are." Bernie said as she walked out the door. What the hell have done you stupid cow Serana thought to herself as she flopped down on the sofa. 

"Hi god what a day." Faith said as she sat on the sofa with Serena. "Earth to Serena."   
"Sorry I was miles away."   
"I can tell. What's wrong."   
"Nothing really. What do you fancy for tea." Serena said as she started to get up.   
"You." Faith said as she threw Serena back on the sofa and started kissing her. Faith started to unzip Serena's trousers and pull then down but Serena stopped her.   
"What do you think you are doing." Faith said angrily.   
"Am not in the mood."   
"Well get in the mood. Faith said as she went to put her hand in Serena's trousers.   
"I SAID NO." Serena shouted.   
"Fine be like that then. I'm off for a shower you better get the dinner on."   
What am I doing I don't think I can go through with this Serena thought as she broke down in tears.


	4. Can you meet me

"Mom what you doing." Kate said as they pulled up outside Serena's house.   
"I am coming in the house with you."   
"But you never come in the house with us."   
"Well I am today."   
"What really happened when you came round to see mum Friday."   
"I told you nothing we just had a chat ."  
"Fine don't tell us then." Kate said as they went inside the house.   
"Were back mum." Alfie called out to Serena.   
"You lot had a good time."   
"Yeah. See you friday mum."   
"See you later." The kids all gave Bernie a hug and went upstairs.   
"What's up with them. Emily didn't even give me a hug when she came in. She always gives me a hug."   
"She has hardly said two words since I got back from yours on Friday."  
"You didn't tell them what happened between us did you." Serena whispered so no one heard.   
"Of course not. There just not happy with your choice of life partner."  
"Your loving this aren't you."  
"Every minute because you are going to have to make a choice sooner or later."   
"What choice."   
"The kids or Faith. They hate her Serena. Have a good week see you Friday." Bernie laughed as she walked out the door. 

"Mum I off to the pictures with Matt."  
"OK, Oh Kate."  
"Yes."   
"It doesn't matter don't be in too late."  
"I won't see you later."   
"Bye." Serena sighed as she walked upstairs. She could hear Alfie arguing with someone he was playing a game with on the xbox. She smiled and went into Emily's Bedroom.   
"Hi sweetheart." Emily looked up from her iPad and looked back down again. "What you watching." she said as she sat on the bed.   
"Nothing." Emily said as she put the iPad down.   
"You didn't give me a hug when you came back from mom's. You always give me a hug."   
"I'm getting too big for hugs."   
"Is that right. Since when."   
"When you stopped loving me."   
"Emily what are talking about. What makes you think I don't love you."   
"You never spend anytime with me anymore. We used to spend loads of time together but then when she came on the scene its like you don't want me around. Or any of us for that matter."   
"Emily that's not true and you know it it's. I love you and your brother sister more than anything. I always have an I always will."  
"Then get rid of Faith."   
"Emily what has faith ever done to you."   
"She hasn't don't anything to me but I don't like the way she talks to you."   
"I don't know what you are talking about darling."  
"I heard her mum she called you stupid."   
"She will probably have just been joking."   
"I saw the look on her face and she wasn't joking mum."   
"I really don't know what you mean."   
"Just leave me alone mum. You're not listening to a word I say anyway." Emily said as she laid down and looked away from Serena.   
"If that's what you want."   
"It is. Mom would never speak to you like that." Emily said as Serena walked out the door tears.  
"No she wouldn't." Serena said quietly and she lent her head on the doorframe. 

Serena  
Hi are you working today

Bernie  
Yes

Serena   
What time do you finish

Bernie   
I started at 6 this morning so I finish at 2.

Serena  
Can I meet you somewhere I need to talk to you

Bernie   
Yes sure

Serena   
Where's best for you

Bernie   
Meet me at Wyvern Park if you want. We could go to the cafe there and get some lunch

Serena  
OK see you there then

Bernie  
I will meet you at the pavilion at about 2.15 is that ok

Serena   
I'll be there

"Ah just the man. Serena said as Ric walked in the office.   
"What do you want."   
"You couldn't cover for me this afternoon can you. I will cover your shift tomorrow if you want me to."   
"It's fine of course I can."  
"Thank you."   
"What's so important anyway."   
"Crisis talks with my ex wife."   
"What crisis is that."   
"Kid crisis and the face that they hate Faith and me by the looks of things."   
"Am sure they don't hate you."   
"Emily" Serena said as she choked back the years. "Emily thinks I don't love her can you believe that. My baby girl thinks I don't love her."   
"Why does she think that."   
"I don't know. That's what I want to talk to Bernie about."   
"What time you meeting her."   
"2.15."  
"Get yourself off now I can manage things here."   
"Are you sure."   
"Yes go on go and sort out what's wrong with your kids."  
"Thank you your a star." Serena smiled as she kissed Ric on the top of his head and ran out the door.   
"SERENA."   
"What."   
"Just make sure you do the right think and sort and it out."  
"Oh i intended to."   
Meanwhile Bernie was stood in front of her full length mirror in her bedroom. She had gotten out of work early to get ready to see Serena. She wanted to look her best. She put a shirt on that she knew Serena used to love on her in. "That will do. Operation getting the love of my life back starts here.


	5. I hate you

"Hi have you been waiting long" Serena said to Bernie as she arrived at the pavilion.   
"No about 10 minutes that's all."   
"Good I couldn't find a parking space."  
"You look nice."   
"So do you. I love that shirt on you. I'm surprised you still have it."   
"That's why I do still have it." Bernie smiled.   
"Shall we walk then."   
"Yeap lead on."   
"I tried talking to Emily last night."   
"How did that go."   
"Badly."   
"What happened."   
"She said she doesn't think I love her or Alfie and Kate anymore."   
"What she actually said that."   
"Yeap. I don't know why she thinks that."  
"Did she say anything else."   
"You were right she hates Faith."  
"So what are going to do."  
"This is really hard for me Bernie. I love my kids. But I love Faith too."   
"Really."   
"Why is it so hard for you to believe that I love Faith."   
"Don't get me wrong I think you care about her but I don't think you love her not really."   
"You haven't got a clue how I feel."   
"Tell me then."   
"I don't have to explain myself to you. We are divorced."   
"Then why did you want to meet up then."   
"To talk about our children."   
"Not about what happened between us on Friday night."   
"What happened on Friday can't happened again I told you that."   
"Even if you want it to."   
"I don't want it to."   
"I think you do." Bernie said as she got closer to Serena.  
"Don't come any further." Serena said as she could feel her heart pounding in her chest.   
"Why not."   
"Because."   
"Because what."   
"Because I won't be able to stop myself if you do."   
"Is this too close."  
"Bernie."   
"What about this." Bernie said as she was so close you wouldn't have got a sheet of paper between them.   
"Stop please." Serena said as she struggled to catch her breath.   
"You are so gorgeous." Bernie put Serena's face in her hands and started peppering Serena's face with little tiny kisses. Serena put her arms around Bernie’s waist so there were pushed together.   
"Kiss me properly." Serena said breathlessly. Bernie brought their lips together hungryly. The kiss became more and more passionate. Bernie began kissing Serena's neck and began to suck on her pulse point.   
"Bernie don't do that."   
"Why not."   
"Because I can't go home with a love bite can I. Faith will go made."   
"Who cares about Faith."   
"I do she will hit the roof."   
"Could let her she might get the message then and go."   
"I don't want her to go."   
"Are you serious. We have kissed twice now in four days surely that tells you something."   
"Yes it does. We need to go back to how we were before. Just saying and hi and bye."  
"You don't mean that."   
"Yes I do. I better go."   
"No Serena please don't go. I want to be with you can't you see that."   
"We can't do this." Serena cried as she walked away. 

"SERENA I LOVE YOU." Bernie shouted. Serena stopped dead turned around and then ran into Bernie’s arms. "I love you so much."   
"I love you I have never stopped loving you." Serena cried as she kissed Bernie again. "What do we do now."   
"I know what I want to do." Bernie smirked.   
"We can't besides, I have to go I have to pick Emily up from school."  
"When can I see you."   
"Friday when you pick the kids up."   
"I didn't mean that. I meant when can I see you alone."   
"I am busy all week. I will text you."   
"Promise."   
"I promise." Serena said as she pecked Bernie on the lips and walked back to her car. 

"Serena can you come inside with me. I need a word about Emily." The teacher said as she approached Serena at the school gates.   
"What's wrong is she alright."   
"Just come with me please."   
"Alright." Serena said as she followed the teacher into the school. Serena saw Emily sat at a table on her own when she walked into the classroom.   
"Emily are you ok. What's going on."   
"Emily has been very disruptive in class today and she treated to a girl this afternoon."  
"Emily is this true." Emily just nodded and put her head down. This isn't like you. What is wrong with you.You won't talk to me. Mom says you have hardly spoke to her all weekend either. And know this. What is going on in your head Emily."  
"I DON'T WANT YOU TO MARRY FAITH I HATE HER."   
Emily shouted as she stood up and threw a chair across the room.   
"EMILY." that's enough. We will sort this out at home.   
"I think Emily is best off having the rest of the week off the calm down."  
"You're excluding her."   
"Just for a few days. She obviously needs to sort herself out."   
"Fine Emily come on let's go home." Serena grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the room. "I don't know what the hell you think you are playing at lady but it stops now understand. Get in the car."   
They drove home in silence apart from the sound of Emily crying in the back.   
"Where have you been?" Alfie said as they got out of the car.   
"Sorry love I had to have a word with Emily's teacher."  
"Why."  
"Because she has been a little bleeder that's why."  
"What have you done Emily."   
"IT'S NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU ALFIE." Emily shouted.   
"Enough Emily go to your room."   
"With pleasure. I HATE YOU MUM." 

"Where is everyone it's quiet here." Faith said as she got home from work.   
"Kate is staying at her Laura's. Alfie has gone to play football and Emily is sulking upstairs."  
"What's up with her."   
"I had to have a word with the teacher today. She has nearly hit a girl and then when I got there she threw a chair across the room."   
"I hope you have her a slap.   
" No I didn't give her a slap. I have never hit my children and neither has Bernie."  
"That's why they are little brats."   
"My children are not brats."   
"Well they never do as they're told."   
"My children are still adjusting to all this with me and Bernie."  
"They have had two years to get over you and Bernie splitting up. They need to grow up and deal with it."   
"Get out."  
"What."  
"I said get out. I don't want you here. In fact I don't think I want anything to do with you at all."   
"Serena we are getting married I love you."   
"I DON'T WANT YOU. I DON'T LOVE YOU. GET OUT." Serena shouted as she threw her engagement ring at Faith.   
"Your going to regret this Serena."  
"I don't think I will. Now just go." You can come and get your things tomorrow."  
"You can't get rid of me that easily Serena. I will make your life hell." Faith said as she walked out and slammed the door.


	6. Come home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains violence

"Emily can I come in." Serena said as she knocked on her door.  
"No."  
"Please."  
"I don't want to talk to you."  
"I have kicked Faith out. I told her I don't want anything else to do with her. Emily."  
"You have really kicked her out." Emily said as she slowly opened the door.  
"I have." Serena bent down so she was face to face with Emily.  
"You can do so much better than her mum."  
"Is that right."  
"Yes."  
"And did you have someone else in mind." Serena smiled.  
"Yes."  
"And who might that be."  
"Mom."  
"Emily listen to me. Me and your mom we split up for a reason."  
"But she still loves you I know she does."  
"Emily am sorry but me and mom will never get back together. It's much better that we stay apart."  
"Better for who." Emily said as she slammed the door shut.  
"Mum am back."  
"Hi Alfie did you have a good game of football." Serena said as she walked down the stairs.  
"Yes I scored 2 goals we won."  
"Well done you." Serena smiled as she gave Alfie a hug.  
"Thanks mum."  
"Go get a shower and I will warm up your tea."  
"OK, I won't be long. Mum." Alfie said as he lent over the banister.  
"Yes love."  
"I love you."  
"I love you too. Go on go and get in the shower"  
"OK." 

Faith  
I'm sorry about earlier. I shouldn't have spoken like that about the kids. I love them so much Serena xx

Serena  
Then why say it x

Faith  
I don't know. Let me come home. I love you and I want you to be my wife xx

Serena  
You said you would make my life hell x

Faith  
Take no notice of what I said. I was just angry. I would never hurt Serena. Please let me come home xx

Serena  
Promise you won't get mad again x

Faith  
I won't I promise. I want to be with and the kids. I love you all so much. You and the kids are my future Serena xx

Serena  
I love you. Come back. "

Faith  
I will be there in ten xx

"What are you knocking for."  
Serena said as she opened the door to Faith.  
"I didn't take my key with me. God you look so beautiful."  
"I am in my pajamas."  
"My favorite pajamas. Come here." Faith smiled as she grabbed Serena by the waist and pulled her in for a kiss. "I love you."  
"I love you" Serena said almost nervously.  
"Are the kids in bed."  
"Yeah."  
"I think that's where we should go." Faith smirked.  
"We could do I am rather tired."  
"I wasn't talking about going to bed to sleep."  
"Were you not."  
"No."  
"Then whatever did you have in mind."  
"Come with me and I will show you." Faith smiled as she pulled a laughing Serena upstairs and into the bedroom. 

"Good Morning." Faith said as she walked into the kitchen the next morning and wrapped her arms around Serena from behind.  
"Morning."  
"What you making."  
"I thought I would make Emily her favourite scrambled eggs on toast for breakfast. I don't know if she will eat it or not."  
"Look am not working today so why don't we take Emily out for the day just is three. Then Emily can see I'm not a bad person."  
"Ok I will just go and take this up and ask her."  
OK."  
"Emily."  
"Go away."  
"I have brought you some breakfast your favourite."  
"Am not hungry."  
"I will leave it out here for you alright. Emily, Faith thought it would be nice if me, you and her went somewhere for the day today."  
"Tell her I don't want to go anywhere with her. I hate her and I hate you. I am going to live with mom."  
"We will talk about this later OK."  
"Go away."  
"I love you so much baby." Serena said as she choked back her cries. 

Faith looked at Serena's phone as it pinged on the table. 

Bernie  
I won't give up on you Serena I can't xxx

"I have left her breakfast outside her room."  
"What do you call this Serena." Faith said angry as she showed her the message.  
"What are doing with my phone." Faith chucked the phone across the kitchen and smashed the phone.  
"Now it's no one's phone now."  
"Faith stop."  
"Why the hell is your ex wife telling you that she won't give up on you."  
"I don't know."  
"Don't lie to me Serena."  
"Am not lying honesty."  
"You going to tell me the truth right now or else." Faith said as she pushed Serena up against the wall and held her down.  
"Faith stop your hurting me." Serena cried.  
"Hurt you I will kill you if you don't tell me the truth."  
Emily stood at the top of the stairs and heard everything. She ran into her bedroom and got her phone.  
"Hello Emily."  
"Mom you need to come quickly faith is hurting Mummy."  
"What"  
"I have just heard mummy saying that Faith is hurting her and Faith said she was going to Kill mummy. Please mom come quickly."  
"I am getting in my car now. Emily unlock the front door and don't let Faith see you ok."  
"OK hurry mom." 


	7. Don't touch her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Contains violence

"Do she want you back is that it."   
"No I don't know. Faith let go please your really hurting me."   
"When are you going to realise that you and your brats live by my rules now. The sooner I get that brat Emily packed off to boarding school the better."   
"Boarding school."   
"You didn't think I was going to put up with her tantrums all day every day did you."   
"She is my baby and she isn't going anywhere."  
"She isn't a baby Serena she is 8 years old.   
"She is still my baby."  
"I swear to God if you don't shut up."   
"What are you going to do if I don't eh."  
"Don't push me Serena or."   
"Or what Faith what you going to do."  
"That's it you are going to get it"   
"No leave my Mummy alone." Emily said as she ran into the kitchen and pushed Faith away.   
"Emily go back upstairs please." Serena cried  
"No mummy I'm not leaving you."  
"Do as you mum says Emily unless you want the same."   
"You lay one hand on my daughter and I swear it will be the last thing you ever do." Bernie said as she came into the kitchen.   
"Ah here she is perfect Bernie Wolfe to the rescue." Bernie grabbed Serena and Emily and held them close.   
"Bernie." Serena whispered.   
"It's OK am here."  
"I knew it, there is something going on between you two isn't there."   
"There is nothing going on between us Faith." Serena stuttered nervously.   
"Do you think I'm stupid."   
"Well now you ask." Bernie said.   
"Shut it."  
"Faith please stop this. There is nothing going on between me and Bernie."   
"I don't believe you. I saw the way you looked at her Serena when she came in."   
"I think you should go. Nobody wants you here." Bernie said as she walked closer to Faith.   
"Bernie no."   
"Don't worry Serena Bernie here hasn't got the bottle to hurt me." Faith said she picked up a knife of the side and held it close to Bernie.   
"Don't hurt my momma please."   
"Shut up Emily. I am sick and tired of you mom. She needs to realise that your mummy is with me and she is staying with me."  
"Faith don't hurt Bernie please. Put the knife down."   
"Give me one good reason why I don't kill her now."  
"NO." Emily shouted.   
"Faith stop it."   
"Am waiting Serena give one good reason why I shouldn't just kill her now."   
"BECAUSE I LOVE HER." 

"I knew it. I knew something was going on between you two."  
"Please Faith just let her go."  
"Do you want to be with her Serena."   
"Yes I'm sorry."  
"I thought you loved me."   
"I can't love anyone else while I still love Bernie."   
"Then why did you agree to marry me."   
"Because I thought it was what I wanted. But it isn't and my kids are not happy. And I have to do what's best for my kids."   
"I knew it was a mistake getting involved with someone who had kids. Why don't they just go and live with Bernie then me and you can be together."   
"No I want my kids with me. I don't want to be with you. Please just go it's over."  
"You heard her just go." Bernie said as she swung around and knocked the knife out of Faith's hand and picked it up herself. Now get out and if you ever come near Serena or my kids again I will kill you."  
"Your welcome to each other. You're gonna regret this Serena." Faith said as she got close up to Serena.   
"Get away from her." Bernie screamed.   
"Don't worry am going. You haven't heard the last from me." Faith said as she walked out the door.   
"Come here you two it's alright she's gone now." Bernie said as wrapped her arms around Serena and Emily.   
"Are you alright." Serena said as she kissed Emily on the cheek.   
"Yes mummy."   
"I'm so sorry I put you through all that. I love you so much."   
"I love you too Mummy." Emily cried.   
"Thank you so much Bernie."   
"I will always be here for you and our children." Bernie said as she continued to hug Serena and Emily tightly. 

"Hi mum and home." Alfie said as she walked into the lounge and saw Emily and Serena cuddling on the sofa.   
"Hi darling. How was school."   
"Good thanks am starving is there anything to eat mum."   
"Dinner will be a while yet dude." Bernie said as she walked into the lounge. "Mom what you doing here. It's not Friday yet."   
"Your mom came round because I had trouble with Faith."  
"What sort of trouble."   
"She was hurting mummy Alfie." Emily said.   
"Is this true she has hurt you."   
"She hit me yes."   
"Have you called the police."   
"It doesn't matter, she has gone now and hopefully she won't be back."   
"So your not getting married."   
"No Alfie am not. From now on it's just us."   
"And momma."   
"Alfie why don't you go and get change and I will make you a sandwich to put you while tea. Serena said as she stood up and went through to the kitchen.   
"Cool I won't be long."   
"Momma."   
"Yes darling." Bernie said as she sat on the sofa with Emily.   
"Are you and mummy back together now."   
"I don't know sweetheart."   
"You still love mummy though don't you."  
"I love your mummy so much darling."   
"She loves you too she said so didn't she."   
"She did yes."   
"Then why don't you just get back together then we can all be a family again.  
"It's not as easy as that. I mean I would have your mum back like a shot. But I'm not sure if your mummy wants me back." Serena lent against the door listening to every word that had been said with tears treating down her face.   
"Bernie could you give me a hand in the kitchen please I think something is burning."   
"Yes sure. I don't smell. Anything burning."   
"That's because it's not. Serena said as she walked closer to Bernie and put her arms around her waist and pulled her close. I just heard you and Emily talking in there."   
"Earwigging were you."   
"Yes. Your wrong you know."   
"About what."   
"I do want you back. I always have I was just too stubborn to admit it. I shouldn't have kicked out and divorced you. It's the biggest mistake I have ever made, well apart from getting with Faith that is."  
"Are you saying what I think your say."   
"I want us to try again. I love you and the kids more than anything in this world. I just want us to be a happy family again. I am never letting you go again."   
"Thank god." Bernie said as she kissed Serena like she had never kissed her before. I love you so much. I am never going to leave you. I am going to look after you and the kids from now on. No one is ever going to hurt you again I promise."  
"Let's take this one day at a time eh."  
"Let's do the whole courting thing again you mean."   
"Why not it could be fun. I mean we have two whole years to catch up on."  
"Sounds good to me on one condition."   
"What's that."   
"You out your wedding ring back on so everyone knows you are taken."   
"How do you know I still have my wedding ring."   
"Because Kate told me."   
"Is my sandwich ready mum."  
"Yes love here you are. Me and mom are just popping upstairs I need to show her something. "  
"OK." 

"Come with me." Serena held Bernie’s hand as they went upstairs and into the bedroom. "Sit down a sec." Serena rummaged in her bedside table draw and pulled the ring out of her draw. "Here you are." She said as she gave Berbie the ring box.   
"Put it on then."  
"I want you to put it on me" Serena smiled.   
"OK. Serena Wendy Campbell I love you more than anything  
Will you be my wife again."   
"You bet your life I will. I love you Bernie Wolfe." Serena said as she kissed Bernie and pushed her back on the bed.


	8. Let's try again

Bernie’s hand wandered up Serena's skirt and found her goal. Bernie began stroking her clit and spreading the wetness that was there.   
"Please Bernie I need you to make love to me . I have wanted you for so long." Serena moaned.   
"I want you too. What about the kids."   
"The kids are fine just fuck me." Serena said as she grabbed Bernie’s hand and put it back between her legs.   
They continued kissing while Bernie began to use 2 fingers inside Serena.   
"Mmm that feels so good." Serena moaned as her breathing became heavy.   
"Wait I can hear footsteps." Serena said. "Who's that."   
"Mummy Alfie said something on the stove is boiling over."   
Oh shit." Bernie said as she flew off the bed. Serena laid back down on the and signed. 

"It's boiling over mom I have took it off the ring."   
"Thanks Alfie I totally forgotten about it."   
"What time will it be ready."   
"About 6.30."  
"Am going to go play football on the field across the road for a bit I will come back at 6.15 is that alright mom."   
"Yeah go on."   
"Thanks."   
"Where you going."Serena said as she walked down the stairs.   
"Just going to play football across the road I will be back for tea."   
"OK be careful."   
"Mum are you alright now."   
"Am fine sweetheart have fun."   
"See you later."   
"Bye."   
"What was boiling over."   
"The sauce I'm sorry but it's has knackered your pan."  
"It's alright just sling it in the bin."   
"I could have sworn I only put it on a low heat."   
"It's OK stop worrying."  
"Am sorry about rushing out the room like that."   
"It's alright I finished myself off." Serena smirked.   
"No you didn't."   
"Didn't i."   
"Have you really."   
"No have I heck. I'm waiting for you to finish the job."   
"Come here."Bernie said as she pulled Serena close and put her hand back up Serena's skirt.   
"Emily is just in the front room."   
"You'll just have to be quiet then won't you."   
"I can't be quiet when you do that to me oh that feels."   
"How does that feel." Bernie said as she found a gently rhythm.   
"Amazing but harder please." Serena said as her voice became louder  
"Shush Emily."  
"Bernie I need to come am sorry."   
"Don't be sorry just come darling." Serena rested her head on Bernie's shoulder to cover her face and her screams as she came.   
"Are you alright."   
"I'd forgotten how good you were."   
"You felt amazing just like you always did. I love you Serena."   
"I love you too." Serena said as she kissed Bernie again. "Right why don't you go jump in the shower while I finished this off. Then I will get in."   
"OK. 

"What you looking at." Bernie said as she came into the lounge and wrapped her around Serena from behind and out her head on her shoulder.   
"Just watching Alfie making sure he's still on the park."   
"He wouldn't wander off without telling you where he was going he is a sensible kid."   
"Ano he is. I am just making sure she isn't anywhere near him."   
"She wouldn't dare come near either of you 4 again if she knows what's good for her."   
"I wonder though what if she comes back."   
"She won't."   
"You heard what she said about me regretting it. I don't care about her hurting me but I don't want her to hurt one of our kids."   
"Why could always move away."  
"What."  
"We could move somewhere she will never find us."   
"It's a nice idea but I will not let her drive me out of my home. I love it here our jobs are here. It wouldn't be fair on the kids to move them away from their friends."   
"It was just an idea. I will give him a shout and tell dinner is ready." 

"This is lovely mom thanks." Alfie said as they all tuck into a beef dinner.   
"Your welcome love."   
"Mummy are you and momma back together now."   
"We are taking things one day at a time we aren't rushing into things Emily."   
"So you are back together."   
"Yes darling we are."   
"Really mum."   
"Yes Alfie."  
"This is the best news ever." Emily said as she hugged Serena and Bernie tightly.   
"Too right it is Alfie said no more frightening Faith."   
"Did Faith frighten you love."   
"No but she frightened you mum I saw her we all saw her."  
"I can't wait till Kate hears the news."   
"She has got to pull herself from Matt first. I don't know why she just doesn't move in with him." Serena said. "Pass me my phone Alfie that will be your sister telling me she staying out yet again." Serena said as Alfie passed it to her.   
"Serena what's wrong is it Kate."   
"No its Faith."   
"What does she have to say."  
"Look but don't read it out." 

Faith  
I am coming for you and your family. You are going to wish you had never met me.


	9. My little boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People might find chapter upsetting

Serena came downstairs the next morning and watched Bernie as she slept on the couch. Emily ran downstairs and into the front room and to the sofa.  
"Momma." she shouted as she jumped on Bernie and woke her up. "Your still here."  
"Of course am still here I told you am not going anywhere."  
"Good." Emily said as she gave Bernie a hug.  
"Morning." Serena said as she sat down beside Bernie.  
"Morning gorgeous."  
"Thanks for staying last night."  
"There is nowhere else I would rather be."  
"You know you didn't have to sleep on the sofa last night."  
"I know but I needed to stay down here just in case Faith turned up."  
"Am scared of what she will Bernie."  
"She won't hurt you or the kids because she isn't going to get anywhere near you."  
"You can't be with us all the time. The kid still have to go to school."  
"Well can't not until Monday anyway. We will just have to tell Kate and Alfie to be extra diligent."  
"Yeah I better get them up."  
"OK, I love you."  
"I love you." 

"Hi mum." Kate said as she came home from college. "Hi darling where's your brother."  
"He is dawdling along with his mates so I left him."  
"You left him I told you to walk home together."  
"I only left him at the top of street calm down."  
"Am going to go and see if I can see him. What the hell was that. Serena said as they heard a loud bang. Serena ran out of the door and heard kids screaming.  
"Serena come quickly it's Alfie." One of the boys shouted. Serena ran down the steps and into the road.  
"ALFIE NO." She screamed as she kneeled down beside him. Bernie ring an ambulance quickly. Alfie its mum can you hear me. "Serena sobbed." Alfie open your eyes baby and look at me please. Who did this Paul."  
"I don't know if they just hit him and drove off."  
"The ambulance is on its way Serena." Bernie said as she kneeled down beside Serena. "Alfie it's mom. Where is the bloody driver."  
"They drove off they hit my boy and drive away. Serena cried. Alfie open your eyes sweetheart please."  
"Serena he is bleeding from his head." Bernie said as she took her shirt off and held it to try and stop the blood. 

"The ambulance is here now thank god."  
"Hi what's his name."  
"Alfie."  
"How old is he."  
"15 now stop asking questions and just help him please." Serena cried as she held Alfies hand.  
"Come on Serena let's leave them to do their jobs."  
"We are doctors we can help."  
"It's probably best you don't." the ambulance man said.  
"Serena come away."  
"I want to be where I can see him."  
"MUMMY." Emily shouted from the door where she stood with Kate.  
"Stay there with Kate baby." Bernie said.  
"I want mummy." Emily said as she ran down the steps and straight into Serena's waiting arms. "What are they doing to Alfie."  
"There helping him sweetheart."  
"Are they going to make him better like you and Momma make people better."  
"I hope so." Serena sobbed as she held Emily close.  
"Who's coming with him."  
"I'm coming with him." Serena said.  
"I will follow in the car alright  
"Yes Emily you go with Momma now I'm going with Alfie in the ambulance alright."  
"I want to stay with you."  
"Listen to me. You can't come with me in the ambulance because they won't have enough room to help Alfie, and they need space to treat him so he can come back home with us alright."  
"OK love you mummy."  
"I love you too darling. You go with momma now."  
"I'll see you at the hospital OK."  
"Yes" Serena said as she kissed Bernie and got into the back of the ambulance. 

"Serena what's happening." Bernie said as her and the kids arrived at the hospital.  
"I don't know, I was just told to wait here." Serena said as she paced the room. I want to see him I need to see what they are doing to him." Serena said as she opened the door.  
"Serena you can't you know what."  
"I want to see my son. I want my little boy." She sobbed as she clung onto Bernie.  
"Am sorry mum it's all my fault."  
"It's not.  
"It is I should have stayed with him and this would never have happened am really sorry mum you must hate me."  
"Hey come here." Serena said as she hugged Kate tightly. "It's not your fault and I could never hate you. I love you sweetheart."  
"I love you too mum."  
"Ric what's happening is he alright. No No please don't look at me like that."  
"Am so so sorry but Alfie has suffered an extradural hemorrhage. Scans indicate serious brain damage and a serious prognosis."  
"NO NO NO NO NO" Serena scream into Bernie’s neck. "No not our little boy." Bernie cried.  
"I want to see him."  
"Of course he is on ITU. I will take you."  
"Come on Serena."  
I want to see him on my own. You stop with these two. They need you I don't."


	10. Goodbye my baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some may find this chapter upsetting

Serena stood at the window and looked at her son laying the bed with tubes attached to him breathing for him. She remembered when he was little and she used to watch him sleep all the time.  
"Serena do you want to go in."  
"Yes I do."  
"Come on" Ric said as she took Serena's hand and led her into the room.  
"Alfie oh god. Alfie come on you can wake up now it's time to go home."  
"Serena you know Alfie won't be waking up don't you."Serena nodded.  
"I know. Can you go get Bernie I want her here."  
"Of course."  
"Alfie please don't leave me I need you. I always wanted a little boy. Me and mom was so happy when we found out we were having you"  
"We sure were." Bernie said as she walked in the room and put her arms around Serena.  
"There is no corneal reflex. No respiratory effort despite a co2 of 7. No ocular vestibular reflex no gag reflex. There's nothing." Serena said.  
"Can we have some time by ourselves with or son please." Bernie said.  
"Of course." Ric said as she left the room. 

"Are these his scans." Bernie said.  
"Yes. Bernie can you do anything, please your a neurosurgeon please do something to help our son."  
"Look at the scans Serena's there is nothing."  
"So that's it we just let our son die do we."  
"Serena you know if there was something that could be done I would be fighting tooth and nail to get Alfie the treatment. But he's gone Serena." Bernie sobbed as they both held onto each other.  
"I want him back he belongs with us." Serena cried as he let go of Bernie and sat on the bed with her head on Alfie's chest. "I love you so much Alfie. I can't do this I can't say goodbye." Serena said as she ran out of the room. 

"Mum what's happening." Kate said as Serena went into the relatives room. Serena pulled Kate and Emily in for a hug and held them both tightly.  
"Serena Ric want us to go back in." Bernie said.  
"Mom what's going on. Why won't anyone tells us."  
"They need to know. Tell em Bernie I can't do it." she cried.  
"Mom just tell us please."  
"Alfie, Alfie has gone there is nothing they can do for him."  
"He's he's dead."  
"Yes it's just the machines that are breathing for him now."  
"I want to see him."  
"I don't think that's a good idea love."  
"Mom I need to see him I need to say goodbye please."  
"Let her see him if she wants to Bernie."  
"Come on I will come with you. Are you coming back in."  
"What about Emily."  
"I want to see Alfie too."  
"Let's say goodbye as a family." 

They all walked into the room holding hands. Emily gripped Serena's tightly.  
"Alfie am sorry if I wouldn't have left you none of this would have happened." Kate cried.  
"Stop it's sweetheart this is not your fault." Serena said as she hugged Kate. "No one is blaming you. It's was an accident."  
"Alfie you can have Bear Campbell he will look after you." Emily said as she put the Teddy bear under Alfie's arm then ran to Serena.  
"I love you so much Alfie we will never forget you. Goodnight sunshine." Bernie cried. Serena laid on the bed at the side or Alfie.  
"I want him in my arms."  
"You can Ric said as he came into the room. Serena lifted Alfie's up gently and held him in her arms.  
"I love you so much my darling boy. I will never ever forget you. You and your sisters are the best thing that ever happened to me. You will always be in my heart."  
"Are you ready." Ric said.  
"I'll never be ready."  
"It's time Serena."  
"I know." Serena held Alfie tightly and whispered words of love into his ears. "Noooooo he's gone my baby has gone." 


	11. Nothing will ever be the same again

"Serena we have to go they need to take Alfie. Bernie said as she went up to Serena who was still holding Alfie close.  
"I can't, I can't leave him. He will be all on his own. Bernie can you remember when he was little and we put him in his own bedroom. He wouldn't go to sleep unless I was laid in bed with him."  
"I remember."  
"He would always say night mum I love you." Serena sobbed. "I want you back Alfie. Nothings going to be the same without you." she said as she held him tight.  
"Come on Serena we have to go."  
"NO” she shouted “ Am not going anywhere not without my boy."  
"We have to go home."  
"Home it's not a home anymore though is it. Because there will always be something missing, someone missing. You go and take the kids home. Can I stay a bit longer with him Ric."  
"Just a little while longer."  
"Then I'm not going anywhere not until I have to."  
"OK, how will you get home."  
"I will bring her home Bernie." Ric said.  
"Thanks. See you later.  
"OK."  
"Bye mum."  
"Bye sweetheart."  
"See you when you come home mum."  
"OK, see you later."  
"I love you." Bernie said as she went to kiss Serena but she turned away.  
"Yeah, whatever." Bernie took the kids and walked out.  
"Serena I know your upset but you and Bernie are going to need each other now more than ever."  
"I just need my boy back. He is getting cold now." Serena said as she pulled the blankets up higher over Alfie's body. 

"Serena it's time to go now."  
Ric said.  
"Just a bit longer please."  
"Am sorry but we really need to take him."  
"I love you. I will be with you soon baby." Serena said as she stood up and gave Alfie a kiss.  
"Come on, let's get you home Serena."  
As they walked out the room Serana turned around and took one last look at her son.  
"Right let's get you home."  
"I don't want to go home. Let's go to albies."  
"Are you sure that's a good idea."  
"I think it’s a very good idea. Come on your paying." 

"There you go." Ric said as she placed a large Shiraz in front of Serena.  
"Thanks just what I needed."  
"Are you sure you shouldn't just go straight home.  
"What is there to go home for."  
"To be with your family Serena they need you."  
"What family we will never be a proper family again now."  
"You’ll still be a family. You still have two more kids to be there for."  
"I'm not going to be use to anyone anymore."  
“That’s not true and you know it.”  
“You know when we found out we were having a boy i was so happy. I had always wanted a little boy. When i was carrying Kate I always hoped that she would be a boy. Don’t get me wrong when she was born we were so happy and i wouldn’t be without her. That’s why when I found out I was pregnant again i was determined i was finding out the sex. What am gonna do without him Ric.”  
“You just take each day as it comes. Some days will be better than others. Some days you might not even want to get out of bed. Grief affects everyone differently.”  
“How did you cope when you lost your son.”  
“I don’t think you really do cope. You just learn to hide it. There won’t be a day that goes by that you won't think about him and cry. Then one day you will think about him and the tears won’t come.”  
“I keep thinking this a nightmare and i am going to wake up any minute. And go into his bedroom and wake him up for school. Then he will have breakfast kiss me on the cheek and tell me he loves me like always did” Serena sobbed “but it's not going to happen is it.”  
"No."  
“You know the girls they used to torment him and call him a mummys boy. But he didn’t care he just used to say i know i am and come and give hug me. Do you think he knew how much we love him.”  
“Of course he did.”  
“I keep thinking about his best friend Paul they have been best friends since the first day at nursery. We always said they were joined at the hip. Paul used to come with us on holidays and Alfie used to go with him and his family. Nothings ever gonna be the same again.”  
“Hometime for you Campbell come on no arguments”  
“Ok."

"Where have you been till now." Bernie said as she opened the door. Serena didn't answer her she just walked straight past Bernie and went in the lounge.  
"Am sorry but she wanted to go for a drink."  
"How many has she had."  
"Just a couple. How are bearing up."  
"I have to be strong for everyone else don't I."  
"No you don't if you ever want to talk you know where I am."  
"Thanks."  
"I mean it Bernie don't you bottle things up."  
“I won’t. Thanks for bringing her home.”  
“Look after each other you know where i am if you need me for anything day or night. You two are my best friends you know that dont you.”  
“Thank you Ric.”

“What are we going to do now." Serena said as Bernie walked into the lounge.  
"We get through this together."  
"I feel like a part of me is missing do you."  
"Yep but we can't push one another other away."  
"Nothing will ever be the same. I don't think I will ever be happy again." Serena said as she stood up.  
"Where you going."  
"To bed you don't have to follow me up. Serena said as she walked out the lounge and went up the stairs. She stopped when she got the Alfie's bedroom door. She pushed it opened slowly and sat carefully on the bed. Looking at the football posters on the wall. She picked a picture up from his bedside cabinet of just her and Alfie. He had his arms wrapped around her from behind kissing her cheek. It was from Serena's last birthday. They both looked so happy.  
"Where are you."She whispered as her fingers traced his face in the picture. Serena laid on the bed. She could smell him on the pillows. Slowly Serena eyes began to shut as she fell asleep.  
Bernie came to bed a while later and noticed that Serena wasn't in bed. She saw Alfie's bedroom door ajar and looked inside. Serena was fast asleep on the bed hugging a picture. Bernie could still years down Serena's face. She must have cried herself to sleep. Bernie thought as she got a blanket out of the cupboard and wrapped Serena up.  
"I love you." She whispered as she kissed Serena gently on the head. 


	12. I have to go

"Hi darling are you ok." Bernie said as Kate came into the living room.  
"I haven't slept much. I have just seen mum asleep on Alfie's bed.  
"Yeah she has been there all night. I can hear movement upstairs it might your mum. I will just pop up and see her."  
"Mummy wake up." Emily said as she walked into Alfie's room and nudged Serena.  
"Mmm hello sweetheart." she said groggily.  
"Can I lay with you."  
"Course you can come here and give me a big hug."  
"Are you alright mummy."  
"I'll have to be won't I."  
"Can Alfie see us."  
"I hope so sweetie I hope so."  
"Emily come on leave mummy in peace." Bernie said as she came to the bedroom door.  
"She's alright leave her."  
"Do you want a drink bringing up."  
"Please."  
"Mom the police are here."  
"OK. I suppose we better go and see what's happening."  
"I'll be down in a minute. Emily go down with momma I won't be long."  
"OK."

"Hello."Berbie said to the policeman as she walked into the lounge. Followed by Serena."  
"Hi firstly let me just say I am very sorry for your loss."  
"Thank you."  
"Have you found who did this yet." Serena snapped.  
"No not yet."  
"Well get out there and find them."  
"I can assure you we have got quite a few officers out looking for the car."  
"What sort of car was."  
"Well that's what I wanted to talk to you about. We have just been talking to Paul."  
"He is Alfie's best friend. Is he alright." Serena said.  
"He is very upset. Well Paul said the car headed straight for Alfie like it was done on purpose."  
"What who would do such a thing." Kate asked.  
"Faith would." Serena said.  
"Who's Faith."  
"Faith is my ex. Please tell me your not looking for a white Audi."  
"Yes we are that's what PauI.James and Andrew saw was the car that hit him."Have you had trouble with this Faith."  
"I kicked her out the other day because she hit me and threatened Emily my youngest. And she held a knife to Bernie’s throat. She is dangerous. and she sent me this text." Serena said as she showed the policeman the message.  
"Do we know where can find this Faith, what's her second name."  
"Faith Ramsey."  
"And you better find her before I do." Bernie said as she began to pace to room. Serena reached out her arm and grabbed Bernie to sit her down at the side of her.  
"Promise me you won't go anything stupid Bernie. She is dangerous and I don't want to lose you too." Serena cried as she grabbed hold of Bernie. "I need you now more than ever."  
"It's OK am not going to do anything I promise."  
"Good."  
"Now I am going to pretend I didn't hear that conversation."The policeman said. Do you have a picture of Faith by any chance."  
"Yes on my phone" This is her. "  
"Do you want me to send it to you via Bluetooth." Kate said.  
"Please that would be great."  
"Thank you darling."  
"Right we will leave you in peace we will be in touch as soon as we have any more information."  
"Thanks I will see you out." Bernie said. 

"Have they gone." Serena said.  
"Yes there have gone."  
"I should never never have let that woman in my house. What was I thinking. I put our children at risk and now one is this dead and it's all my fault.Am so sorry Bernie." Serena cried.  
"Hey it's not your fault you wasn't to know any of this was going to happen."  
"I need to go."  
"Where to."  
"Anywhere away from here. You are all better off without me." Serena said as she put her coat on.  
"No mummy don't leave me." Emily cried.  
"I have to sweetie. I love you so much never ever forget that. Momma will look after you know."  
"No no mummy please don't go." Emily sobbed as she grabbed hold of Serena around her waist.  
"Mum you can't just leave we need you." Kate said.  
"Am sorry I have to go. I love you all so much." Serena cried as she walked out the door.  
"Serena come back." 


	13. I need to see my son

"Serena come back." Bernie shouted as she chased after Serena.  
"Our boy would still be here if it wasn't for me. I as good as killed him." Serena sobbed.  
"No you didn't this isn't your fault."  
"I miss him so much. Part of me has died too."  
"I know I feel exactly the same. Come on come back inside. We need to stick together. We are still a family Serena. Our girls still need us."  
"I can't."  
"Mummy." Emily cried as she ran and grabbed Serena. "Please don't go. I love you mummy."  
"I love you too baby." Serena said as she held Emily close.  
"Don't go please come back in mummy. We have already lost Alfie we don't want to lose you too."  
"OK alright."  
Serena went back inside and sat on the sofa. She was soon joined by Kate and Emily who sat either side of her and cuddled into her side. Serena put her arms around them both and kissed them on the head.  
"I love you mum." Kate said.  
"I love you too sweetheart both of you so very much." 

"Mum can Matt stay over tonight please. Kate said later that night." MUM."  
"Sorry I was miles away. What did you say."  
"I said can Matt stay over tonight."  
"Of course he can."  
"And that's it, am not going to get a lecture about no funny business."  
"I trust you."  
"Thanks mum night."  
"Night darling."  
"Come here you." Bernie said as she pulled Serena closer to her.  
"Am gonna get her Bernie."  
"What."  
"Faith, am going to find her and I am going to make her pay for what she has done to our boy."  
"No your not. You stopped me from going after."  
"That's different."  
"How is it."  
"Because I care about what happens to you. I don't care about what's to me."  
"Well I care about what happens to you." Bernie said as she held Serena's face in her hands. "I love you I can't lose you too."  
"I just want this pain to stop. But it won't ever stop will it. I will always miss my boy." Serena cried as she cuddle Bernie.  
"We will always miss Alfie Serena. All of us. Let's go to bed, an early night won't hurt any of us."  
"I suppose so." 

Serena laid in bed listening to Bernie quietly snoring. How can you sleep she felt like shouting. Serena got out bed quietly so she didn't wake Bernie and put her dressing gown on and crept down the stairs. She grabbed her car keys unlocked the front door and closed its gently behind her. She drove a few minutes and pulled up outside the funeral directors.  
"Hello is there anyone in." she shouted "Please I need you to let me in." She saw a light, turn on in the house next and  
man who she recognised came out.  
"Can I help you Miss. He said.  
"Yes I want to see my son. He is in there and he is all alone." she sobbed.  
"I take it your Alfie Wolfes mum."  
"Yes please can I just see him."  
"He isn't ready yet we only brought him from the hospital at 6 this evening."  
"I don't care what he looks like I just want to see boy. I miss him so much."  
"Why don't you come in my house and we will call someone to come and get you."  
"Your going to ring police."  
"Of course not. But there must be someone who can get you."  
"Can't you just let me see him just for 5 minutes."  
"I can't. Look as soon as we start tomorrow I will make sure they get Alfie ready first and get them to ring you. Then you can come and see him alright."  
"It will have to be won't it."  
"No who can I call for you."  
"No one I can drive myself home."  
"I don't think you are in any fit state to be driving home."  
"Here will you ring. Her names Bernie she is my wife." 

"Am so sorry about this." Bernie said as the man let her in the house.  
"Don't apologise she isn't the first mum who has done this."  
"Serena what are playing at."  
"Don't shout at me."  
"Am not shouting at you."  
"Just take me home. You will ring me first thing tomorrow won't you."  
"I will." Thank you for helping me. "  
"It ok  
Serena and Bernie sat in the car in silence.  
"Will you just say something or shout at me. I can't stand the silence." Serena said.  
"What the hell do you think you were doing."  
"I just wanted to see my son our son. Its like you don't even care that he has gone."  
"Of course I care. Your not the only one that is hurting. You are not the only one who heart has broken. I miss him too. He is my son too my flesh and blood. You're not the only one whose heart has broken Serena." Bernie cried. Serena pulled Bernie to her and hugged her tightly.  
" Am so sorry. I have only thought about myself and how I feel. I am sorry. I love you so much Bernie."  
"I love you too. Let's go home and be with our girls yes."  
"Yes."


	14. I love you

"Are you going to sleep in our bed tonight." Bernie asked Serena's as they hot ready for bed.  
"If you hold me in your arms."  
"You know I will."  
"All night long."  
"For the rest of our lives. Come on let's get in bed. Shuffle over here and get in my arms gorgeous." Bernie said as they got in bed. Serena snuggled up close to Bernie and put her head on her chest.  
"Bernie."  
"Yes."  
"Am sorry."  
"What for."  
"Taking off tonight. I just can't bare the thought of my boy being all on his own."  
"We will be able to go see him tomorrow."  
"I won't be able to bring him home though will I. I won't be able to watch him play football again. Or hear him shouting at his mates when he is on the xbox. Hear him tell me he loves me before he leaves the house. I would give anything to have all that again."  
"So would I. But we have to be there for the girls now."  
"I know."  
"Let's try and get some sleep now."  
"OK, night."  
"Night I love you Serena."  
"I love you too."

"Morning mum." Kate said as Serena walked into the kitchen.  
"Morning darling. Morning Matt."  
"Hi Serena thanks for letting me stay last night. I just wanted to be there for Kate."  
"It's alright you can stay anytime you want to." Serena said as she sat down beside Emily and kissed her on the cheek. "What you eating Sweetheart."  
"Cornflakes do you want some Mummy."  
"No am not hungry love."  
"Serena you have to eat something." Bernie said as she put a drink in front of Serena.  
"I said am not hungry." Serena snapped as she stood and picked her drink up.  
"Where you going."  
"To get dressed so I can go and see my son." Serena said as she ran up the stairs.  
"Am worried about mum."  
"So am I Kate. So am I." 

"You ready." Bernie said as they pulled up outside the funeral directors.  
"Yes." Serena said as she got out the car and walked ahead of Bernie.  
"Hi we are here to see Alfie Wolfe." Bernie said to the woman behind the desk.  
"Take a seat I will just get someone."  
"Thanks. Serena sit down.  
"Stop telling me what to do I'm not a child."  
"Hi." the funeral director said. "Do you want to follow me."  
"Yes." Serena walked ahead again but stopped and held her hand out for Bernie to take which she accepted.  
"Take as long as you like. I will leave you in peace."  
"Thank you." Bernie said.  
"Oh my baby. I miss you so much." Serena cried as she kissed Alfie on the head. "Why did you have to leave us." Bernie said. Serena looked at Bernie and saw she was crying. "Come here." Serena hugged Bernie.  
"I want him back Serena. I want our son back." Bernie sobbed.  
"Ano I do too. We have to stick together. I promise we will be there for each other from now on. Alfie wouldn't want us to be at each other's throats. He wanted us to be together. Because he knew how much we love each other. And I do I love you more than you will ever know." Serena cried.  
"I love you too. He looks so small laying there."  
"He does but then again he was small for his age. His mate's always used to call him short arse didn't they." Serena said as she choked back the tears.  
"Yes and he didn't care did he."  
"No nothing seemed to bother him. Except when we split he didn't talk to me for about a week and I hated that. I thought I had lost him then. And now I have lost him."  
"We will always love you Alfie." Bernie said as she held his hand. We will never forget you."  
"Bear Campbell will look after you till me and mom can be there with you. I love you Alfie I always have and I always will."  
"I love you too Alfie."  
"You are one of the best things that ever happened to me my darling boy. Goodnight sweetheart." 


	15. Your gonna pay

Bernie woke up the next morning in an empty bed. She looked in Alfie's bedroom but Serena wasn't there. Bernie ran down the stairs to see if Serena was down there but she was nowhere to be seen. Bernie picked up her phone and rang Serena but it went straight to voicemail.  
"Serena where are ring me as soon as you get this message I need to know you are alright. I love you."  
"Momma where's Mummy."  
"I don't know she must have popped out for something."  
"She is coming back isn't she."  
"Course she is sure she won't be long." 

Serena sat in the car looking at her phone. 5 missed calls from Bernie.

Bernie  
Where are you ring me ASAP xx

Serena  
I won't be long. There is something I need to do first xxx

Bernie  
What do you need to you. Xx

Serena  
You will soon find out. I love you xx

Bernie  
I love you too. Just come home please xx

Serena got out of the car when she spotted a car pulling up beside her.  
"Well well well I knew you would want to see me sooner or later." Faith smirked.  
"Why Faith why did you do it."  
"Do what."  
"You know what. You killed my boy. You ran him over and just drove off. You just left him to die."  
"You know nothing."  
"I know my life will never be the same again because of you. I know my gorgeous son is lying dead in a coffin and not with his family that love him because of you . I have lost one of my beautiful kids BECAUSE OF YOU."Serena shouted." And your gonna pay for what you have done to my son and my family."  
"Don't tell me your gonna make me pay are you."  
"Definitely."  
"You haven't got the nerve."  
"Have I not."  
"No you haven't, you won't hurt me."  
"I haven't got anything left to lose. I have already lost one of the people I love most in this world." Now your gonna pay." Serena said as she walked to her car.  
"What are you going to do." Faith said nervously.  
"Exactly what you did to my son. You are going to feel what he felt. Feel as scared as he was." Serena said as she started the car up.  
You haven't got the bottle Campbell. "  
"We'll soon find out who's got the bottle won't we." Serena revved the car up. She was just about to put her foot down when she heard the sirens and saw the police cars pull up. Two of them handcuffed Faith.  
"Come on Serena out the car." The policeman said.  
"Thank god you turned up when you did. I was this close to hurting her like she hurt my boy." Serena cried.  
"It's a good job you didn't. You did well but you really should have left it to us."  
"You wouldn't have found her. I knew she would come and see me if I messaged her."  
"Come on, let's get you home. PC Woods will drive your car home."  
"What will happen to her now."  
"She won't be seeing the outside world for a very long time, hopefully."  
"Am glad I did what I did." Faith snarled. "Am glad your hurting now you'll know how I felt. When you kicked me out."  
"Grow up" what you did was the most horrible thing one person can do to another. Do you really hate me that much."  
"I know you hate me now."  
"Of course I hate you. My boy never did anything wrong in his life. He didn't deserve what you did to him. I hope you rot in hell. I still have my family you. You have no one."  
"Come on you." The policeman said the Faith as he put her in the back of the car.

"Serena what's happened" Bernie said as she opened the door and saw Serena stood with a policeman.  
"She took matters into her own hands and found Faith."  
"Are you mad." Bernie asked angrily as they went onto the lounge. Serena didn't answer she just sat on the sofa.  
"Don't be too angry with her. She did ring us first and tell us where she was meeting her. We got there just in time. Faith is now behind bars. I will leave you to it."  
"Thank you." Bernie said as she let the policeman out. "What the hell do you think you were playing at you could have been hurt."  
"I don't care. I just wanted to hurt her like she hurt our son. I wanted her to feel exactly what he felt. The pain that he felt." Serena cried.  
"And then it would have been you in a prison cell and not her."  
"It would have so worth it. I was this close to killing her. But the police came just as I was going to my out me foot down."  
"Well am glad they did."  
"Am not. I wanted to kill her Bernie."  
"And then what we would have lost you as well as Alfie."  
"Have you ever hated anyone so much that you don't care what happens to them." Bernie shook head. "Well I do that's what I feel about Faith and so should you. Sometimes I don't even think you care that he has gone."  
"Of course I care."  
"Do you."  
"You know I do. I am just trying to be strong for our girls. Remember them Serena. Our daughters."  
"You know I do. I love Kate and Emily."  
"Then start showing it Serena. Or your going to lose them and me." 


	16. Leave her alone

"Don't walk away from me." Serena said as she followed Bernie into the kitchen. "How dare you insinuate that I don't love our daughters. They mean the world to me.”  
“Do they do they really. Because I haven't seen much evidence of that lately.”  
"I HAVE LOST MY SON." Serena shouted as she got right up into Bernie’s face.  
"AND I HAVE LOST MINE SERENA." Bernie shouted.  
"Don't shout at me."  
"Why not you shouted at me. You can't carry on like this Serena."  
"You have no idea how I am feeling."  
"Of course I do he was my son too."  
"No no not was your son he is still your son."  
"He has gone Serena."  
"Don't you think I know that. Don't you think my heart knows that. My heart has broken and it will never be fixed never. I have to get out of here."Serena cried.  
"Where you going now."  
"Don't pretend you care." Serena said as she ran out the front door.  
"SERENA." 

Serena walked into a bar she had never been in before. It seemed a bit rough but as long as it's had a decent Shiraz I don't care she thought.  
"Hi can I get a large Shiraz please."  
"Certainly." Serena looked round the bar it was quite busy for an afternoon. "There you go that's £4.50 please love. "  
"Thanks." Serena picked up her drink and went to find a table.  
"Hi." a woman said a little while later as she walked up pto Serena's table.  
"Hi.  
"Can I get you a drink."  
"Am fine thanks."  
"Oh come on you have been staring into that empty glass for ages now. Let me buy you another."  
"OK Shiraz please."  
"Coming right up."  
Serena looked at the woman she was a very good looking woman with her hair in a Bob. "There you go one large shiraz."  
"Thank you. Will you join me."  
"I was hoping you would say that." I have been watching you for last 30 minutes."  
"Why."  
"Why because you are gorgeous, but you also look like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders."  
"That's because I do."  
"Do you want to talk about it."  
"You don't want to hear about how tragic my life is at the minute ."  
"Try me. Sometimes talking to a complete stranger helps."  
"You really wanna know."  
"Yes." The woman said as she put her hand on top of Serena's and smiled.  
"I don't even know your name."  
"My names Jane. What's yours."  
"Serena."  
"That's a beautiful name. For a beautiful woman."  
"I don't know about that. I don't feel very beautiful at the moment. My life has fallen apart. I have just lost my son."  
"Am sorry how."  
"He was run over by ex wanting revenge for me kicking her out."  
"The bitch. Was she not right in the head.".  
"I don't think she was no."  
"Your son how old was he."  
"15. But he didn't look 15 he was quite small for his age."  
"Have you got a picture."  
"Yes yes." Serena said as she pulled out her phone and knock off the 6 missed calls from Bernie. "This is my son Alfie."  
"What a very handsome young man. Bless him."  
"I miss him so much. My wife she."  
"Your married."  
"Divorced but we got back together a few weeks ago."  
"Right carry on. "

Serena told Jane all about Alfie and Faith.  
"The woman sounds a complete nutter. Hope she will get what's coming to her."  
"She would have done if the police hadn't shown up. I was ready to run her over."  
"Good for you. She deserves it after what she did to your son."  
"I wish my wife felt the same way. She thinks I'm an idiot for doing what I did."  
"I think you were very brave."  
"All and Bernie that's my wife. All me and Bernie seem to do lately is argue. I can't seem to do anything right and neither can she. It makes me wonder why we ever got back together in the first place."  
"it seems like you have got a lot to think about."  
"Doesn't it just. FLEUR."  
"Hi how are you." Fleur said as she gave Serena a hug. "  
"Not too bad. Jane this is my friend Fleur. Fleur this is Jane."  
"Hi."  
"Nice to meet you. Why don't I take you home."  
"I don't want to go home, I am having a good time with Jane."  
"You heard her she is having a good time with me. I will go get us another drink."  
"Good idea."  
"Come on Serena I don't think you need another drink."  
"When did you get so boring. I can remember when you used to be the life and soul of the party." Serena slurred.  
"You do know this Jane woman thinks she is on a promise with you don't you."  
"She might be yet." Serena winked.  
"Serena you can't think about Bernie."  
"Bernie does give a shit about me or our son. I just know she waiting for an excuse to leave me."  
"You know that's not true."  
"Well why does it feel like it. She never wants to talk about Alfie. She acts like he never existed."  
"Maybe that's her way of coping with it."  
"Well it's a shit way. I miss him so much Fleur. I would give anything to have back with me. I want him to tell me that he loves me. And I want to tell him I love one more time."  
"There you go one Shiraz." Jane said as she sat back down very close to Serena.  
"Thanks am just nipping to the loo." Serena said as she stood up and wobbled.  
"Are you ok." Faith said as she held her arm.  
"Am fine stop fussing."  
"Why don't you just go and leave Serena alone."  
"I'm not going anywhere."  
"You will never get her into your bed if that's what your thinking."  
"Won't I we'll see."  
"Serena is married.  
"Divorced. "  
"They are back together, and she has just lost one of her children. Her head is all.over that place right now."  
"I can tell you where my head is going to be before the nights out." Jane smirked.  
"Get out of here and leave me friend alone I mean it."  
"Whatever." Jane said as she stood up and walked off. "

Serena stood in toilets just looking in the mirror. She could barely recognize the women staring back at her.  
"Are you alright." Jane said as she came into the toilets and put her hand on Serena's shoulder.  
"I don't know. I think I better go home."  
"You could always come back to my place. Am sure I could find a way to make you feel better."  
"I couldn't do that."  
"Why not I could make you feel so good." Jane said as she put her face closer to Serena's.  
"Because I don't want to sleep with you."  
"Who said anything about sleeping." Jane said as she pulled Serena to her and tried to kiss her.  
"I said no just leave me alone."  
"Come on you know you want to." Jane grabbed Serena roughly and tried to put her hand up Serena's shirt.  
"No please I don't want this."  
"I think you do."  
"She said no are you deaf." Fleur said as she walked onto the toilet.  
"What's it's got to do with you.  
"Serena is my best friend it's got everything to do with me now if you know what's good for you I would leave now."  
"What's up do you want to do her herself."  
"GET OUT." Serena shouted.  
"You two are welcome to each other." Jane said as she walked out.  
"Are you OK."  
"I am thanks to you. Serena said as she hugged Fleur.  
"Come let's get you home to your family."


	17. I'm not going anywhere

"Please don't tell Bernie about what happened with Jane will you." Serena said as Fleur parked up outside her home.   
"Don't you think she has a right to know. God only knows what would have happened if I hadn't have walked in."  
"But you did so please don't say anything."   
"OK if that's what you want."   
"It is I don't want her to leave me again."   
"You kicked her out the first time remember."   
"I know that and I regret it, I really do. None of this would have happened if I hadn't."   
"Don't go beating yourself up. None of what has happened is your fault Serena."   
"I just want my son back Fleur. I want everything to go back to normal." Serena cried.   
"I know you do." Fleur said as she reached out and hugged Serena. "I hate seeing you like this I really do."  
"Do you remember when we were younger and you used to fancy me."   
"We were just kids then."   
"We were 17."   
"I was all ready to tell you how I felt about you but I was too late. You had met Bernie and that was it I was friend zoned."   
"I love you Fleur. But as a friend. Me and you would never have worked."  
"I love you too. But i know that Bernie is perfect for you. You belong together. Please don't let losing Alfie split you up. You need to get through this together."   
"I know. Thanks for everything. I will call you later."   
"You better. Go and talk to Bernie OK."  
"Ok goodnight."   
"Night." 

"Mummy" Emily said as she came running to the door when Serena came in.  
"Hey baby what you still doing up." Serena said as she hugged Emily.   
"Am waiting for you."   
"Thank you." Serena said as she kissed Emily and held her close. "I love you so much you know that don't you."   
"I know, I love you too mummy."   
"Are you alright." Bernie said.   
"Yes, Emily why you go sit in the lounge I will come through in a minute."   
"OK."   
"I was going to ask where you have but I can see you have been to the pub."   
"I just had a few drinks that's all."   
"Yes cause that's really gonna solve our problems isn't."   
"Please Bernie I don't want us to argue. I am fed up of arguing with you. Serena said as she walked closer to Bernie and put her arms around her waist."I love you so much it hurts. I have loved you for over 20 years and I always will. I don't ever want to lose you again."   
"I don't want to lose you either. I love you more than you'll ever know."  
"Kiss me."   
"Come here. Bernie put her lips to Serena's gently at first then the kiss became passionate."I've missed you." Bernie said as they came up for air.   
"I've missed you too. I want you to make love to me. I need to feel you inside of me."  
"I want that too."  
"Why don't I go get Emily tucked up in bed then you come up in a bit OK."   
"OK."   
"Emily come on bedtime for you young lady."   
"Will you read me a story mummy."   
"A quick one OK cause it's getting late."  
"Yeah."  
"Give momma a kiss goodnight."   
"Night momma."   
"Goodnight darling sweet dreams."   
"Go on trouble up you go."   
"Serena."   
"Yeah."   
"Don't be too long will you I need you."   
"I won't. I need you too." Serena said as she kissed Bernie again before going up the stairs. 

Bernie decided she had waited long enough for Serena. She turned off all the lights and checked all the doors where locked. Bernie mind had visions of Serena waiting for her on seductively on the bed wearing next to nothing.   
"I hope you are ready for me." Bernie said as she opened the bedroom door to find the room empty.   
"Serena where are you." Bernie said as she looked in the bathroom but there was still no sign of her. She looked in Emily room and found Serena and Emily fast asleep snuggled up to each other in bed. They looked so cute laying there together Bernie didn't have the heart to wake Serena up. She turned out the lamp and closed the bedroom door. 

"Mummy wake up."Emily said as she gently shook Serena awake.   
"Mmm morning darling."  
"You slept with me all night."   
"I did didn't I. You don't mind do you."   
"No." Emily smiled as she snuggled closer. "I like sleeping close to you Mummy. I can keep you safe then."   
"I'm not going anywhere darling."   
"You promise."   
"I promise. I think we should go down and get you some breakfast I just heard your belly rumble." Serena laughed.   
"Are you going to have some breakfast too."   
"Yeah come on. Let's go downstairs."   
"Morning Momma." Emily said to Bernie as they walked into the kitchen.   
"Morning sweetie."  
"You sit down and I will get you some breakfast." Serena said. "Morning you."   
"Morning did you sleep well."   
"Yes. Look am sorry about last night. I was reading Emily her book and I must have just nodded off."  
"Its fine."   
"You're not angry with me."   
"Of course not. I could have woken you up if I wanted to. But you two just looked so cute and comfortable together I didn't have the heart to wake you up."   
"Maybe tonight yes."   
"Maybe."   
"Morning mum. Morning mom." Kate said as she came into the kitchen.   
"Morning love."   
"Mum Matt had just rang me."  
"And."  
"Well he isn't working this weekend and he says he wants to take me away somewhere."  
"That's nice." Bernie said.   
"Just you and Matt."   
"Yes he thinks I need a break."   
"Don't we all."   
"So can I go."   
"I don't see why not."   
"Really your letting me go."  
"Kate you're 18 you're practically an adult. You go and enjoy yourself. Come on Emily let's go see what's on the TV." Serena said as she took her bowl and went to sit in the lounge.  
"I thought she was going to say no then."   
"So did I. So where is he taking you."   
"I don't know if he said he is going to book it when he finishes work."  
"Looks like you have found a good one there Kate."   
"I think I have too mom." 

"Are you alright." Bernie said Serena as she walked into the bedroom.   
"Am OK."   
"Kate was a bit shocked when you said she could away with Matt. She thought you would say no."   
"I nearly did. But she is an adult now. I have to cut her a bit of slack don't I."   
"I was thinking as seen as Kate is going away for the weekend why do me you and Emily go somewhere for the weekend too."   
"Where to."   
"Anywhere you want to go."   
"Can we go to Blackpool. Alfie used to love it when we went there didn't he."   
"Yes he did."   
"We don't have to go there if you don't want to I just thought that it would be nice."   
"If you want to go to Blackpool then we will go to Blackpool." Bernie said as she kissed Serena gently on the lips.   
"Thank you. I don't know what I would do without you."   
"Your never going to have find out. Me and you we are going to be together forever."  
"That's all I want. I love you."   
"I love you too."


	18. I want my son

"That's Blackpool all booked." Bernie said as she walked out into the garden where Serena was sitting.   
"That was quick. Where we staying."   
"In a little b&b. It's pretty central."   
"Good that's good."   
"What's wrong."  
"Just thinking that's all."   
"About."   
"Alfie. I don't think I will ever get used to life without him. I miss him so much Bernie."   
"I miss him too."   
"I know you do. You know I used to hate getting up at sparrows cough with him on a Sunday morning to take him to football. But my God I would kill do that again now. To watch him play football and score a goal."  
"The lads would pick him when he scored remember."   
"Yes. I want him back Bernie. I want our son back." Serena cried.   
"I know. I wish I could bring him back I really do." Bernie said as she put her arm around Serena. Serena huddled into Bernie side and kissed Bernie’s neck.   
“Can I tell you something. "  
"Course."   
"Promise me you won't get angry with me."   
"I can't promise you that because I don't know what it is your going to tell me."  
"You know I love you don't you."  
"Yes and I love you."   
"And I love Kate and Emily so much."   
"Go on."  
"But I want to be with Alfie am so sorry."Serena sobbed.   
"You can be with Alfie in years to come when it's your turn to pass away."   
"I don't want to wait. I want to be with him now."   
"Don't be stupid."   
"Don't call me stupid. Am not stupid I just want to be with my son. Can't you understand that."   
"And you think I don't."  
"It's different for me."   
"How is it different he is my son too."   
"I GAVE BIRTH TO HIM." Serena shouted.   
"I wondered how long it would be before that came out. You wanted to give birth to them all. I did offer but you wanted to do it."  
"I KNOW I DID."   
"I can't talk to you when your being like this."   
"Where you going."  
"Back to my flat."   
"Your not serious."   
"Oh am serious. See you later."   
"If you walk out that door don't even think about coming back."   
"Suits me fine." Bernie said as she walked back in the house. 

"BERNIE WAIT PLEASE." Serena said as she ran after her.   
"Momma where you going." Emily said as Bernie put her coat on. "  
"Emily go play in your room for a bit please." Serena said.   
"OK."  
"Please don't go."  
"I can't do this anymore Serena."   
"I can't lose you. Am nothing without you." Serena cried as she tried to grab Bernie.   
"I think we need time away from each other. To sort our heads out."   
"NO NO please I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said."  
"Which bit."   
"All of it."  
"So your not going to try and hurt yourself. Serena."   
"I can't promise you that."   
"Then I'm going."   
"No you can't. Kate and Emily will need you when"   
"When what Serena."   
"When am gone." Serena said as she put her head down and looked at the floor.   
"Your not going anywhere." Bernie said as she held Serena's face in her hand. "Because I won't let you. I won't let you hurt herself do you hear me. You are my life and my world. You said you are nothing without me. Well I am nothing without you." Bernie said as tears ran down her face. Serena tried to wipe Bernie’s tears away with her thumb. All the while with tears streaming down her own face.   
"Please please don't cry."   
"Promise me, promise me you won't try and hurt yourself."  
“Don’t leave me. If you leave me i might as well be dead.”  
“Don't talk like that please. Let’s just go away this weekend and see how we get on yes.”  
“Yes” Bernie took Serena in her arms as they held each other while they both were crying.

"Alright trouble what you are doing." Matt said as she Kate walked into the lounge.   
"Fine." She said quietly.   
"Emily what's up."Kate said as she down beside her.   
"Mummy and Momma have been arguing again."  
"Again what about now."   
"Alfie as far as I could tell."   
"What has been said now."   
"I didn't hear all of it but Mummy was begging Momma not to leave."   
"Mom was going to leave."   
"I think so it sounded like it anyway."   
"There going to end splitting up again I know they are." Kate said.   
"You don't know that."   
"We are supposed to be going away for the weekend. It's not going to be very good it they are arguing all the time.   
"They might not."   
"Mummy doest seem to care about anything anymore."   
"Emily that's not true. Mum loves us."  
"Not as much as she loves Alfie. I wish you were coming with us."   
"Come here trouble. Everything is going to be OK." Kate said as she hugged Emily. 

"When did you two come in." Bernie said as she walked into the kitchen from the garden.   
"Not long ago. Where's mum."   
"Am here." Serena said as she kissed Kate on the top of the head. "I was just upstairs packing some things for the weekend. Have you two decided where you're going yet."   
"That's what we wanted to talk to you about."   
"Go on."   
"Well we had a look at your emails and looked at where you lot where staying."  
"Right."  
"And we booked in too."   
"Your coming with us." Bernie said.   
"Yes if you don't mind."   
"Of course we don't mind. But are you sure. I thought you might want some time to yourselves." Serena said.   
"We want to go together as a family."   
"And me as a tagalong." Matt said.   
"Your no tagalong Matt. You are part of this family whether you like it or not." Serena laughed.   
"I like it."   
"Good then I guess that's all sorted."   
"No quite. We have booked a double room."   
"Obviously."   
"Yes but we are going to swap with you."  
"Sorry."  
"You can have the double room and me, Matt and Emily will have the family room."   
"You can do that."   
"We can and we will."   
"What about you Matt are you alright with that."   
"It was my idea actually."   
"Really, so no arguments it's all sorted."   
"Yes Sir."   
"Good right come. Have you packed Emily's bag yet."   
"No I was going to do it after tea."   
"Come on Emily let's go do it now eh you can pick what you want to put in."   
"OK come on then."   
"Well that's a turn up.for the books."   
"Isn't it it'll be nice though all together."   
"Yes it will."   
"Our Kate has found a good one there."   
"Just like I have."


	19. Blackpool

"Serena come on we need to leave now to avoid the morning traffic." Bernie said as she ran back in the house.   
"Alright am here."   
"Are you OK."   
"Am fine." Serena said as she kissed Bernie "Let's go."   
"Right let's get to Blackpool then." Bernie said as Serena and her got in the car. "  
"Yes. Mummy will we be able to go on the beach when we get there." Emily said.   
"Course we can sweetie."   
"Matt will you come crabbing with me."   
"Emily I think Matt and Kate might want to go off by themselves."   
"We have all weekend to do that. I will come crabbing with you Emily. I used to love doing that when I was a kid."   
"Great thanks Matt." 

"Momma are we nearly there yet."   
"Not be long now. Why don't you see if you can see the tower."   
"It's there I can see it." Emily said excitedly.   
"No darling." Serena laughed. "That's and electricity pylon."   
"Silly me." Emily laughed.   
Serena put her hand on Bernie’s thigh and squeezed her leg as they both smiled at each other. I love you Serena mouthed. I love you too Bernie mouthed back.   
"Emily look over the to your left." Matt said.   
"Mummy I can see it. I can see the tower there look."   
"Wow yes I can see it too." 

"Here we go this is our b & b." Bernie said as she stopped the car.   
"Hello welcome" the woman said as she answered the door to them.   
"Hello we have two rooms booked. The names Wolfe."   
"A family room and a double room."   
"That's right."   
"Right here are your keys. The rooms are next to each other on the second floor."   
"Thank you very much."   
"Breakfast is served at 8.30 till 10.00."  
"Cheers." Bernie said as they all made their way upstairs to the rooms.   
"Are you sure you two don't want the double." Serena said.   
"No we will be fine with Emily. Won't we darling." Matt said.   
"Yes absolutely. Go on and unpack."   
"Do you want me to come and unpack Emily's bag."   
"No I'll do it it's fine."   
"OK."   
"Come on Serena let's go and unpack."   
Once Serena and Bernie were in the bedroom Serena flopped herself out on the bed on her back.   
"Serena we have to unpack."   
"I know am just testing how comfy bed is."  
"So tell me is it comfy." Bernie smiled as she straddled Serena on the bed.   
"Very."   
"Hi." Bernie said as she leaned down on Serena. So their faces were inches apart.   
"Hi." Serena put her arms around Bernie and pulled her to her. They kissed each other like they haven't kissed each other for a while.   
"Bernie."   
"Yes."   
"Have we got time."   
"Time for what Serena." She smirked.   
"You know full well what I am talking about."  
"Tell me." Bernie smiled as she kissed along Serena's neck.   
"Fuck me."   
"With pleasure." Bernie said as she kissed Serena passionately. Bernie was just about to put her hand down Serena's trousers when there was a knock at the door.   
"Who's that." Serena said.   
"Me mummy can I come in."  
"Bloody hell." Bernie said.   
"Let her in." Serena said as she kissed Bernie. "We will finish this tonight yes."   
"Definitely. Come on in trouble."  
"You not helping Kate unpack."   
"No I want to go out now."   
"I guess we could always unpack later."   
"Yes come on Mummy let's go out to the beach."   
"Come on then let's go."   
"Yes thank you." Emily said as she hugged Serena. 

"There you go." Bernie said as she sat next Serena on the steps near the beach and handed her a coffee.   
"Thanks."   
"You alright."   
"Yes just watching those 3. I wish Alfie was here."   
"So do I he loved it here didn't he."   
"Yes remember the last time we came here and he made us go in the dungeons."   
"Yes you and Emily hated it."   
"We just clung to each other didn't we. That was the longest hour of my life."   
"Maybe we should do it again this time."   
"No fucking way am I going back in there thank you very much." Serena said as she moved closer to Bernie and put her head on her shoulder. Bernie kissed the top of the head.   
"We have got the hardest thing to get through yet though haven't we."  
"We have."   
"I am dreading next Thursday. Saying goodbye to Alfie. How are we going to cope with that."   
"We will cope because we will be together. Me and you can do anything as long as we're together."


	20. He isn't Alfie

"You won't leave me will you."  
"No way. Remember our wedding vows for better or worse."  
"I do." Serena smiled.  
"Well this time we are sticking to it right."  
"Right and if I try to push you away or I say something nasty just take no notice of me will you."  
"I take no notice of you anyway." Bernie laughed.  
"Hey you" Serena said as she nudged Bernie.  
"Mummy look I caught 2 crabs. Emily said as she ran up the steps to where Serena and Bernie were sitting.  
"Wow lovely."  
"Momma look."  
"I can see. What you going to do with them now."  
"Take them with us."  
"No baby you can't take them with us. I think you have to put them back in the sea. Serena laughed.  
"OK." Emily said sadly.  
"Come on trouble let's go put them back." Kate said.  
"Mummy can we go get something to eat them I am hungry."  
"Cause we can." 

"What do you guys what to eat." Bernie said as they walked away from the beach.  
"Fish and chips we have to. Kate said.  
"Yeah can we have Fish and chips Mummy."  
"I don't see why not. Do you want to go to the one we usually go to when we come here."  
"Yeah."  
"Come on, then."  
"Right what's everyone having." Bernie said as they all sat outside the fish chip."  
"Fish and chips please mom. Matt what you having."  
"Same please."  
"Serena."  
"Fish and chips please. Are you going to share a fish with me Emily."  
"Yes."  
"Shall I just get her a portion of chips then. If she is sharing your fish."  
"Yeah please."  
"Me and Matt will come in and help you mom."  
"OK thank you love."  
"Mummy are you alright"  
"Am fine darling are you."  
"Yes I like it here."  
"I know you do."  
"Alfie used to like it here didn't he."  
"He did."  
"I wish he was here mummy."  
Emily said as she huddled into Serena's side.  
"So do I baby. So do I." Serena said as she hugged Emily close.  
"Here we go tuck in everyone." Bernie said as she came back out with the piping hot fish and chips.  
"Lovely." Serena smiled. Serena broke half her fish off and gave it to Emily.  
"Thank you mummy."  
"Your welcome baby. Do you want some red sauce."  
"Please." They all sat and chatted and laughed while they ate their lunch. Serena looked around at everyone and felt a stray tear run her cheek. Bernie looked up and saw Serena wipe the tears away. Bernie put her hand on Serena's leg and squeezed it.  
You alright she mouthed. Serena nodded back and went back to eating her lunch.  
"Where we going when we have had our dinner." Emily said.  
"Where do you want to go."  
"Amusements."  
"I don't know about that." Serena smiled.  
"Please mummy. I want to go on the 2p machines."  
"OK. Kate are you and Matt coming."  
"I think we are going to go for a look around if that's alright."  
"Of course it is. You two do whatever you want."  
"OK we will see you later back at the B&B." Kate said as she gave Serena and Bernie kiss.  
"OK darling have fun."  
"Thanks for the fish and chips." Matt said.  
"Your very welcome."  
"Have you got enough money on you both."  
"Yes mum plenty."  
"OK, see you later."  
"Emily."  
"Yes."  
"Win me something nice on the slots.  
"I will." 

Mummy look what I have won. I am going to give it to Kate."Emily said as they were on the amusements.  
"Am sure she will love it darling."  
"Mummy sit at the side of me please while I use this machine."  
"OK." Serena was looking around the amusements it was so noisy with people enjoying themselves. When she saw a boy with a foot kit on walking by. Alfie she said to herself as she stood up and followed the boy. The boy was walking faster.  
"Alfie, Alfie wait come back. The boy turned around and looked at Serena." Am so sorry I thought you were my. "  
"Serena what the hell do you think your doing. You just left Emily there on her own anything could have happened to her.  
"Sorry I thought he was."  
"She kept calling me Alfie." The lad said. "  
"Am sorry." Bernie said. "You run along."  
"OK."  
"He wouldn't stop I was shouting him from the other side of the amusements."  
"He isn't Alfie Serena."  
"He looked so much like him."  
"Alfie had gone Serena."  
"Don't you think I know that. I can't get him out of my head. I think about him all the time. I don't want Thursday to come. I can't say goodbye to our son and I don't want to." Serena sobbed.  
"We have to Serena."  
"Well I can't." Emily walked up to Serena and put her arms around Serena's waist and hugged her.  
"Don't cry mummy. I will look after you I promise." Serena knelt down and hugged Emily tightly.  
"I know you will baby. I know you will."


	21. I love you both

"Can you take Emily I need some time by myself." Serena said to Bernie as she stood up.  
"Where you going."  
"Just for a walk to clear my head."  
"I want to come with you mummy."  
"You can't I want to be by myself. Just stay with momma." Serena snapped as she walked away.  
"Serena wait a minute." Bernie said as she ran after her with Emily in tow.  
"What."  
"Let's all go for a walk together."  
"No I want to be on my own."  
"I don't want you to go off on your own."  
"Why."  
"Because I don't trust you."  
"Thanks."  
"You know why I don't trust you. I don't want you to do anything stupid."  
"I think that's up to me to decide isn't it." Serena said as she walked away.  
"Momma where is mummy going."  
"I don't know. Do you want to go back on the machines."  
"No I want to go with Mummy."Emily cried.  
"Come here it's alright. Mummy won't be long I promise. Why don't we go for a walk ourselves. We might see mummy then."  
"OK."  
Bernie and Emily walked out of the amusements and walked towards the pier.  
"EMILY." Emily turned around and saw Kate and Matt walking towards them.  
"Where are you two going."  
"We are going for a walk to see if we can find mummy."  
"Why where is mum." Bernie pulled Kate to one side and told her about what had happened.  
"You don't think mum will do anything do you." Kate said with tears in her eyes.  
"I hope not. Can you take Emily with you two while I go look for your mum."  
"Yes sure ring me as soon as you find her. And we will keep a look out for her as well."  
"Thanks Emily you go with Kate and Matt OK."  
"Ok. Momma find mummy won't you."  
"I will sweetheart. Be good."  
"I will."  
"See you later." 

Bernie walked down one of piers to see if Serena was there but there was no sign of her. She looked in some more of the arcades but she couldn't see her. She tried to ring her mobile but there was no answer. She decided to go on the other pier. She walked past the bar at the end of the pier and looked through the window. Serena was sat at a table drinking. Oh God she looks pissed Bernie thought to herself. Bernie texted Kate to say she had found her.  
"Serena." Bernie said as she sat down beside her. "That's not going to help is it."  
"It's helping me. Where's Emily."  
"With Kate and Matt."  
"What are you doing here anyway."  
"I had to come and find you to make sure you were alright."  
"You really don't trust me do you."  
"In a word, no. You are not in the right frame of mind to be wandering off on your own."  
"I just wanted to be my myself."  
"Getting drunk yeah cause" that's going to solve everything isn't Serena."  
"Don't shout at me."  
"Someone has to knock some sense into you."  
"I'd like to see you try."  
"You can't carry on like this."  
“Like what are you telling me i can’t grieve for my son. Or that I can’t miss my son.”  
"Of course not I miss him too. You think there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about him and miss him. But I have to hold it all together for you and girls."  
"I don't need you to hold it together for me I can look after myself." Serena slurred.  
"Yes I can see that. That's why you are pissed yet again. Yes you can really look after yourself.”  
“Don't patronise me.” Serena said as she stood and walked the bar.  
“Where you going now.”  
Anywhere your not.”  
“I'm not going to let walk off of your own again.”  
“Who do you think you are my mother.”  
“No Serena am your wife.”  
“Ex wife. Why the hell did we ever get back together.”  
“Because we still love each other don't we.”  
“I don’t know do we.”  
“I still love you. I have always loved you and I always will.”  
“Why for two years we hardly spoke to each other. We said hello when you picked the kids up. And goodbye when you brought them back. You only wanted to speak to me when you found out was marrying Faith.”  
“And look where that got you.”  
“I knew it. I just knew that you blamed me for all of this.”  
“I don’t blame you it’s her fault not yours.  
“But i hadn't met her Alfie would still be alive. Our son would still be here with us.” Serena sobbed. Bernie pulled Serena close as she cried on Bernie’s shoulder.  
"It's not your fault Serena. No one blames you."  
"I blame me."  
“Let's go back shall we.”  
“I can’t let the girls see me like this.”Serena said as she tried to wipe her eyes.  
“Let’s go somewhere for a coffee then shall we. Sober you up a bit."  
“Yes. Bernie."  
"What.  
"Thank you."  
"Come on coffee." Bernie smiled as she held Serena's hand in hers. 

"You alright now." Bernie said as they arrived back at the B&B.  
"Yes I just want to see the girls before they go to sleep."  
"Come on."  
Serena and Bebie walked up the stairs and knocked on the bedroom door.  
"Mummy." Emily said as she ran into Serena's arms.  
"Hi baby." Serana cried as she sat on the bed with Emily and hugged her tightly.  
"Where have you been mum?" Kate said.  
"Kate come here." Serena said as she grabbed Kate and held both her daughters together. "I'm so sorry I haven't been a very good mum lately."  
"You have still been a good mum."  
"No Kate I haven't. Since we lost Alfie I haven't given you and Emily the attention you need."  
"It's OK mummy. You miss Alfie we understand that."  
"I still shouldn't have pushed you away. I love you both so very very much. You know that don't you." Serena sobbed as she kissed them both on the head.  
"We know that mum. And we love you too. We will always be there for you and mom."  
"Me too."Matt said.  
"We know that." Bernie said as she put her arm around Matts shoulder and kissed him on the cheek.  
"Your a good lad Matt." Serena said. "Right bedtime for you Emily Jane Wolfe. Do you want me to tuck you in."  
"I want to sleep with you tonight mummy." Emily said as she held onto Serena.  
"Why don't you and Bernie stay here tonight and we will take the double." Matt said.  
"Am sorry for messing you two about." Bernie said.  
"It's fine."  
"Serena I will just nip next door and get our nightwear alright."  
"OK. Come on let's get you tucked up in bed."  
"Mummy." Emily said she as she laid in Serena's arms in bed.  
"What baby."  
"I will be there for you on Thursday at Alfie's funeral."  
"I know you will. And do you know what."  
"What.  
"I will be here for you and Kate for the rest of my life. I will never let you down again I promise."  
"If you need to cry just cry in front of us. We don't mind. We miss Alfie too mummy. We can all cry together." Emily yawned.  
"I know sweetheart. Come on close your eyes and go to sleep."  
"Love you mummy."  
"I love you baby."


	22. Will we ever do this

When Serena was satisfied Emily was fast asleep, she crept out of bed and climb in beside of Bernie.  
"Is she asleep." Bernie said sleepily.  
"Yes."  
"Good."  
"Bernie."  
"Yes."  
"Can I have a hug please.  
"Of course you can come here." Bernie smiled as she opened her arms so Serena could snuggle up.  
"I'm sorry about today. Your right I can't go on like this."  
"I just wish you would talk to me about it. Instead of going off on your own."  
"I will do in future I promise."  
"Good." Bernie said as she kissed Serena on top of her head.  
"I love you Bernie. I always have even when we were apart I never stopped loving you.  
"Me either."  
"I hated it when we wasn't talking to each other. Everytime you would pick the kids up. I just wanted to throw my arms around you kiss you and tell you to come home."  
"Then why didn't you."  
"Too stubborn I suppose. I used to lay in bed at night thinking about you. Wondering if you were in bed with everyone else."  
"It was you that was lying in bed with someone else not me."  
"I know. Even when I was in bed with her I thought of you."  
"You did."  
"Yes when we had sex I used to imagine it was you making love to me. I nearly shouted out your name once I had to stop myself."  
"That would have gone down well would it."  
"No. Didn't you see anyone when we were apart."  
"No I didn't. I didn't want anyone else. I only wanted you."  
"Am so sorry Bernie." Serena cried as she held onto Bernie tighter.  
"It's alright don't cry. We're together now and that's all that matters."  
"I want you to make love to me. Its seem ages since we did anything."  
"It is ages since we did anything. But we can't can we not with Emily asleep in the same room."  
"I know but I need you so badly. Feel." Serena said as she grabbed Bernie’s hand and put in her knickers.  
"Oh my god Serena you are soaked."  
"Tell me about it."  
"What are we going to do."  
"We could always go in the bathroom and lock the door."  
"You want to have sex in the bathroom."  
"I just want to have sex. I need you so much. Come on let's go in the bathroom." Serena said as she kissed Bernie and ran her tongue across Bernie’s bottom lip.  
"OK then." Bernie said as she jumped out of bed closely followed by Serena. 

"Oh god I need you so much." Serena said as she kissed Bernie and put Bernie’s hand back inside her knickers.  
"I need you too. Fuck me too Serena."  
"My pleasure." Serena put her hand down Bernie’s knickers and started stroking her clit.  
"Serena lay on the floor."  
"What I'm not laying on a bathroom floor."  
"Here I will put this towel down for you lay on."  
"OK." Serena said as she laid on the floor.  
"Pull down your knickers for me."  
While Serena pulled down her knickers Bernie did the same. Bernie then straddle Serena making sure both there clits were touching. Serena grabbed Bernie by the waist and started moving Bernie faster putting more pressure on both there clits.  
"Oh fuck I love doing this with you." Serena moaned as they found a good rhythm.  
"You are so beautiful do you know that."  
"So are you that's why I married you. Don't you dare stop Berenice. I want us to come together. Fuck fuck harder please. Oh oh my God."  
"Shush Emily is asleep in the next room. Oh god Serena your clit feels so good against mine."  
"Mummy I need the toilet." Emily said as she tried the door handle.  
"Oh for fuck sake." Serena sighed I am nearly ready to come here."  
"Mummy open the door please."  
Bernie and Serena stood up and put there knickers back on.  
"Come on." Serena said as she unlocked the door and let Emily in.  
"Thank you. Bernie walked out the bathroom and got back into bed.  
"Mummy why was you and momma in the toilet together."  
"I er I wasn't feeling very well and momma was helping me."  
"Oh OK. I'm going back to bed now."  
"OK let's tuck you back in."  
"Night mummy."  
"Night baby. Go back to sleep now."  
"I will." Serena got back into bed and looked up ceiling and sighed. 

"Looks like this is never going to happen does it."  
"It looks that way. We could always go back in and finish what we started."  
"Why we will only get disturbed again. Bernie said as she turned over to face Serena.  
"I need to finish myself off then because I can't go to sleep till I do. My clit is throbbing." Serena said as she got out of bed and went into the bathroom. Serena was just about to put her hands down her knickers when there was a knock at the door.  
"Serena let me in." Bernie said as she knocked gently on the door. Serena open the door and Bernie pushed her inside and locked the door behind herself. Bernie shoved her hand inside Serena knickers again and Serana did the same to Bernie.  
"Fuck me please Bernie I need to come so bad."  
"So do I." Serena drove 3 fingers inside of Bernie and began making love to her. Bernie did the same to Serena.  
"Yes just there Serena. Make me come."  
"Oh I will don't you worry about that. Serena smirked and she began making love to Bernie even faster.  
"Harder Bernie please."  
"Serena yes." Bernie said as she came all over Serena's hand. It didn't take long for Serena to come either. Serena put her head back on the wall as she came.  
"Oh god I thought that was never going to happen."  
"Me either. I love you so much."  
"I love you too." Serena said as she kissed Bernie. "Let's get back into bed eh.  
"Yes please I don't think I can stand much longer."  
"I want to spend the rest of my life with you Serena." Bernie said as they laid back down in bed."  
"I want that too." Serena said as shuffled closer to Bernie.  
"Serena."  
"Yes."  
"Will you marry me again."  
"You want us to get married."  
"Yes I want us to get married. I want to do this properly again. I love you. So will you marry me. Will you be my wife yet again."  
"Yes yes yes yes." Serena said as she kissed Bernie between every word. "I love you too. Of course I will marry you. And this time it's going to be forever."  
"You bet your life it is." 


	23. I have two mums

"Mummy wake up it's morning."  
"Oh Emily."  
"Can we go to Sealife Centre today" Emily said as she threw herself on Serena.  
"Emily let me open my eyes first please."  
"Come on Mummy get up."  
"Emily why don't you go and brush your teeth while Me and mummy come round a bit first." Bernie said.  
"OK."  
"Thank you." Serena said as she snuggled into Bernie’s side.  
"It's OK. Thank you for last night."  
"The pleasure is all mine. It's just a shame we couldn't do it in the comfort of a bed."  
"Let's hope Emily wants to sleep in here tonight with Kate and Matt eh."  
"Why fancy a repeat performance go you."  
"Oh yes." Bernie said as she kissed Serena and began to run her hand up Serena's leg.  
"Are you two still in bed. Come on you two get up."  
"Ok OK." Serena laughed as she reached out and grabbed hold of Emily and chucked her onto the bed and started to tickle her.  
"No Mummy please I'm ticklish."  
"I know you are." Serena laughed as she started planting little kisses on Emily's face. Emily put Serena's face in her little hands. And kissed her on the nose.  
"So you want to go to the sea life centre today do you."  
"Yes can we please."  
"On one conditional."  
"What."  
"Give me a big hug." Emily threw her arms around Serena's neck and squeezed her tightly. "I love you so much baby girl."  
"I love you too mummy. You won't ever leave us like Alfie did will you mummy." Bernie looked at Serena and shrugged her shoulders.  
"Not for a very long time sweetheart. Not till I am an old lady. And you are older with kids and maybe grandkids of your own." Serena said as she started to cry.  
"Emily why don't you go next door and see if Matt and Kate are awake yet. Bang on the door really loud. You don't want to just walk in on them in a compromising position."  
"OK."  
"Did you have to say that."  
"What."  
"I don't want to think that my daughter is next door having sex thank you very much."  
"Serena she is 18 she is a grown woman."  
"I don't care if she is 8,18 or 88 she is will always be my little girl."  
"I know she will mine too am only messing. When are we going to tell the girls that we are getting married again."  
"Lets get Alfie's funeral on Thursday out of the way first yes."  
"Your not having second thoughts are you."  
"No of course am not. I can't wait to be your wife again."  
"Me either."  
"Come on we better get dressed before she dives on us yet again." 

"Right we are off the Pleasure Beach." Kate said as they finished breakfast.  
"OK love have a good day. Here take this." Serena said reached into her purse and gave Kate some money.  
"I don't need that mum we have got money."  
"I don't care just take it please."  
"OK thank you. See you all. Later. Have a good day Emily."  
"You too see you. Can we go now too."  
"Yes come on let's go." When they got out the B&B Bernie reached down and held Serena's hand in hers. While Emily trotted off in front.  
"Emily don't go too far ahead will you."  
"No mummy. Can we go up there later."  
"You want to go up the tower."  
"Yes momma can we."  
"If you want to."  
"I think you can buy tickets to all the attractions at the sea-life centre." Serena said. "Am sure we did that before didn't we."  
"I think so yeah."  
Once they paid for the tickets Emily ran off in front through the doors.  
"Emily come here." Serena said angrily.  
"What mummy."  
"Do not run off like that it is very busy in here you stay by me momma alright."  
"Yes mummy." Emily said with tears in her eyes.  
"Was there any need for that."  
"I don't want her running off on her own. I have already lost child I'm not about to lose another." Serena snapped.  
"Come on Emily let's look at these other here." Bernie said as she took Emily's hand.  
"Mummy is angry with me isn't she."  
"No darling she just doesn't want you getting lost that's all."  
"I get it she doesn't want to lose me like she has Alfie."  
"That's right."  
Serena lagged behind Bernie and Emily for a while till Emily turned around and walked the few steps to Serena and took her hand in hers.  
"I am sorry for running off mummy."  
"And I'm sorry for shouting at you my darling." Serena said as she kneeled down to face Emily. "I just that."  
"I know why it's alright. I will hold you or momma's hand from now I promise."  
"I know you will. Let's go look at the shark's shall we."  
"Yeah come on." Emily said as she dragged Serena to where the sharks where. "Mummy look at the size of that shark its massive."  
"It is isn't it."  
"Can I just go have a closer look please."  
"Go on just don't wander off stay where I can see you please."  
"I will."  
"She's not going anywhere Serena." Bernie said as she put her arm around her shoulders.  
"I know." Serena smiled as she put her head on Bernie’s shoulders as they watched Emily. 

"Do you know that fish there is more dangerous than the shark." a little boy said who stood at the side of Emily.  
"Yes I did I can read you know."  
"Sorry. You're not from around here are you."  
"What makes you say that."  
"You sound way too posh."  
"Am not posh. But your right am not from round here. Are you.  
"Yeah I live here."  
"I wish I lived here. I would come here everyday."  
"I come most weekends I just love it. Where do you live."  
"Holby."  
"Did you have a long drive down here then."  
"Yeah it took nearly six hours. My mummy and momma took it turns driving."  
"Your mummy and your Momma."  
"Yes."  
"You have two mums."  
"Yes why have you got a problem with that. Cause if you are going to say something rude or nasty then don't bother cause I have heard it all before."  
"No I wasn't I swear. I think it's cool to finally meet someone like me."  
"What do you mean."  
"You see those two men over there holding hands sat on that bench."  
"Yeah so what."  
"That's my daddy and my dad."  
"You have two dads."  
"Yes."  
"Cool. Those two women over there that have their arms around each other."  
"The blond one and the dark haired one."  
"Yeah that's my Mummy and my Momma."  
"They look nice."  
"They are, there the best."  
"Looks like she has found a friend." Serena said as Emily waved to her.  
"It doesn't take her long does it wherever we go."  
"No.  
"Lewis makes friends easy too." a man said.  
"So the handsome little devil is yours is he." Serena laughed.  
"Guilty." Said the other man."Where his dad's."  
"And were Emily's mums."  
"Hi. He drags us here most Weekends but it keeps him quiet so it's worth it."  
"Mummy can we go get something to drink please I am thirsty."  
"Of course we can. Are you going to say goodbye to this young man first."  
"By Lewis, nice to meet you."  
"You too Emily, enjoy the rest of your holiday."  
"Bye." 


	24. Have I got a daddy

"You two sit down I will get us all a drink."  
"OK." Serena said as her and Emily sat down at a table.  
"Mummy."  
"Emily.  
"I haven't got a dad have I."  
"Not exactly a dad no. But more of a donor."  
"A donor."  
"Yes they donated there erm."  
"Sperm." Bernie said as she sat down.  
"Yes thanks for that darling."  
"What's Sperm."  
"It's what a man has inside him that makes babies when a man and a woman make love."  
"So did mummy make love to a man."  
"No no no nothing like that. Momma and me we went to a clinic where men donate their Sperm. So people like me and momma can have children. Do you understand."  
"I think so. So can we go to the tower when we have this drink please."  
"Course we can." 

"I think we handle that conversation quite." Serena, said as they make there way to the tower.  
"You mean I did you couldn't even say the word sperm at first."Bernie laughed.  
"Alright alright. It's not easy having these sorts of conversations with your kids it's hard."  
"It was funny is what it was."  
"Stop it. Serana laughed." Emily do you want to go to the circus first."  
"Yes please mummy."  
As they got in the lift to go to the top of the tower. Bernie put her arm around Serena's waist.  
"Do you remember that time me and you got stuck in that lift." Bernie whispered in Serena's ear.  
"I'm not likely to forget am I. We had the best sex ever that day."  
"You were wild there was no stopping you."  
"You were just as bad thank you very much." Serena said as Bernie put her hand on her bum. Serena look at Bernie and kissed her softly on the lips. When the lift stopped they got out and made there way into the circus. The circus started and Emily was loving it Serena kept looking at her daughter and smiling. Then the trapeze artists came out and Serena turned and looked at Bernie.  
"Close your mouth please." Serena whispered in her ear.  
"What you on about."  
"You your jaw is nearly touching the floor. Put a scantily clad woman in front of you and you turn to mush."  
"Don't talk daft she isn't a patch on you."  
"Oh yeah."  
"Yeah i mean she may have OK body I suppose."  
"Keep going."  
"But yours is so much better."  
"Hardly I have had 3 kids remember I bet she hasn't had any. That's why she looks like that."  
"Stop that you are perfect to me and you know why."  
"Why."  
"Because it's my children you gave birth to. You are my children's mum. And that's why you will always be more beautiful than all the other women in thel world to me." Bernie said with tears in her eyes. Bernie looked at Serena and she had tears in her eyes as well.  
"I love you." Serena whispered as she put her head in Bernie’s shoulder.  
"I love you too gorgeous." 

"What are we doing now." Emily said as they left the tower.  
"Back to the the B&B my feet are killing me. Serena said." We can go back have shower then come back for something to eat OK. "  
"OK. Will Kate and Matt be back."  
"Here take my phone and ring her."  
"Hi Kate we are going to back to the B&B now where are you. OK we you in a bit."  
"Well."  
"They have just got back."  
"OK let's go then." 

"We are going home tomorrow." Serena said later that night when they were in bed.  
"Yep it's gone quick hasn't it."  
"Yes back to reality tomorrow. I can't believe 4 days we have to say are final goodbyes to Alfie."  
"I know I am dreading it too."  
"Do you think we could go and see him again before Thursday."  
"Are you sure you want to."  
"Yes I want to see." Serena said as she started to cry. "I want to see my little boys beautiful face one more time before we have to say goodbye."  
"I will ring the funeral directors when we get back and ask them OK."  
"Thank you. You will come with me won't you.  
" Of course I will. Where you go I go."


	25. Home time

"Right I think that's everything." Bernie said the next morning as they packed everything up.  
"Am going to pop next door and pack Emily things up for her."  
"Ok."  
"Morning you 3." Serena said as she went next door to the other bedroom.  
"Morning mum."  
"Morning Serena."  
"Morning Emily." But Emily didn't answer. " What up with her."  
"She hasn't hardly spoken a word since she got up."  
"Is her things packed up."  
"Yes I did it last night."  
"You go get your mom and go for breakfast we will down in a minute OK."  
"OK."  
"Am I not getting a hug ofo you this morning." Serena said as she sat at the side of Emily on the bed.  
"No."  
"Why not what's the matter with you. Come on tell me what is wrong."  
"I don't want to go home."  
"Why not."  
"Because when we go home we have to say goodbye to Alfie don't we." Emily cried.  
"Yes we do baby."Serena said as she put her arms around Emily." Were all dreading it baby but we will all be together for Alfie won't we."  
"I miss him Mummy."  
"So do I sweetheart. I miss him so much." Serena sobbed.  
"I even miss his tormenting me and picking on me. I wish he would come back and do it again."  
"We will never forget him Emily. He will always be a part of our family no matter what."  
"OK."  
"Let's go get some breakfast shall we."  
"Yes I love you mummy."  
"I love you more than you will ever know." 

After breakfast they all put their things in the car and set off for home.  
"Has everyone had a good time." Bernie said as she started to drive off. "  
"Yes we have."  
"It's been great." Matt said.  
"Mummy."  
"Yes."  
"If you and momma go and see Alfie again tomorrow can I come with you."  
"I don't think so baby it's not really the place for kids."  
"But I want to say goodbye too."  
"You can you can say goodbye to Alfie on Thursday like everyone else."  
"It's not fair."  
"Emily I am not even going to see him so just let it drop will you." Kate said. "Mum and Mom have got enough to cope with in the next few days without you kicking off."  
"Alright Kate that's enough." Bernie said.  
"Am sorry mummy."  
"It's OK baby.  
"Sorry Kate." she said with tears in her eyes.  
"Come here." Kate said as she out her arms around her. "It's ok i'm sorry for shouting at you." 

"Emily has nodded off in the back here mum."  
"Has she."  
"I'll wake her up."  
"No don't wake her I will carry her in and out her on the sofa." Matt said.  
"Are sure she is heavier than what she looks." Serena said.  
"It's fine." Matt lifted Emily gently out the car and took her in the house.  
"Our daughter has found a good un there hasn't she."  
"Yes she has. Come on keys go I could murder a cup of tea."  
"Come on."  
"Are you going to ring the funeral directors up and see we can come tomorrow before they shut." Serena said as they say down with a cuppa.  
"Yes I'll go do it now."  
"Mum I have out Emily's things and some of mine in the washer." Kate said as she came into the lounge.  
"Thanks darling you didn't have to do that."  
"It's OK. I am going over to Matts now for a bit OK."  
"OK love see you both later."  
"Bye Serena that's for a great weekend."  
"Your welcome and thanks for having Emily in with you for a bit."  
"Your welcome see you later."  
"Well what did they say." Serena said as Bernie came into the room."  
"They said they wouldn't recommend it."  
"No I need to see him Bernie I need to."  
"I told them that and they said if you really want to see him they will have him ready for about 11am in the morning."  
"Good."  
"Serena are you really sure you want to go and see him."  
"I need to. I need to see my little boys face one more time." Cried Serena.  
"OK OK." Bernie said as she ouled Serena close to her. "

The next morning Serena and Bernie pulled up outside the funeral directors.  
"Are you sure about this." Bernie said as she held Serena's hand as they walked to the door.  
"Am sure. If you don't want to come in I will go in by myself."  
"Am coming in with you."  
"Good."  
"Hi i rang yesterday about coming to see Alfie again."  
"Of course follow me." The funeral director said as she led them through to the room. "He is just in there I will leave you in peace."  
"Thank you."  
"Hi Alfie its mum." Serena said as she put her hand on Alfie's hand. "We have just come back from Blackpool yesterday. You used to love it there remember. Oh Alfie I miss you so much." Serena sobbed. Bernie went up to coffin and put her arm around Serena. But she didn't look in the coffin. "Give him back to me Bernie please." Serena cried.  
"I wish I could sweetheart. I wish I could. Am sorry Serena I can't do this I will wait outside the door for you." Bernie said as she ran out the door.  
"Your mom is not as tough as she makes out is she Alfie. I will soon be with you sweetheart not long to go now." 


	26. I can't do this

"I can't wait to be with you Alfie. 3 more days and we can be together again forever." Serena cried as she kissed Alfie on his head. "I will see you soon my gorgeous boy. I love you.See you soon." Serena said as she kissed Alfie one more time and went to look for Bernie. "Are you alright."  
"Yes am sorry Serena I just couldn't do it." cried Bernie.  
"It's OK. Come on let's go home." 

Two days later.  
"Emily are you dressed." Bernie said as she went in her Bedroom.  
"Yes momma."  
"Right go downstairs and sit with Kate and Matt. While I go and see if mummy is ready."  
"Alright."  
"Serena are you nearly ready people will be arriving soon." Bernie said as she knocked on the bathroom door.  
"Nearly." Serena said as she took another swag of gin out of the bottle. "I won't be long I will come down in a minute alright."  
"OK."  
Serena took another swag of gin and then put it in a water bottle so people would think it was just water. Then she popped it in her handbag. Just get today over with Serena and tomorrow you will be back with him she thought as she looked through the mirror.  
"Are you alright mum." Kate said as Serena walked down the stairs.  
"Am OK. Are you alright."  
"Not too bad at the minute but that will probably all change when I see the Hurst pull up."  
Serena have Kate a hug.  
"We are her for each other just remember."  
"I will. I'll get that mum." Kate said as she opened the door. "Hi Paul come on in mate."  
"Thank."  
"Paul." Serena said quietly as she gave him a hug. "Thank you for coming."  
"I had to come. I miss him so much Serena."  
"I know. Come through and sit down." Hi Lucy. "Serena said to Pauld mum."  
"How you holding up."  
"Shit if I'm honest with you. How has Paul being."  
"Very quiet this is the first time he has been out of the house since it happened."  
"I will have a chat with him later."  
"Thanks." 

The house began filling up with family and friends. Then the dreading Hurst turned up.  
"Mom it's here."  
"OK where's your mum."  
"I thought she was with you."  
"Go get Emily and Matt and go sit in the car. I will get mum."  
"OK."  
"Serena it's time sweetheart." Bernie said as she found Serena in the garden.  
"Am coming." She said as she took a mouthful of the gin. "Just having a drink of water."  
"OK let's go say goodbye to our boy eh." Bernie said as she took Serena's hand in hers.  
"If we must." Serena and Bernie walked hand in hand down the drive to the roadside. Serena stopped dead and looked at hurst with the coffin in it.  
"I don't think I can do this Bernie. I can't say goodbye."  
"We have to."  
"I can't I just can't."  
"Mummy come on I will sit next to you and hold your hand." Emily said as she got out of the car and took Serena's hand. "I will look after you mummy."  
"Thank you." Serena said as Emily led her to the car.  
Serena never took her eyes off the Hurst in front all the way to the crematorium. 

When they got out the car. Ric came up to Serena and gave her a hug.  
"You know we all love you don't you," he said.  
"Yes."  
"We are all here for you whenever you need us alright."  
"Thank you." Serena said as Bernie put her arm around her waist and kissed her on the cheek.  
"Are you ready." The vicar said. "  
"As ready as we'll ever be."  
The music started to play as they all walked into the crematorium.  
"I would like to welcome you all here today to celebrate the life of Alfie Wolfe who was tragically taken from us too soon." On behalf of Alfie's family his mum Serena and mom Bernie and two sister Kate and Emily I would like to thank you all for coming today. Alfie liked nothing more than to play football and video games with his friends, especially his best friend Paul.  
The rest of the service was a blur to Serena as she wasn't really listening all she could of was it will be mine next. One more sleep Alfie and we will be together again she thought to herself. 


	27. See you soon

When the service was over the family walked up to the coffin and said goodbye.  
"Goodbye Alfie rest in peace buddy." Matt said.  
"I love you brov." Kate said as she kissed the coffin.  
"I miss you Alfie. Love you." Emily said as she took Katie's hand and walked away.  
"Goodnight sweetheart. I love you." Bernie cried as she held onto to Serena as she thought she was going to fall.  
"Am alright Bernie. I love you my gorgeous boy. Sleep well. See you soon" she whispered.  
They all left the crematorium and hugged and thanked people for coming.  
"Are you ready to go." The funeral director said.  
"Yes I need a drink."  
"Let's go." 

"Large Shiraz please." Serena said as she got to the bar. "Bernie want do you want.  
"Just and orange please.  
"3 oranges and bottle of lager please."  
Serena took her drink and went outside. Emily followed her outside.  
"Emily go back in I am just having a cig I won't be long."  
"OK."  
Serena knocked the wine in one go."  
"Wow looks like you were ready for that." Fleur said.  
"I was. Have you got a light a can't find my bloody lighter."  
"Yes here you go."  
"Thanks."  
"You did really well today."  
"Thanks."  
"If you ever want to talk you do know that I am always here for you don't you."  
"I know you are thanks."  
"Try not to get too drunk this afternoon."  
"Too drunk I plan on getting absolutely legless."  
"What's that going to achieve.  
"Oh don't you start you sound as bad as Bernie." Serena said as she put her cig out and walked back inside and went back to the bar. Fleur followed her in and went straight up to Bernie.  
"I think we need to keep an eye on Serena because she is knocking the wine back like there is no tomorrow. She has just said she is going to plastered."  
"Thanks I will go have a word with her."  
"Another large Shiraz please."  
"Serena I think you need to slow down on that don't you."  
"No I don't I have just had a lecture from Fleur and I don't need one from one from you. Just leave me alone."  
"Mummy."  
"What."  
"Can we eat soon I'm hungry."  
"Sure I will go and tell the woman at the bar to open buffet."  
"OK." Emily saw the bottle in Serena's bag and took it out. She was just about to open it when Serena snatched it out of her hand.  
"What do you think you are doing."  
"I was just having a drink of your water. I was thirsty." She cried.  
"You don't go in mummy's bag ever again do you hear me."  
"Serena don't shout at her like that. She was just getting a drink. Here darling." Bernie said as she took the bottle off Serena and gave it to Emily.  
"No she can't have that." Serena shouted as she took it back.  
"Why it's only water."  
"It isn't water it gin."  
"Gin. You have been drinking out of that all morning. What are playing at Serena."  
"Don't do this now Bernie."  
"Oh don't worry we will be having words when we get home. Come on Emily let's get you something to eat." 

"Mum come in and get something to eat."  
"I'm not hungry."  
"So your just going to sit out here and get drunk are you."  
"Got it in one Kate."  
"Mum please you have to stop this. Please have a coffee or a tea."  
"Do not tell me what to do. I am the adult here Kate not you." She snapped.  
"Well start acting like one then. You are going to end up ripping this family apart." Kate shouted as she walked off.  
"What have you said to Kate she is years in there."  
"And all of a sudden it's my fault is it."  
"You know as well as I do it is."  
"Go back inside and leave me alone."  
"Why are you doing this."  
"Why, why take a look around you Bernie we are at a funeral our sons funeral."  
"Don't you think I know that."  
"He shouldn't be dead he should be at home with us. Or playing football in the park across the road with Paul and his mates. He shouldn't be dead."Serena sobbed.  
"Come here."  
"No I don't want you to touch me. In fact I don't want you anywhere near me. When we get home I want you to pack your things and leave."  
"Serena your upset and drunk. You don't know what your saying."  
"My mind is clear as a bell. I don't want you."  
"I love you Serena."  
"Well I don't love you. I have just been kidding myself these past few weeks."  
"You don't mean that."  
"YES I DO."  
"Well I don't believe you. I am not going anywhere Serena."  
"Will you just go." Serena said as she started hitting Bernie in the chest.  
"I'm not leaving you."she said as she grabbed Serena's arms." You need help and I am going to make sure you get it."  
"I don't need help. I just need my son" She cried as she put her head Bernie’s shoulder. "I just want my son."  
"Oh Serena. You can't carry on like this like. Why don't we go home and we can talk properly yes."  
"OK." 

"Kate I am going to take your mum home. I think she has had enough for one day."  
"Do you want us to come with you."  
"No it's alright you and Matt stay here. Come on Emily we're going home."  
"I want to stay with Kate and Matt. I don't want to go anywhere with mummy." Emily said as she glared at Serena.  
"I that alright Kate."  
"Yeah fine."  
"See you all later."  
"Bye momma."  
"Bye sweetie. Come on you hometime."  
"Did you see how Emily looked at me. She hates me doesn't she."  
"Come on, let's go." Bernie said as she led Serena out of the pub.  
"I am just nipping to the toilet I won't be minute." Kate said as she stood up. "  
"Are you alright darling."  
"Am OK, just watch Emily for me."  
"Matt."  
"Yes Emily."  
"Why doesn't mummy love us anymore."  
"Come here Emily." Matt said as he patted the chair at the side of him. "Your mummy does love you very much."  
"Then why did she shouted at me and and Kate. When we were only trying to help her."  
"Because your mummy is upset and when people are upset they say and do things they wouldn't normally do."  
"I think she loves Alfie more than she loves us."  
"That's not true and deep down I think you know that. She loves you all the same."  
"Am scared Matt."  
"What you scared for."  
"I think mummy is going to do something to hurt herself so she can be with Alfie."  
"I don't think she would do that."  
"I do. I don't want my mummy to die." 


	28. You need help

"You sit there on the sofa while I make you a strong coffee." Bernie said as they got home.  
"I would rather have a Shiraz."  
"Tough Shiraz is off menu. It's coffee or tea only. So what is it gonna be."  
"Coffee."  
"Right stay here."  
Serena laid down on the sofa and closed her eyes. Please just take me I am ready to go, she thought.  
"Here coffee."  
"Thanks." Serena said as sat up.  
"I wish you would talk to me Serena."  
"I have nothing to say."  
"I will tell you what I think then shall I. You are determined to hurt yourself. You don't care about your other 2 children at all do or me for that matter do you. Stop me if I am wrong. No I will carry on then shall I."  
"NO stop you are so wrong. You don't understand how I feel."  
"Then tell me."  
"I can't. You will only get mad with me." she cried.  
"I promise I won't. I just need you tell me what going in that beautiful head of yours Serena. Just tell me PLEASE."  
"I WANT TO DIE."  
"I won't let you."  
"You won't have much choice."  
"What about the kids Serena."  
"They will be better off without me."  
"How can you say that. You know how much them girls love you especially Emily."  
"Did you not see how she looked at me before we left. That was not a look of love Bernie. That was a look of hate my little girl hates me." she sobbed. "And I would rather just not be here then have my kids hate me."  
"They don't anyway you get that out of your head because you aren't going anywhere."  
"Oh I am. This time tomorrow I will be with Alfie."  
"No no you won't."  
"Yes I will everything is in place. There is a letter in my bedside draw for you. Everything is in there. My funeral arrangements it's all paid for, and a copy of my will. So you don't have to worry about anything."  
"You mean only saying goodbye to the love of my life."  
"You will soon forget about me and find someone else."  
"I don't want anyone else can't you see that." Bernie cried as pulled Serena closer to her. "I have loved you since the first minute I saw you. And I always will. I can't live with you Serena."  
"And I can't live without my son. Bernie please please let me go." Serena said as she stood up.  
"Where you going."  
"To lay on the bed."  
"No no I am not letting you out of my sight not now."  
"I am not doing it today. Stop worrying. I need to say goodbye to the kids properly first. I need to do this right Bernie."  
"None of this is right Serena. I won't let you go."  
"You haven't got much choice."  
Serena walked upstairs and went into the bedroom. She took the medication she had got together and put it in the bottle of water beside her bed. She took all the letters and placed them on the bed. There was one for Bernie, Kate, Emily and Matt. She kissed everyone of them as she cried. She picked the bottle up and took the lid off. He goes Alfie I will see you soon my gorgeous boy. Serena lifted the bottle to her lips and closed her eyes. 

"I don't think so." Bernie said as she took the bottle from Serena's shaking hand ran into the bathroom.  
"No you can't do that. I need that Bernie."  
"I need you. I won't let you leave me Serena."  
"Please don't pour it down the sink."  
"That's the only place it is going to be poured.." Bernie said as she began tip it down the drain.  
"NO BERNIE." Serena screamed "It took me ages to get that together."  
"Tough your not going to leave me. I won't let you. You are my life Serena Wendy Campbell. The two years I had to live without you where the worst two years of my life. I never want to live without you again." Bernie cried as she put her head to Serena's.  
"I don't know what to do anymore. I have constantly got things going round in my head. I just can't seem to switch off. I know you love me and I love you I do. And the girls I can't put into words how much I love them I really can't. But being with my son is all that matters right now."  
"You need help."  
"No I don't I just need to go."  
"I have already told you I am not going to let you do that. I have been looking at this place online. They can help you." But Serena looked away. "Serena look please."  
"Alright I will look. There satisfied."  
"Look properly Serena for God sake this is important." Serena snatched the phone From Bernie.  
"Look nice for a nut house."  
"They can help you."  
"I am not nuts Bernie."  
"I never said you were nuts. But you do need help darling. You can't carry on like this."  
"You want me to go there."  
"Yes I do."  
"No way."  
"Serena look at me." Bernie cried as she took her face in her hands. "I just want the old Serena back. The one I fell love with all those years ago."  
Because I do love you Serena so much more than you will ever know. I need you to go to this place and get help. Will you do it for you, me and our daughters please."  
"You and our daughters mean everything to me. I love you all I really do. I'll do it I will go."  
"Thank you." Bernie cried as she held onto Serana both of them sobbing. "Thank you."  
"Your right I need to do something don't i"  
"You do you really do. Let's go downstairs and ring them up shall we."  
"Yes come on." 

"Right that's that sorted then."  
"They can take me today."  
"That's what they said."  
"I want to see the girls first. Will you tell them to come home please."  
"Course I will. I will text now and tell her."  
"Am scared Bernie."  
"There is nothing to be scared of. They are going to help you. They are going to get you better sweetheart."  
"You will look after the girls won't you."  
"You know I will."  
"Is that Kate."  
"Yes they are booking a taxi now to bring them back."  
"Good good. I better go and pack some things then."  
"I will come with you."  
"You don't need to I can manage."  
"I am coming to help you."  
"Thank you." 

"Mum we're back." Kate said as they came through the door.  
"We're in the lounge."  
"What going on."  
"Kate come with me a minute." Bernie said as she led Kate into the kitchen. With Emily following. "No sweetheart you stay here with mummy want to talk to you."  
"I don't want to stay with mummy."  
"Emily she just wants to talk you ok."  
"OK."  
"Come here baby."  
"No."  
"Please am not going to shout at you I promise."Serena said as she walked closer to Emily." Am so sorry I shouted before. I was just upset."  
"I know."  
"Can I have a hug please." Emily wrapped her arms around Serena and squeezes her tightly. "I love you so much baby girl. I never want you to be scared of me. Am sorry I hurt you it will never happen again I promise."  
"I love you too mummy."  
"I am going to go away for a while."  
"No I don't want you to go away."  
"I need to sweetie so I can get better. I will come back I promise. But I need to do this so we can all be happy again."  
"What about momma."  
"Momma will look after you and Kate."  
"I'm gonna miss you mummy.  
"I'm gonna miss you too sweetheart." 


	29. I'll do anything

"Mum am so sorry I shouted at you." Kate said as she ran into the lounge and threw her arms around Serena.  
"It's OK sweetheart. I'm sorry too."  
"Mom says you are going away to get help."  
"Yes I'm going today. I need to get better Kate. I can't carry on like this can I."  
"No. We don't want to lose you mum. We all love you so much."  
"I love you all too angel. I will be soon back to my old self before you know it."  
"We better get going Serena."  
"OK. See you soon sweetheart."  
"Bye mum. Look after yourself."  
"I will. Emily come here baby."  
"I don't want you to leave me mummy."  
"I don't want to leave you either. But I have to go. You will be able to come and visit me."  
"Will I momma."  
"Of course we all will."  
"I love you mummy."  
"I love you too. See you soon. You look after Kate for me won't you Matt."  
"You know I will."  
"You're a good lad. See you later."  
"Bye take care."  
When Serena got to the front door she looked back round at her daughters.  
"Am sorry for everything I have put you all through. I hope you can all forgive me."  
"We already do mum."  
"Let's go Serena."  
"OK see you guys."  
"Bye mum."  
"MUMMY." Emily shouted as she ran down the drive and ran into Serena's arms. "You will come back to us won't you."  
"I promise I will. I'm not going to leave you baby. I will be coming back."  
"I just want you to get better mummy."  
"I will. Go back inside love. I will see you really soon alright." She said as she kissed Emily.  
"Bye mummy love you."  
"I love you." 

"Are you alright." Bernie said a little while later.  
"Yes sorry I was just thinking."  
"About."  
"Everything. What's going to happen when I get there."  
"There going to help you that's what's going to happen."  
"If I don't like it can I come home."  
"Course but I would rather you stuck it out. I need you to get better."  
"I know and I will."  
"Well this is it. I'll get your bag out the boot."  
"Thank you."  
"You ready."  
"As I'll ever be."  
"Let's go in then."  
"No wait."  
"What's wrong." Serena grabbed Bernie’s face and kissed her lovingly and rested her head on Bernie’s.  
"I love you so much Berenice Griselda Wolfe. You know that don't you."  
"I know. And I love you too I always have and I always will."  
"You won't."  
"I won't what."  
"You won't go with anyone else while I'm in here will you."  
"No I would never do that. I love you too much ever cheat on you Serena. You and the kids are my world."  
"And your mine." She cried.  
"When you get out of here and you are well again we can start to plan our wedding."  
"I'd like that a lot."  
"Let's do this eh.  
"Yes am ready." Serena smiled as she took Bernie’s hand in hers and walked up to the door. 

"Hell can I help you."  
"Yes my names Bernie Wolfe and this is my wife Serena Campbell. I rang earlier about my wife coming in ."  
"Of course do come in. My names Kim."  
"Hi Kim."  
"I will just get the manager."  
"Thanks."  
"It's quiet in here."Serena said as she held Bernie’s hand tighter.  
"Did you expect it to be noisy" A voice said behind them.  
"Yes I guess I did."  
"It's OK you don't need to look so nervous. I take it your Serena."  
"Yes that's right."  
"I'm Elaine the manager."  
"This is my wife Bernie."  
"Ah you're the one I spoke to earlier."  
"Yes."  
"Come through to my office. Kim would you take Serena's bags to her room and unpack it please. Its number 11.  
"Yes course."  
"I can unpack it myself."  
"We do that just to make sure you haven't bought anything you shouldn't.  
"Please be careful with that bag. It's got photos of my family in it."  
"I will don't worry."  
"Follow me please. Take a seat. Can I get you a tea or coffee."  
"No thank you."  
"Am fine."  
"I would just like to ask you a few questions if that's alright Serena."  
"OK."  
"How do you feel Serena."  
"Like I don't want to be here anymore."  
"Why's that."  
"Because 3 weeks ago my… our son was killed."  
"Am sorry to hear that. How old was he."  
"15. I just can't believe he has gone. I just want to be with him."  
"You want to take your own life."  
"Yes."  
"She nearly did today I caught her just before she drank a cocktail of medication. That's why I rang you. To get her help."  
"Tell me Serena if Bernie hadn't of stopped you would you have drank it."  
"Yes." Serena nodded. Bernie put her head down and started to cry. "Please don't cry Bernie please. I won't try it again."  
"But you would have if I hadn't stopped you. How do you suppose I would have told Kate and Emily eh."  
"I don't know. I left letters explaining everything."  
"Well that's OK then isn't it. Your mum has killed herself but it's OK because she has left you letter." Bernie shouted.  
"Don't shout at me."  
"Calm down please. Bernie shouting at Serena isn't going to help matters."  
"You watch the person you love most in this world try and take her own their own life and see if you can control your anger."  
"I can understand you have both had a rough couple of weeks but you have done the right thing bringing Serena here."  
"How long will I be here for."  
"Its a 3 months programme."  
"3 months. No no I can't be away from my family for 3 months. My daughters need me. Come on Bernie let's go home." Serena said as she stood up.  
"No Serena you need to stay here.  
"But 3 months Bernie. I can't not see you or the girls for 3 months."  
"Your family will be able to come and visit you anytime they want to after the first month."  
"The first month. I don't like this Bernie." Serena said as she began to shake with her sobbing.  
"You can do this Serana. Me and girls will visit you as soon as we can."  
"Serena you can ring home whenever you want to. We have a phone you can use.  
"I have my mobile."  
"No mobiles allowed I'm afraid. You will have to give your Mobile to Bernie to take home."  
"OK here."  
"Thanks."  
"Right let's take you through then shall we. You will have to say goodbye now am afraid. I will give a minute."  
"Come here."  
"I'm going to miss you." Cried Serena as she held Bernie rightly.  
"I'll miss you too. Promise me you will do what they tell you. Take all the help they can give you."  
"I will."  
"Really cause I know how stubborn you can be Campbell."  
"I will do everything. I just want to be home with you and the girls again. Don't forget to get Emily to read her school book to you every night will you."  
"I won't I promise."  
"Your gorgeous do you know that."  
"So are you."  
"Are you ready Serena."  
"Am ready. I love you."  
"I love you."  
"I'll ring you tomorrow."  
"OK."  
"I'm sorry for everything."  
"Don't be sorry just get better."  
"I'll try. Bye."  
"Take care." Serena took one last look of Bernie and blew her a kiss before being led away. 


	30. Nice to meet you

Serena was led through a locked door on to a nice looking unit.  
"This is where you will be staying. I'll introduce you some of the staff. This is Tracey she is the senior on duty today. Tracey this Serena Campbell she has just arrived she will be staying in room 11."  
"Nice to meet you. Don't look so worried where not that bad here."  
"Am sorry I'm just scared."  
"You'll be fine we will take good care of you."  
"This is lounge where some people sit during the day. This is Carol. Leanne and jo some of our carers on duty  
here today. Ladies this Serena Campbell she has just arrived today. If you need anything at all you just tell them."  
"Nice to meet you Serena."  
"You too."  
"Carol would you like to show Serena to her room it's 11."  
"Yes sure follow me."  
"Carol."  
"Yes."  
"The girl who was sat in the lounge doesn't look very old.  
"She isn't she is just 17 years old."  
"17 my eldest daughter is older than her."  
"This is your room. Everything has been unpacked for you."  
"Thanks."  
"Is this your family." Carol said as she picked up a picture.  
"Yes that's my wife Bernie. My eldest daughter Kate my youngest daughter Emily and and my son Alfie. She cried.  
"Am sorry I didn't mean to upset you."  
"It's fine. We have just lost my son hench why am I here really."  
"Am sorry to hear that. You have a beautiful family Serena."  
"I know I do. They mean everything to me."  
"That's something to get better for then isn't it."  
"Definitely."  
"I leave you to settle in. Do you want a drink or anything."  
"No ta."  
"If you need anything at all just buzz."  
"Thank you Carol."  
"No problem."  
Serena picked the picture back up and held it close to her chest and went to lay on the bed.  
"Am sorry I didn't keep promise Alfie. I nearly did but mom stopped me." she said as she closed her eyes and cried herself to sleep. 

"Can I come in."  
"Yes."  
"Hello Serena am Suzanne I am the night nurse tonight."  
"Tonight what time is it."  
"8.15pm."  
"Is it I must have nodded off.  
"You must have needed it."  
"I guess I must."  
"Are you coming to the lounge for supper."  
"Am not really that hungry."  
"You slept through tea. Come and try and eat a little bit yes."  
"I'll try."  
"Can I call home first I want to talk to my little girl before she goes to bed."  
"Course you can. You can use the office."  
"Thank you so much."  
"It's 9 to dial out.  
"Cheers."  
"Hello."  
"Bernie."  
"Hello gorgeous. Are you alright."  
"One of the carers has just woken my up for supper I fell asleep."  
"You must have been tired."  
"Is Emily still up."  
"Yes do you want her.  
"Yes please."  
"Mummy is that you."  
"It is baby are you alright."  
"Yeah momma said I have to go bed soon."  
"You do what momma tells OK."  
"I will. Is it OK in there."  
"It's not too bad. The people that work here are nice. Is Kate there."  
"No she is staying at Matts tonight."  
"Alright. I love you baby."  
"Love you."  
Goodnight sweetheart. "  
"Night mummy."  
"Put momma back on now."  
"Hi sweetheart. Are you alright in there."  
"So far."  
"Have you spoken to anyone yet."  
"Only the workers. They all seem nice enough. Its the night staff that are on now. I am going to see if one of them will take me out for a cig in a bit."  
"OK. I will ring you again tomorrow if I can. Goodnight sweetheart."  
"Goodnight beautiful speak to you tomorrow."  
"You will. Bye."  
"Bye." 

Have you finished.  
"Yes thank you for that. Is there any chance I could have a cig."  
"As soon as supper has finished I take all the smokers out for a cig if they want one."  
"OK thank you."  
"Take a seat and I will get you some supper." Serena walked into the lounge and stood at the door looking round.  
"You can sit here next to me if you want. Said the young girl who Serena spoke about before.  
"Thank you."  
"Your welcome. My names April."  
"Serena."  
"Your new here aren't you.  
"Yes I came in today."  
"For how long."  
"3 months."  
"That's all I was here for to begin with."  
"To begin with."  
"Yes I did 3 months and then went home and tried to take my life as soon as I got out. So my mum and dad fetched me back here. I have been here for 6 months now."  
"Wow that's a long time."  
"Do you work."  
"Yes I'm a doctor and a Consultant General Surgeon."  
"There you go ladies your supper.  
"Thank you."  
"A Surgeon bloody hell you must be brainy."  
"I suppose I must be."  
"Are you married."  
"Divorced but I recently got back together with my wife and we're hoping to get married again when I am feeling better."  
"Kids.  
"3 two girls Kate is 18 and Emily who is 8 and a boy Alfie 15.My son died 3 weeks ago that's kinda why I am here really. Am not coping with it very well at all."  
"Sorry for your lose."  
"That's why I am in here too. I lost my gran we were so close. It was very sudden. I thought my life had ended."  
"You and me both. Is it OK in here."  
"Honestly I would rather be here then at home."  
"Really."  
"Yes. All the staff are just wonderful. Carol if my favourite though."  
"I met her today she seems nice."  
"She is they all are but Carol is fantastic. We should stick together you and me I think you're alright"  
"I'd like that. I think you're alright too." 

"Who wants a cig then."  
"Every bloody body" a women who was sat in the corner piped up.  
"Calm down Doris. Come on then."  
"You smoke too."  
"Yes not very good of a doctor I know but hey ho."  
"I better ring mum when I get back in to bring me some fags when she comes tomorrow."  
"I can give you some to put you on if you want."  
"Thanks but I should have enough to last me."  
"Do the carers always have to bring us out for cigs."  
"No only at night. 8 at night till 8 in the morning a carer has to take you."  
"OK."  
"So why are you here." Doris said.  
"Back off Dozza that's none of your business. You know we aren't allowed to tell each other that."  
"I know why your here it's because you are a frigging fruit loop."  
"Am warning you bitch back off.  
"April let's go and sit over there shall we."  
"OK.  
"Oh she speaks and she's posh as well."  
"Am warning you leave Serena alone."  
"Serena her names Serena.  
"Pack it in Doris." Suzanne shouted.  
"She's even got a posh name."  
"That's it your dead." April said as she took a swing at Doris but Serena grabbed her arm and stopped her.  
"Don't do it. Come on let's go other there."  
"I fucking hate that bitch. This is a private hospital she is only here because the government is paying for her."  
"Don't rise to her. Thank you for sticking up for me but I am big enough and ugly enough to stand up for myself."  
"Ugly your not ugly. I think you are very pretty."  
"Thank you so are you."  
"How long has she been here that Doris."  
"Two months I'm hoping she won't be here much longer. I hate her."  
"I can see that. Serena smiled.  
"No one likes her. I don't even think the carers like her all that much. If she ever gives you any trouble just tell me I will sort her out for you."  
"Dont be getting yourself into trouble for me."  
"It will be worth it just to smack her one."  
"I think I am quite of smacking her one myself." Serana laughed.  
"Nice one. I think me and you are going to get on just fine."  
"So do I."  
"Have you finished ladies."  
"Yeah."  
"Right am going to go to my room and put get undressed for bed. See what's on the TV."  
"Titanic is on in a bit."  
"Is it."  
"Yeah."  
"I'll watch that then."  
"I'm watching too. I'll tell you what why don't you watch it with me in my room with me."  
"You sure."  
"Yes I'd like the company of I'm honest."  
"OK what number is yours."  
"15."  
"Ok I'll just stick my pj's on and then I will come over OK."  
"Great see you in a minute."  
Serena went into what was going to be her bedroom for the next 3 months and saw Doris liking up her photos.  
"Put then down NOW." she shouted as she walked up to her and snatched it from her hand. "Don't you ever touch me things again get out.  
"Alright your ladyship keep her hair on.  
"Ladyship what the hell are you talking about."  
"You know like royalty. Well your posh aren't you."  
"No am not posh."  
"You sound posh."  
"I thought I told you to get out."  
"Are there your kids."  
"Yes."  
"There beautiful."  
"Yeah they are."  
"Your lucky having a boy i lost my boy 4 months ago."  
"I lost mine 3 weeks ago."  
"You didn't."  
"I did."  
"Shit isn't it."Doris said as she sat on the bed.  
"I've never felt pain like this in my entire life."Serana cried as Dores put her arm round her shoulders.  
"Me either that's why I tried to top myself."  
"Me too but my wife stopped me. I just want to be with him it's all I think about."  
"How did he die if you don't mind me asking."  
"He was killed someone ran him over. He didn't stand a chance."  
"Mine was killed too stabbed."  
"Am sorry.  
Looks like you me and have more in common than we thought."  
"It would seem so."  
"Doris pleased to meet you.  
"Serena nice to meet you too." she said as they gave each other a hug. 


	31. Medication

"Get away from her." April said as she walked into Serena's room.   
"April it's alright we were just talking. Seems like me and Doris have more in common than we first thought."   
"Like what."   
"Can I tell her."   
"Yes."   
"Doris has lost her son too. That why she is here."   
"And you believe her."   
"Who would she lie about something like that."   
"Am not lying April. This is him." Doris said as she pulled a photo out of her pocket and gave it to April.   
"He looks so young."   
"He was 17. He was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. She cried.   
"Am sorry Doris." April said as she sat at the side of her held her hand.   
"We should all stick together and help each other through this." Serena said. "What do you say April, Doris do you think we could all try and get on and be there for each other."   
"Yes the 3 musketeers eh."   
"Who." April said.   
"Your too young to remember them." Doris laughed. Let's just say they were always there for each other. "  
"What do you say April."   
"Am up for that."   
"Good. As seen as where all in my room now we may as well watch the film in here."   
"What's on."   
"Titanic do you want to watch it with us."   
"Hang on a minute." Doris said as she ran out the room."  
"Where's she going."   
"God knows."   
"You can't watch a movie without popcorn can you." Doris said as lifted the biggest bag of popcorn Serena have ever seen up in the air.   
"Great, Well stick the TV on then April make yourself useful." Serena laughed.   
Doris laid across at the bottom of the bed while April sat at the top with Serena with her head on Serena's shoulder. Serena put her arm around her and held her close. For a minute she imagined it was Kate who was cuddling up to her.   
"Are you 3 alright in here." Suzanne said.   
"Yes we are just watching a film."   
"You two might be but April has fallen asleep."   
"I wake her up when it's finished."   
"I'll leave you to it then."   
"She looks like butter wouldn't melt laid there asleep on you."   
"She's not a bad kid I don't think. She just had problems like the rest of us. Why did you two not get on."   
"I think we both just built this wall up so no one could hurt us. As soon as we see each other we would just clash."   
"Well not anymore I hope. We can all help each other. We are all in the same boat here." 

"Right I am off to bed." Doris yawed when the film ended. "Do you want me to wake her up."   
"No i'll do it it's fine."   
"OK, see you in the morning for breakfast. I will save you both a seat at my table."   
"Thank you, Goodnight Doris."   
"Night Serena. Am sorry I was a bitch with you earlier."   
"Don't worry about it it's all forgotten. Sleep well Doris."   
"You too Serena."   
"Come on sleepyhead time for bed."   
"Mmm what time is it."   
"Nearly 12."  
"Sorry I nodded off."   
"Don't worry about it it's fine."   
"I think me and you are going to get along just fine."   
"So do I. And don't forget Doris."  
"I won't goodnight Serena."   
"Goodnight April."   
"Serena can I have a hug please."   
"Of course you can come here." Serena said as she held April close. "Sweet dreams April."   
"You too Serena, see you in the morning."   
"You will." 

Serena woke up the next morning and picked up the picture of her family she had put at the side of her bed. She traced everyone's face with her finger and she could feel the tears rolling down her face.   
"Come in." As she tried to wipe the tears away.   
"Morning Serena." Suzanne said. "There's a cup of tea here for you."   
"Thank you."   
"Right I'm off home now. I will see you tonight."   
"See you tonight. Will I be able to use the phone please before breakfast."   
"Yeah sure come with me."   
"Thanks."   
"You can use anyone of these phones here you don't have to ask you can use them anytime you want."  
"Thanks."   
"Hello." A little voice said.   
"Hello baby." Serena smiled   
"Mummy. Are you alright."   
"Am fine sweetheart. Are you ok."   
"Yes, I miss you mummy."   
"I miss you too baby so much. Is momma there."   
"Yes I'll put her on."   
"I love you Emily."   
"I love you too mummy."   
"Hi beautiful."   
"Hello you. It's so good to hear your voice."   
"And yours. Are you alright there."   
"Yes I met two women yesterday. We all watch the Titanic in my room last night."   
"Swapped me already have you."   
"Don't be daft. One of them is only 17. She had been in here for 6 months this time."   
"This time."   
"Yeah she did 3 months. Then they let her home and then she tried to take her life so her parents sent her right back."   
"Bless her. And who's the other one."   
"Doris she lost her son too 4 months ago. They didn't get on but i think i have got them both talking.”  
“That's good am glad you are getting on with people. How are the staff.”  
“Nice. Suzanne one of the night nurses is really nice. She is on again tonight.”  
“That's good then. I miss you Serena.” Bernie cried.  
“I miss you too i can't believe i have got wait 4 weeks before i can see you or hold you.”  
“I can’t wait to hold you arms again.”  
“Me either. Look i better go i need to get a shower and get dressed before breakfast. I will ring you tonight alright.”  
“Ok i love you.”  
“I love you see you later.”  
“Bye.”

“Serena over here.” Doris shouted as Serena walked into the dining room.  
“Morning you two.”  
“Morning.”  
“There is cereals over there you just help yourself.”  
“Oh right i won’t be a sec.”  
“April am sorry for giving you such a hard time and the things I said to you.”  
“It’s ok i'm sorry too.”  
“Did you sleep alright Serena.” Doris said as Serena sat back down.  
“Yes like log.”  
“Morning Ladies. April here's your medication.”  
“Thanks Carl.”  
“Are you Serena Campbell.”  
“Yes that's tight.”  
“Hi i'm Carl i am the nurse on duty today.”  
“Hi.”  
“Here you go there's your medication.”  
“what .”  
“Your medication.”  
“I don’t want any medication thanks all the same.”  
“The doctor has prescribed them for you.”  
“I don’t care, I don't want them.”  
“Ok it’s your choice.”  
“Yes it is.”  
“There you go Doris that's yours.”  
“Thanks.”  
“Is everyone on medication in here.”  
“Most of us there antidepressants.”  
“I figured that much.”  
“You should have them they help.”  
“No thanks I'll do this my way.”


	32. I want to go home

1 week later

"How was your talk with the psychologist today." Doris said as they ate they tea.   
"Not bad. Where's April."   
"She said she had a headache and was going to lay on her bed for a bit."   
"We'll go check on her when we have finished in here."   
"Yes."   
"Have you done."   
"Yes.   
"Let's go and see if April is OK then shall we."   
"Hold on I will just get her some of her this pudding she loves chocolate sponge."   
"OK."   
"Right am ready. This will cheer her up."   
"Am sure it will." 

"April." Serena said as she knocked on the door. "April it's Serena and Doris are you feeling any better."   
"Maybe she's asleep." Doris said as Serena walked closer to her.   
"April APRIL no no no." Serena cried as she began to shake her. "Doris go get some help tell them we need an ambulance NOW." Serena saw a tablet in her mouth. So she put her finger in her mouth and got it out. She put her in the recovery position. "What have you done this for this eh. Come on sweetie wake up. It's Serena oh April.   
"The ambulance is on its way Serena we'll take over from here."   
"Am not leaving her. Besides am a doctor I can help."   
"And your also a patient I can't let you help."   
"I took this out of her mouth."   
"That's her medication that we give her."   
"Well how has she got a hold of them."   
"Probably been storing them instead of swallowing them." Serena said.   
"Right what's her name."   
This is April she is 17 years of age overdose of antidepressants."  
"Can I have room in here please."   
"You two are going to have to wait outside."   
"Am not leaving her." Serena cried.   
"Carol take these two out of here please."   
"For fuck sake." 

"How much longer are they going to be in there." Doris said.   
"As long as it takes." Serena put her arm around Doris.   
"She can't die she just can't."   
"They will be doing everything the can to help her. Look." Serena said as they brought April out on a trolley. "April you just make sure you come back to us alright." Serana said as she kissed her on the head.   
"Let's go." The ambulance man said.   
"Shall we go get a cup of tea."   
"I've got to get out of here." Serena said as she ran down the corridor.   
"Serena wait where you going."   
"Am going home I shouldn't be here." Serena said as she started packing her bags.   
"You can't your not well."   
"No April isn't well I am perfectly fine. I don't belong here. I belong with my family."   
"Am going to get some help."  
"I DON'T NEED HELP." Serena shouted as she started throwing things around the room.   
"Serena you need to calm down." Carol said as she walked into the room.   
"I don't need to calm down. I need to go home. I just want to be with my family." Serena said as she sank to the floor and sobbing.   
"Alright it's alright." Carol said as put her arms around Serana and gave her a hug.   
"I want Bernie. I want to see her." she cried.   
"Doris stay with her a minute will you."   
"Yes sure."   
"I can't stay here Doris am sorry."   
"Shush it's alright." 

"Hello."   
"Hello is that Bernie."   
"Speaking."   
"Hi this is Carl from the unit where Serena is staying."   
"Hi."   
"In was wondering if you could come in and have a word with Serena she has trashed her room and she begging to see you."   
"I will be there as soon as I can."   
"Thank you."   
"Serena I need you take these tablets for me please."   
"How many more times have I got to tell you I DON'T WANT ANY TABLETS ." Serena shouted as she threw a vase against the wall.   
Serena if you carry on like this I might have to section you. "  
"Fuck off just leave me alone."   
"Serena what's going on."   
"Bernie oh Bernie." Serena cried as she ran into Bernie’s waiting arms.   
"Hey baby what's wrong."   
"Take me home. I don't want to be here anymore."   
"You need to be here Serena."   
"No I just need to be with you. Kate and Emily." Serena said as she started kissing Bernie’s face.   
"Can you leave us alone for bit please."   
"Sure. Doris come on." Carol said.   
"That one of your new friends then."   
"Yes April the young girl has taken an overdose today. They have taken her to hospital. She is probably dead by now."   
"You don't know that."   
"You didn't see the state of her Bernie. Please I am begging you take me home."   
"I can't you know that."   
"If you loved me you would."


	33. Please take me

"You know how much i love you."  
"Then take me home please. I want you hold me while I sleep. Like you do every night."  
"I want that too. But I want you to get better. What's to say if I take that home that won't try and harm herself again."  
"I won't I promise. I want to be with you and our beautiful daughters. I miss you all so much. I have never been away from my kids for this long before. I don't like it Bernie please just take me home."she cried.  
"Let me just go talk to someone alright."  
"OK." 

"Serena are you alright. Doris said as she came into the room.  
"I'm going home."  
"You are."  
"Well I hope so."  
"Where's Bernie now."  
"Gone to talk to someone."  
"Do you really think she will take you home."  
"I want her to. It was a mistake me coming here."  
"What about me and April."  
"If fingers crossed April is alright. We can write to each other and I can come and visit you both. Then when you get out. We can meet up."  
"Your just saying that. People say they will keep in touch but they never do."  
"Am not just saying that  
I mean it." Serena said as she held her hand. "You don't get rid of me that easily."  
"I don't want to get rid of you. I have never had a friend like you before. I care about you Serena."  
"I care about you too. Where is Bernie she has been gone ages." Serena said as she started to pace the room.  
"Don't kick off again please calm down."  
"Where is she."  
"Am here." Bernie said as she walked into the room.  
"Where have you been. You have been gone ages." Serena said as she held Bernie’s hands.  
"I've been talking to the manager."  
"You are taking me home aren't you."  
"On one condition."  
"Go on."  
"You have to come back here every Monday for your meeting with the shrink as you call it."  
"I will. So that's it i can go home. I can see my girls and hold them both in my arms."  
"Serena if you do anything and I mean anything to hurt yourself. If you shout at the kids for nothing at all. I will bring you back here and I will leave you here till you are better. I mean it Serena."  
"I know you do. I will do anything as long as I can be with you and our girls."  
"Let's go home then shall we."  
"Yes please."  
"I'll get your bags. You go goodbye to Doris."  
"OK." 

Serena walked Doris room and knocked on the door. "Doris."  
"Your going home aren't you."  
"Yes but i have to come back every Monday for my meeting."  
"I won't see you though will I."  
"I will come and visit you I promise." Serena said as she wiped a tear that fell down her cheek.  
"You better."  
"Come here." Serena said as she gave her a hug.  
"Am gonna miss you."  
"I'll miss you too. I better go See you soon."  
"Go be with your family."  
"Bye if April comes back. You will still look out for her won't you."  
"I will"  
"Good see you Doris."  
"Bye." 

"Will we be back for when Emily finishes school." Serena said as they made their way home.  
"You could always come and pick her up with me."  
"I'd like that. I can't wait to see her."  
"Well go straight to the school then."  
"I won't let you or the girls down."  
"I hope not." Bernie said as she pulled up outside the school just as the bell rang. "Come on, let's wait at the gate."  
"I wish she would hurry up I just want her in my arms."  
"You know she's always the last one out."  
"I can see her." Serena said as she walked through the gate. "EMILY." she shouted.  
"MUMMY, MUMMY." Emily shouted as she ran into Serena's waiting arms. "Mummy." She cried.  
"Oh my baby I have missed you so much." Serena cried as she peppered Emily's face with little kisses.  
"I've missed you too mummy. I thought you had to stay in the hospital for 3 months."  
"I couldn't do it baby. I couldn't stay away from you. Kate and momma for all that time."  
"Are you better now."  
"No she's not." Bernie said.  
"I feel better just seeing you sweetheart. I love you so much Emily."  
"I love you too."  
"Let's go home shall we."  
"Yes, Mummy can I read my book to you when we get back."  
"Emily mummy has to rest."  
"It's fine really. Course you can read your book to me."  
"Thank you mummy."  
"Serena I will be watching you like a hawk you know that don't you."  
"I know. I won't let you down."  
"You better not. Because I won't hesitate in dragging you back there."


	34. What are you doing here

"Mummy will you sit in the back with me please."   
"Course I will hop in." Serena said as she climbed in beside Emily and she quickly held Serena's hand.   
"Emily have you got your seatbelt on."   
"Yes Momma."   
"Let's go home then shall we."   
When they were driving home Emily turned round and stroked Serena's face with her little hand. Serena put her arm around Emily as the little girl snuggled her side.   
"I've missed you so much mummy."   
"I've missed you too baby."   
"You won't leave me again will you."   
"I won't leave any of you ever again I promise."   
"Not unless mummy doesn't do something stupid that is." Bernie said.   
"Am not going to do anything like that again. When will you believe me Bernie."   
"When you prove it to us."   
"I will I mean it." 

“Kate Kate looks who’s here.” Emily shouted as they walked in the door.  
“Mum.”  
“Hello my darling girl.” Serena said as she held out her arms but Kate stayed where she was.  
“What are you doing here you're supposed to be getting help.”  
“I couldn’t stay there any longer I missed you all too much.”  
“Your not better though are you. You have only been there a week.”  
“Kate please.”  
“No mum have you any idea what we would have gone through if mom hadn’t have caught you that day. We would have lost you too.”   
“Not in front of Emily. Kate.”  
“No mom Emily needs to hear this. She needs to know just how sick mum really is.”   
“Kate i promise i won’t try anything like that again.”  
“And were just supposed to take your word for that are we.”  
“”Kate mum has promised me she won’t be trying that again.”  
“And what if she does mum. What if she tries it again and succeeds this time how are going to live with yourself knowing you brought mum back here to kill herself.”  
“Mummy isn’t going to die are you mummy.” Emily cried  
“No darling am not. I mean it Kate i am not going to leave you. You 3 are my world.” Serena cried.  
“Stop it now Kate you're making mummy cry” Emily said as she cuddle Serena.  
“Do you want me to go back Kate cause i know you don’t want me here.”  
“Of course I want you here mum. It’s just want my mum back. My mum who i can have a laugh and joke with. My mum that nags at me to clean my room up cause it’s a tip. My mum who after this time still can’t make a meal without burning it. I don’t want to have to ask you where you go or what you doing just in case you decide to hurt yourself. I just want my mum back.” Kate sobbed. Serena walked to Kate and wrapped her arms around and held her close. “I love you so much mum i can’t bare to lose you.”  
“I love you too beautiful. Your not going to lose me i swear. I will still be going to my meeting on Mondays.I will still be getting help. I just don’t want to be away from you 3. I missed you all too much.”  
“I missed you too mum.” 

“How are kids.” Bernie asked Serena as she got into bed.”  
“There ok i think i hope. Bernie.”  
“Yes.”  
“Hold me.” Serena cried.  
“Come here. Everythings gonna be ok now isn’t Serena.”  
“I promise. I’ve missed being in your arms.”  
“I’ve missed holding you in my arms.”  
“Bernie can i ring the unit tomorrow i need to find out how April is.”  
“Sure you don’t have to ask to use your phone. Your not in there now.”  
“I want to marry you Bernie.”  
“I want to marry you too. But not until you are feeling up to it.”  
“I love you.” Serena said as she kissed Bernie.  
“I love you too.”


	35. let's spend the day together

"Morning did you sleep alright." Bernie said as woke up and found Serena staring at the ceiling.  
"Yes the best sleep I have had in a long time.”  
“How long have you been awake.”  
“About an hour. I have just been laid here thinking.”  
“About.”  
“Kate and how she was with me yesterday. I don’t think she will ever trust me again.”  
“She will it will just take time. Like the rest of us.”  
“What about you. Will you ever forgive me and trust me again.” Serena said as she turned to face Bernie.  
“I wouldn’t have brought you home if I didn't.”  
“I won’t let you down i won’t let any of you down.”  
“I know you won’t.”  
“I was thinking about taking Kate out for the day today. For a bit of shopping and a spot of lunch and a chance for us to talk properly. What do you think.”  
“I think it’s a great idea.”  
“You do you don’t mind.”  
“Why should i mind.i thinks it’s just what you need. I will drop you off and pick you back up when you have finished if you want.”  
“Thank you.” Serena smiled as she kissed Bernie. I’ll go and ask her now.”  
“And I better get Emily up for school.”

“Kate are you awake darling.” Serena said as knocked on her door.  
“Yes come in.”  
“Morning.”  
“Morning.”  
“Can i sit down.”  
“Cause you can.” Serena laid down beside Kate and put her arms around her and held her close.  
“I know I have a long way to go before you trust me again Kate but I will do it I promise.”  
“I know you will mum.”  
“How would you like to do something today just me and you.”  
“What did you have in mind.”  
“Well i thought we could go shopping have some lunch and talk.”  
“Just us.”  
“Just us.”  
“What does mom think.”  
“She thinks it’s a great idea. So what do you think.”  
“I’d like that a lot.”  
“So would i.” Serena smiled.  
“Oh mum i love you so much.” kate said as she pulled Serena closer.”  
“And I love you more than you will ever know.”

“Emily if you have finished your breakfast go brush your teeth and get your shoes on please. Bernie said as they all sat around the table.  
“Do i have to go to school, I want to stay with mummy today.”  
“I will still be here when you get home.”  
“Anywhere you can’t stay here with mum cause me and mum are going out for the day.” Kate said as she smiled at Serena.  
“Can i come too.”  
“No you are going to school. Now go teeth and shoes young lady.” Bernie said.  
“It’s not fair.” Emily said as she stormed off.  
“LIFE ISN’T FAIR” Bernie shouted.  
“I better go and get dressed them i won’t be long mum.”  
“Ok no rush. I better go get dressed myself.”  
“Come here.” Bernie said as she pulled Serena onto her knee. “I’m glad i brought you home.”  
“So am i.”  
“I missed you so much. I never want to be apart from you again.”  
“You won’t be. This is it now Wolfe me and you and our girls forever.”  
“Thank god. Alfie will always be a part of this family even though he isn't here anymore.”  
“I know.” Serena said as she choked back her tears. “I will never forget about my beautiful boy.”  
“None of us will. If you ever want to talk about him then talk about him. Tell me what you are feeling don’t ever keep it in.”  
“I won’t. I love you.”  
“I love you too. Now give me a kiss.”  
“Anytime.” Serena said as she wrapped her arms Bernie’s neck and gave her a loving kiss.  
“Am ready momma.”  
“Ok let's go then.” Bernie said as Serena got off Bernie’s knee so she could stand up. “I won’t be long.”  
“Ok. Emily come here and give me a hug.”  
“Bye mummy see you later.”  
“Bye baby have a good day. I will buy you something.”  
“Will you.”  
“Yeah.”  
“Bye.”  
“Oh Emily.”  
“Yes.”  
“I love you.”  
“I love you mummy.”

“Where’s your mum.” Bernie said as she walked in the kitchen.  
“Getting ready she won’t be long.”  
“How long has she been up there alone.”  
“About 30 minutes.”  
“And you haven’t been up to check on her.”  
“Mom I thought we were supposed to be trusting her.  
“She’s got a long way to go yet Kate.” Bernie said as she started running up the stairs but stopped when she saw Serena stood at the top. “Wow you look nice.”  
“Thanks i thought i would make an effort, have a shower wash me hair put a but if slap on.”  
“You look beautiful.”  
“Do i.”  
“Yes but then again you always look beautiful to me.”  
“What even my pajamas.”  
“Especially in your pajamas.” Bernie smiled as she kissed Serena. “Are you ready to go.”  
“Yes i just need you to move do i can get downstairs.”  
“Sorry.” Bernie said as her and Serena walked downstairs.  
“I just need to get my handbag out of the lounge.”  
“I’ll get it mum.”  
“Thank you.”  
“I want you and Kate to have a really good day today.”  
“So do i. We need this i think.”  
“There you go mum.”  
“Thanks. Right than Kate let’s shop will we drop.”


	36. We've bought too much

"Where do you want dropping of." Bernie said as they reached the shopping centre.  
"Anywhere here darling thanks."  
"Right well have a good day and ring me when you are ready to be picked up."  
"I will."  
"See you later mom."  
"Have fun love."  
"Thank you." Serena said as she reached over and held Bernie’s hand.  
"For what."  
"Letting me come home. I love you."  
"I love you gorgeous. You two have a good day."  
"See you later." Serena said as she kissed Bernie and got out of the car.  
"Bye babe."  
"Were to first mum." Kate said as she put her arm in Serena's.  
"Anywhere you want."  
"Primark."  
"I knew that was coming. Come on Primark it is." 

I want some new bra sets out of here."Kate said as they walked into Primark." Matt has seen nearly everyone I own. "  
"Do I need to know that." Serena said.  
"Mum am 18."  
"I know. But you will always be my little girl."  
"I know." Kate smiled. "I want to always be your little girl."  
"Good."  
"Oh that's nice mum and so you."  
"A leopard print bra and thong really."  
"It's so you. You love your leopard print. Besides Mom's jaw would drop to the floor if she saw you in that."  
"I don't think so Kate. Where not teenagers anymore. And besides, my body has given birth to 3 kids. It's not that good anymore."  
"Don't talk stupid. You have got a great body."  
"Do you think."  
"Absolutely chuck it your basket."  
"Hang on I don't even know if it's my size."  
"It is your size mum. I know what bra size you. Just put it in your basket"  
"OK its in." Serena laughed.  
"Good."  
Nearly 2 hours later they left Primark loaded with bags.  
"Do you think we bought too much in there." Kate said.  
"Nah where to now."  
"Let's go for a coffee and talk yes."  
"OK." 

"There you go." Serena said as she handed Kate her coffee.  
"Thanks mum."  
"So you want to talk do you."  
"I think we need to."  
"Ok."  
"You go first. From the beginning."  
"When we lost Alfie it was thought my world had fallen apart. I'd never felt pain like that before in my entire life."  
"Don't you think we were in pain too."  
"I knew you were but don't take this the wrong way. It is different for me. I gave birth to him. He was my little boy. Just like you and Emily are my little girls. The love a mother has for her kids is so strong. You'll understand more when you hopefully have kids of your own."  
"Tell me how you felt the day mom stopped you from killing yourself."  
"You don't need to know that."  
"I do I want to try and understand."  
"No it will only upset you."  
"Am a big girl now mum. It's alright just tell me." She said as she put her hand on top of Serena's.  
"I didn't want to be here anymore, all I could think about was being with Alfie. It was as if nothing else mattered."  
"So me, Emily and mom didn't matter."  
"Of course you did but my mind was all over the place. It still is. But I am determined to beat this Kate. I will always love and miss Alfie. But I want to be with you, Emily and mom. That's all I want."  
"We all love you so much mum."  
"I love you all too."  
"Let's go do some more shopping."  
"I want to go Build a bear am going to get one for Emily."  
"Come on, we will go there next mum." 

"Bloody hell have you two left anything in the shops." Bernie laughed as she open the boot for them.  
"A little." Kate said as she gave her bags to Bernie and got in the car. "  
"I take it you have both had a good day."  
"Yes we have. Give us a kiss."  
Serena said as Bernie smiled and leant forward bringing their lips together. "I have got something for you."  
"You have huh."  
"Yes and if you don't like it it's Katie's fault she told me to buy it. She said it would make your jaw drop to the floor."  
"Let's see then."  
"Not here you need to see it on to get the full effect ."  
"Can't wait let's get home then."  
"Mummy did you buy me something." Emily said as soon as Serena sat in the car.  
"What happened to hello mummy."  
"Sorry hi mummy."  
"Hi Emily. And yes I did buy you something."  
"What."  
"You'll have to wait until we get home won't you."  
"Oh mummy."  
Once they were home and all bags were unloaded into the front room. Emily began looking into the bags.  
"I don't think so lady. Come here I want a hug from you first." Serena said as grabbed Emily and pulled her close.  
"Can I have my present now."  
"Yes here."  
"Oh my god it's Simba."  
"It is."  
"Thank you mummy I love it."  
"I thought you would. Right I better take this lot upstairs."  
"I'll give you a hand." Bernie said.  
"Come on Emily you can help me." Kate said. "  
"OK."  
"So are going to put this thing on for me then."  
"I thought I might make you wait till tonight."  
"Your such a tease Campbell." Bernie said as she put her arms around Serena's waist. "  
"Lock the door then." 


	37. I love you

"Serena hurry up am getting impatient here."   
"All good things come to those who Berenice. I have been having a shower first. Are you ready.   
"Am ready come on I want to see you."   
"OK here goes." Serana said as she opened the bathroom door. Bernie just couldn't take her eyes off Serena. "Say something for God sake you're making me nervous. You don't like it do you."   
"Are you kidding me. You look stunning. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen Campbell. Get over here." Bernie said as she reached out and took Serena's hand and brought her closer to her. "I am one lucky woman."   
"I'm the lucky one. I love you so much Bernie Wolfe."   
"I love you too." Bernie said as she kissed Serena passionately. As she kissed her she out one of her hands down the front of the Serena's knickers.   
"Oh God Bernie please I need you."   
"I need you too."   
"Make love to me please." Serena moaned as Bernie laid her down on the bed.   
Bernie pulled down Serena's thongs and and entered her with 3 fingers.  
"Oh God yes Bernie.I need to feel you too." Serena said as she slipped her hands inside Bernie’s shorts and began to make love to her. They both could feel there orgasams building. "You feel so good." Serena moaned.   
"So do you please don't stop Serena am gonna come."   
"Me too." They both screamed each others names as they came.  
"I've missed you." Bernie said as she kissed Serena.  
"I've missed you."   
“Kate was right about that bra set.”  
“I take you approve.”  
“Oh yes."  
"Good old Primark."  
"You got it from Primark.   
"Yes. "  
"You can shop there more often." Bernie smiled as she kissed Serena." I'm so glad brought you home."  
"So am I." 

"I take it the bra set went down well then." Kate whispered into Serena's ear as she washed the pots.   
"How would you know."   
"Am not deaf mum."   
"Kate."   
"Oh Bernie, Oh Serena." Kate laughed.   
"Stop it." Serena laughed as she went bright red.   
"What you two laughing at." Bernie said. "  
"Nothing." They both said at the same time.   
"I'm going to Matt's for a bit."   
"Alright love see you later."   
"Bye behave you two." Kate laughed.   
"We will."   
"What was all that about."   
"Nothing really. Come here and give me a cuddle."   
"Absolutely." Bernie said as she wrapped her arms around Serena and hug her tight.   
"Do you fancy a dvd, popcorn and a cuddle on the sofa tonight."   
"I'd like that a lot. I will go run a bath for Emily. And then jump in the shower myself and get my pj's on."   
"OK. Give me a kiss first."   
"Soppy." Serena smiled as she kissed Bernie softly. "I love you."   
"And I love you." 

"Emily come on it's time for bed darling." Serena said as she woke Emily up.   
"Am not tired."   
"I see then why were you asleep."   
"I wasn't I was just resting my eyes mummy."   
"Yes course you were. Come on give momma a kiss goodnight."   
"Night night momma."   
"Night sweetheart. Sweet dreams. Love you."   
"Love you momma night."   
"Come on up the wooden Hill you." Serena said as she took Emily's hand and walked upstairs. She tucked Emily in bed and kissed her on the cheek. "Goodnight baby I love you."   
"I love you too mummy night."


	38. Kate

"Who was that on the phone."   
Serena said as she came back in to the lounge from taking Emily to bed.   
"Kate she is staying at Matt's tonight."  
"Bernie do you think they are you know."   
"You mean doing it."  
"Yes."  
"Well they are young adults. They are probably at it like rabbits."  
"Don't say it like that.   
"Well they probably are. Remember when we first started going out. We couldn't keep.our hands off each other.   
"I know but she's our daughter it just feels wrong somehow."   
"Serena she is nearly 19. She is a young woman now."   
"I know that. Oh I don't know part of me just wants her stay my little girl."  
"What are you gonna be like when Emily your baby starts dating then."   
"Well I've thought about that and she isn't aloud a boyfriend or a girlfriend until she's 30."   
"That's that sorted then." Bernie laughed.   
"It's not funny i'm being serious." Serena said as she tried not to laugh.   
"Oh Serena you make me laugh."   
"Am so glad you find all this so funny."   
"Shut up and come here." Bernie laughed as she pulled Serena close to her. "I bloody love you Campbell."   
"I love you too." 

3 weeks later

"So how was your meeting ." Bernie said as Serena got into the car.   
"Fine."   
"Mummy."   
"Yes darling."   
"Momma took me to five guys's for dinner."   
"Did she now where's mine. You know they are my favourite."   
"Here we got you a burger. It still feels warm." Emily said as she passed the bag to Serana.   
"Thank you darling. I will eat it when I get home."   
"Did you see April and Doris."  
"Yeah April is doing loads better."  
"Good am glad. Kate messaged she is not coming home again tonight."   
"Again it's been over a week since we saw her. Why didn't you tell her to come home."   
"Serena we have been through this she is an adult."   
"And she is still our daughter. I want her tonight." Serena said as she got her phone out of her bag.   
"What you doing."   
"Ringing her up."   
"Hello mum."   
"Hello is that my daughter Kate."   
"Mum you know it is. What you asking that for."   
"Well it's been that long since I saw you."   
"It's only been a week."   
"I think you'll find it's been closer to 2 Kate. Why are you staying away."   
"I am just spending time with Matt."   
"You spend loads of time with Matt. Kate why are you really staying out of our way. Are you still angry with me."   
"No mum am not."   
"Then why I miss you."   
"I miss you mum."   
"Then come back later. I just want to see you and we can talk properly. And if it's cause you are still angry about me being at home. I will get mom to take me back to the home alright." Serena cried.   
"Mum it's not that. Look I will be home in a few hours OK."   
"Alright."   
"Mum I love you."   
"I love you see you later."   
"I need to go home Matt and tell them everything. Mum thinks I am staying away because I am still mad with her it's not fair on her Matt." Kate said.   
"So what we gonna do."   
"Where going to my house. It's time to face the music."


	39. Are you stupid

"Oh wait a minute I know you yes that's right you're my Kate my daughter." Serena said sarcastically as Kate and Matt walked into the lounge.   
"Very funny mum."   
"Come here and give me a hug then. I've missed you." Serena sighed as she hugged Kate.   
"I've missed you too mum. Where's mom."   
"Just nipped to the shop with Emily she won't be long. How are you Matt your quiet."   
"Am fine Serena are you ok."   
"Fine apart from the fact that my daughter would rather be at your house than here with her family."   
"It's not that mum."   
"Then what is it Kate."   
"Kate your home." Emily said as she ran into the front and threw her arms her.   
"Hello trouble you alright."   
"Yes hi Matt."   
"Hi Em's."   
"So you have remembered where you live have you." Bernie said.   
"We need to talk." Kate said.   
"Too right we do. Serena said." So what is that's making you stay away from your family."  
"Well what it is."   
"Come on spit it out."   
"Am pregnant mum."   
"Your what."   
"Am pregnant."   
"Are you stupid. Your 18 years old you don't want to be tied down with a kid at your age." Serana shouted.   
"Serena calm down."   
"Calm down. What about university your supposed to be starting after the holidays."   
"I can do both."   
"How the hell are you going to go to university and have a baby as well."   
"I am going to take a few years out then when the baby is older I can go to university over here."   
"Don't talk daft."   
"You had me when you were still quite young."   
"I was already qualified though and so was your mom."   
"Me and Matt have spoken about this mum and we are keeping the baby."   
"Well I guess there's nothing more to say is there." Serena said as she stormed out of the room.   
"I'll go talk to her. 

"Serena. "  
"I bloody knew something like this would happen. We should never have let them share the same bed when he slept over here."   
"Serena they would still have found a place to have sex."   
"She is ruining her life."   
"Serena if that's what she wants, we can't stop her."   
"She is not having that baby. She is going to university and she is going to be the best doctor there is."   
"I think they've made their minds up."   
"Over my dead body." Serena said as she walked back into the lounge. "How far are you."   
"Four weeks."   
"You have got plenty of time to have an abortion."   
"Mum you're not listening to me am not getting rid of it."   
"All you have ever wanted to is be a doctor."   
"And I still can be in a few years time."   
"I thought you had more sense than this Kate. Your very quiet Matt cat got your tongue."   
"We haven't made this decision lightly Serena. It's all we have talked about."   
"And what about the financial situation. Kids cost money you know a lot of money."   
"We know that mum. Matt is on a good wage."   
"He got a good wage because he still lives with his mum. It won't feel so good when you have got a mortgage or rent to pay out. Then there's the gas and electric, water, council tax and TV licence. Then there's all the things the baby is going to need."  
"We'll manage." 

"Wait till your mum finds out about this."   
"She knows we told her before we came over here."   
"Oh great so you told his mum before your told your own mums thanks a lot Kate. Bernie are you going to say something or are you just going to stand there like a waxworks from Madam fucking Tussards." Serena shouted.   
"Serena there is nothing to say they have made up their minds they are keeping the baby. Getting angry at them isn't going to help.   
"Kate are you going to have a baby." Emily said as she walked into the lounge.   
"No she isn't."   
"Yes I am Emily."   
"Does that mean I will be an Auntie."   
"NO." Serena snapped.   
"Yes Emily it does. Mum I know your angry with me but I am keeping my baby."   
"And where are you going to live may I ask."   
"Joan said we can stay with them until we find somewhere to live."   
"Good for Joan."   
"Mum please don't be like this." Kate said she walked over to Serena and kneeled down in front of her. "Am gonna need you. A girl always needs her mum when she is pregnant. I thought you of all people would be happy for me." Kate said with tears in her eyes as she tried to hold Serena's hand but Serena pulled away.   
"Well you thought wrong didn't you." Serena said as she went upstairs.   
"Come on Matt we're not going to get anywhere with mum while she is in this mood."   
"Where you going now."   
"Back to Matt's."   
"Kate don't stay here tonight. Your mum will calm down a while."   
"You saw what she was like mom. Mum isn't going to calm down anytime soon. Come on Matt."   
"Kate I'll talk to her alright."   
"OK. See you mom."   
"I love you." Bernie said as she held Kate close.   
"I love you too."   
"Has she gone." Serena said from the top of the stairs.   
"Yes she has. I hope you're pleased with yourself. Because that may be the last time we ever see our daughter."


	40. Please don't go

"What do you mean it might be the last time we ever see her."   
"Well could you blame her after the way you behaved."   
"All I we're doing was trying to make her see sense that's all."   
"No Serena you we're trying to bully her into doing what you want."   
"I wasn't bullying her."   
"Yes you where. You have already lost a son. Do you want to lose a daughter as well." Bernie shouted.   
"Don't you dare bring Alfie into this. How could you. You know how much I miss him." Serena cried.   
"Alfie isn't ever coming back Serena."   
"DON'T YOU THINK I KNOW THAT."  
"But Kate is still here Serena. You can still make it right. Why don't you go round to Matt's and talk to her."   
"What's the point she has made her mind up."   
"Because she our daughter that's the point Serena."   
"I don't want her to have a baby not yet. I want her to go to university and then to medical school."   
"It's not about what you or I want. It's about what Kate and Matt want."   
"They are too young to know what they want."   
"They are nearly 19 and 20 years old they are adults."   
"Who's side are you on."   
"My own. If this is what Kate and Matt wants then I am happy for them"   
"You can't be."  
"Well I am."   
"Why are you shouting." Emily said.   
"I better get the tea on."  
"Mummy why are you angry with Kate."   
"Why don't you go help momma in the kitchen."   
"No I want to know why your so mad at Kate."   
"FOR GOD SAKE EMILY JUST DO AS YOUR TOLD WILL YOU." Serena shouted as Emily ran off crying. 

"Come here sweetheart." Bernie said as she opened her arms to give Emily a hug.   
"What have I done wrong momma."   
"You haven't done anything wrong sweetie."   
"Then why did mummy shout at me."   
"She shouted at me too. Remember what I said about mummy that she still isn't well."   
"Yes."   
"Well she is going to have good days and bad days and today is just a bad day, that's all."   
"Does mummy still love me."   
"Of course I still love you baby." Serena said as she stood at the kitchen door. "I'm sorry I shouted at you."   
"Why we're you angry with me I haven't done anything wrong."   
"I know you haven't. Come here baby."   
"No." Emily said as she hid behind Bernie.   
"Baby am sorry."   
"Your always sorry mummy."   
"I can't seem to do anything right anymore can I." Serena cried as she ran upstairs.   
"Emily you go in lounge and watch TV while I'll go check on mummy."   
"OK." 

"Serena what are doing." Bernie said as she walked into the bedroom and saw Serena packing a suitcase.   
"Am going."   
"Going where."   
"Anywhere but here."   
"Your not going anywhere." Bernie said as tried to grab items out of Serena's hand.   
"Just leave me alone Bernie. Its quite clear I'm not wanted here anymore."   
"Don't be stupid."   
"I'm not stupid."  
"Serena put your things back in the wardrobe."   
"No I'm going I've had enough. Kate hates me. Emily hates me and you probably hate me too."   
"Serena nobody hates you. We all love you."   
"I will come back for the rest of my things later on." Serena said as she zipped up the case."  
"I'm not going to let you do this Serena." Bernie said as she pulled the suitcase out of Serena's hand.   
"Give it back."   
"No your not going anyway."   
"Why scared I might do something to myself."   
"In a word yes."  
"I won't I promised you." Serena said as she held Bernie’s hand.   
"I'm not letting you go Serena I can't."   
"Why it's for the best."   
"It's not the best for me. I adore you." Bernie cried. "I still remember the first time I ever saw you. I had never seen anyone as beautiful in my life. I know right there and then that you were the only one for me."  
"You did."   
"Yes it took me ages to pluck up the courage to go over and talk to you."  
"Why."  
"Why have you looked in the mirror lately. You are gorgeous."   
"So are you. I also noticed you that night but I thought you were way out of my league. My friend kept telling me just go over and talk to you but I didn't dare."   
"It's a good job I plucked up the courage them isn't it."   
"I'm glad you did."   
"So am I." Bernie said as she lent forward and kissed Serena. "Please don't leave me. I can't stand the thought of being without you again."   
"Alright I'll stay."   
"Thank God." Bernie said as she hugged Serena tightly. "I love you so much."  
"I love you too."  
"Please will you go and talk to Kate. She is having our grandchild Serena."   
"I know she is. I'll talk to her."   
"Good."   
"I better go and apologise to Emily first."   
"Go on I'll be down in a minute."  
"Thank you."  
"For what."   
"Loving me."   
"Your very easy to love."   
"So are you." 

"You watching Mamma Mia again." Serena said to Emily as she walked into the lounge. But Emily didn't answer.   
"Baby I am really sorry for shouting at you."  
"Your always sorry."   
"I know I am."  
"I don't like it when you shout at me mummy."   
"I know and I don't like it when I shout at you either baby."  
"Why are you so mad that Kate is having a baby."   
"I just think she is too young that's all. She should be going to university to be a doctor like she has always wanted."   
"She could still be a doctor. You and momma had us and your doctors."   
"We were already doctor's before we had you 3. I just wanted Kate to have a career first before she thought about kids but that's not going to happen now is it."   
"Does this mean you will and momma will be grandma's."   
"It looks like it doesn't it."   
"I thought only old people were grandparents."   
"Sometimes they are."   
"Does that mean you and Momma are old now mummy."   
"Oh don't be cheeky. I'll have you know I am still in my prime. I can't say the same about momma though."   
"Oy I heard that Campbell."


	41. Look after my daughter

"Am sure your mum will come round it's just been a shock for her." Joan Matt's said.  
"I thought she would be happy for us."  
"She will be when the shock wears off."  
"I don't think she will. You didn't see the way she looked at me."  
"I'll get that." Matt said as the doorbell rang.  
"Am sure she will come round just give her time."  
"I have lost her Joan I have lost my mum. She hates me."  
"I don't hate you my darling." Serena said as she stood at the door.  
"We'll leave you to it." Joan said.  
"I love you so much my darling." Serena said as she sat down beside of Kate.  
"Mum am so sorry I have let you down." Kate cried.  
"You could never let me down. It's alright everything's gonna be alright. come here." Serena said as she pulled Kate for a hug. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have said the things I said either. Can you ever forgive me."  
"Of course I can. But I am keeping the baby mum."  
"I know and me and mom will support you every step of the way. You know that don't you."  
"Thank you."  
"Hey I'm going be a Grandma."  
"You are and your gonna be the best Grandma ever."  
"Am going to try."  
"I love you so much mum."  
"I love you too. Will you come home now please. We all miss you."  
"Is it still my home."  
"It will always be your home my darling."  
"Can Matt stay tonight please."  
"Of course he can. So are you going to come home with me."  
"Yes please." 

"KATE." Emily said excitedly as Serena, Kate and Matt walked through.  
"Hi are you alright."  
"Yes is mummy still angry with you."  
"No sweetheart am not." Serena smiled as Bernie put her arm around her waist.  
"So is everything alright."  
"Yes mom me and mum we had a good chat."  
"Thank God for that. Right who's hungry."  
"I am."  
"Emily you are always hungry am sure you've got worms." Serena laughed.  
"Who fancies KFC for tea."  
"Me me. Can we mummy."  
"Yes I will go get it." Serena said.  
"I'll come with you and help you." Matt said.  
"Are you sure."  
"Yes."  
"Alright then let's go."  
"Mummy."  
"Yes Emily."  
"Can you get me a krushem please.  
"Yes." Serena said as she went out the door.  
"Thanks."  
"What's all that about then." Bernie said.  
"Your guess is as good as mine. Maybe he just wants to make sure mum really is OK with this."  
"Maybe. There isn't anything else me and mum needs to know is there."  
"No that's it."  
"Good."

"Out with it then." Serena said to Matt as they drove to KFC.  
"Out with what.  
"Well you haven't come with me just you because you like my company have you."  
"I might." Matt smiled.  
"Yeah right. Spit it out Matt.  
"Alright, well the thing is mum has told me and Kate we can live with her and dad for as long as we want."  
"I know that Kate said earlier."  
"Well the thing is I don't think we would get on all living together. Me and dad don't get on at the best of times. That's why I'm usually at yours."  
"Right the penny's dropped. You want to know if you and Kate can live at our house. Am I right."  
"Yes I mean if you don't want us to."  
"I never said that. We would love to have you move into ours with Kate."  
"Really.  
"Yes really."  
"Do you think Bernie will be ok with it."  
"She will be fine with it trust me."  
"Thank you Serena. I know this isn't what you wanted for Kate."  
"It doesn't matter what I want. As long as Kate is happy that's all I care about. And you make her happy Matt. She loves you very much."  
"I love her too Serena."  
"You just make sure you look after my daughter and my grandchild."  
"I will you don't have to worry about that." 


	42. Hello little one.

2 months later

"Kate are you OK in there." Serena said as she knocked on the bathroom door.   
"Mum come in." Kate cried.   
"Hey what's the tears for."   
"I am just fed up being sick all the time."  
"Being sick is nothing just wait till your ankles start swelling and you can't see them for your bump. Then there's the back ache and the sleepless nights because you can't get comfy. And then when you have it you have the leaking breasts and."   
"Yes yes alright mum I think I've got the gist thanks. How could you do this 3 times. You must be mad. I would have let mom have a go if I was you."   
"I actually liked being pregnant believe it or not."   
"Well I don't. I won't be having another one I can tell you that for nothing."   
"You just wait till you hold your little baby in your arms. You'll forget every bit of pain you've ever felt believe me."  
"What did you think when you first saw me."   
"I thought that you were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my entire life."  
"Did you love us all as soon as your saw us."   
"I did. The rush of love I felt when they placed all my babies in my arms. I can't explain it. You will feel it too when you give birth to this one believe me. I knew there and then that I would do anything for you three." Serena said as she choked back tears.   
"Alfie will always be a part of this family mum."   
"I know he will. Come here and give me a hug."   
"Mum will you come with me to my scan this afternoon."   
"Matt's going isn't he."   
"Yes but i want you and mom there too."   
"We'd love to be there." Bernie said as she stood at the bathroom door.   
"You would"   
"Of course we would." Serena said. "We wouldn't miss it for the world. 

"Bloody hell look at the size of some of these women mum." Kate said as they sat in the hospital.   
"Kate keep your voice down. Serena smiled."   
"I won't get a big as that will I."   
"You will be as big as that." "And you will still be absolutely beautiful." Matt said as she put his hand on Kate stomach and gave her a kiss. Serena and Bernie looked at each other and smiled.   
"Kate Wolfe" The nurse said.   
"Yes that's me. Can my mums come in too."  
"Of course."   
"Thank you."   
"Would you like to get yourself comfortable on the bed for me please and life up your top."  
"Yes sure."   
"How have you been?"   
"Sick sick and more sick."   
"Bless you. But apart from that."   
"Fine."   
"Good am just going to put this gel on your stomach now and then we can see your baby."   
"Are you alright." Bernie whispered as she took Serena's hand.   
"Yeah am fine."   
"There you go there's your baby." The nurse said as she turned the screen around.   
"That's our baby Kate." Matt said as she took her hand and kissed her.   
"It is. Hello little one." Kate said. "Does everything look alright.   
"Everything looks absolutely fine."  
"Thank God. Mum are you alright." Kate said as she looked at Serena who had tears running down her cheeks.   
"Am fine my darling. That's our grandchild." Serena said as she took Katie's other hand. "I'm sorry I told you to get rid of it. Am so glad you didn't listen to me." she cried.   
"It's OK mum it's all forgotten now."   
"I love you sweetheart and I love you." Serena said as she traced the baby on the screen with her finger.   
"And we love you mum so much."   
"Are you wanting a picture."   
"Yes loads."   
"How manys loads."   
"About 8."  
"Ok I will get them printed off while you get yourself sorted."   
The nurse said as she left the room.   
"I'll come with you and pay for them." Bernie said.   
"I'll do that for you." Matt said as he wiped the gel off Kate stomach gently.   
"Thank you."   
"I love you Kate."   
"I love you too."   
"Here sweetheart the pictures."  
"Thanks mom."   
"Here you go there is yours and mum's."   
"Thank you darling."   
"Right come on let's go get some lunch. I don't know about you 3 but I am famished." Bernie said.   
"What's new there. Now I know where Emily gets it from." Serena laughed as they held hands and walked out of the hospital.


	43. Happy birthday Alfie

2 weeks later. 

"Morning mum." Kate said as Serena walked into the kitchen. Kate could tell Serena had been crying because her eyes were all red and puffy.  
"Mum are you alright."  
"Fine just making myself a coffee."  
"I'll do it." Matt said.  
"I am quite capable of making myself a cup of coffee." Serena snapped.  
"Mum."  
"Leave it Kate." Matt said as Serena walked out the kitchen  
"No Matt she has been in a foul mood for the last 3 days now. She seems to be going bloody backwards to forwards."  
"What day is it today Kate." Bernie said as she walked into the kitchen.  
"27 of Alfie's birthday shit I forgot."  
"Well mum hasn't. Mum's don't forget their children's birthdays Kate. You will realise that when yours comes along."  
"I'll go see if she's alright."  
"I'll go you finish your breakfast." Bernie said as she walked into the lounge and sat down beside. "Come here."She said.  
"I'm OK. I just."  
"I know me too." Bernie said as she put her arm around Serena.  
"He would have been 16 today. He should be having fun with his mates and his family. He should be here with us Bernie." Serena cried.  
"I know he should.  
"Mummy are you sad because it's Alfie's birthday." Emily said as she came in the lounge and gave Serena a hug.  
"Yes darling I am."  
"Do you think we should pack some sandwiches up and go to the cemetery. Then we can have a little party there for Alfie."  
"Oh baby I think that's a lovely idea." Serena said a she hugged Emily again.  
"Why don't me and you go get everything ready while mummy goes and gets dressed."  
"OK momma I will go and tell Kate."  
"OK. Do you think this is such a good idea Serena."  
"I think it's a very good idea. We can all be there together as a family. I think it would be nice."  
"OK then that's what we will do. I better go help. Emily before she trashes the kitchen."  
"OK and I will go and get dressed." 

"Happy birthday Alfie." Emily said as they got the grave. "I hope grandad Campbell is looking after you."  
"Am sure he is darling." Bernie said as she squeezed Serena's hand.  
"We have fetched some goodies Alfie so we can have a party with you haven't we mummy."  
"We have baby. And it was all Emily idea Alfie." Serena said as she bent down beside the headstone. "I hope you are having a good time up there my angel. I miss you so much Alfie we all do." Serena cried.  
"Kate is having a baby Alfie." Emily said as she out her hand on Katie's stomach.  
"You would have been a great uncle our baby mate."  
"I can't do this I can't." Serena cries as walked off. "  
"I'll go you guys stay here." Bernie said. SERENA WAIT. "  
"It's not fair Bernie why did he have to leave us. I want him back I want my son back." Serena sobbed.  
"I know you do we all do sweetheart." Bernie cried as she held Serena close.  
"I hate Faith for what she has put us through. If I could get my hands on her I would kill her myself."  
"You and me both. Let's go back over and be with our family."  
"OK am sorry."  
"Don't be sorry. Come on." 

"I think we all should say our favourite memories of Alfie if that's alright." Kate said.  
"I think that's a lovely idea. You go first then Kate."  
"OK erm my favourite memory of Alfie is of when he was first born. Remember mum when you first told me you were having another baby. I was jealous because I thought you were swapping me another kid."  
"I did I had to tell you that you would still be my little my girl."  
"And then when mom took me to the hospital to see you and Alfie when he was born. I saw him asleep in your arms and he just looked so small. I knew right there and then that I would always be there for him." Kate said as she choked back her tears.  
"And you always were darling."  
"I remember when I first started going out with Kate and Alfie warned me that I must not ever hurt her. His words were I might be short but I will hit you if you ever hurt my sister."  
"I just loved every minute I spent with Alfie. He was the best brother ever." Emily said as snuggled into Serena's side.  
"Alfie's first day at school was interesting. It took me ages to prize his legs from round your mums waist. He really didn't want to go. And then when we took him into his class he screamed blue murder when mum had to leave him."  
"He always was a mummy's boy wasn't he." Kate said.  
"He was. I remember the first time the nurse put him in my arms. He was so beautiful. He held onto my finger with his little hands. I was so tired but so happy. I remember looking down at him and thinking one day you might be a father and have a baby of your own." Serena cried.  
"You alright darling."  
"Yeah am fine."  
"Let's have a toast to Alfie."  
"To Alfie."  
"Happy birthday my darling boy."


	44. You need to do this

"Are you alright." Bernie said as she got into bed and saw Serena just staring at the ceiling.   
"Yes am fine. It was nice today all the family together remembering Alfie."   
"Yes it was."   
"Do you think he could see us Bernie."   
"I'd like to think he did. I miss him so much Serena." Bernie cried.   
"Come here."Serena said as she pulled Bernie close and held her tight." You need to do this Bernie you haven't grieved properly for him. Let it all out."  
"I'm sorry."   
"What for. You have been so strong for me and the girls but you can't do it forever. I have been waiting for this. You can't be strong all the time sweetheart." Serena said as she kissed Bernie on the head.   
"I thought I was doing do well. Only breaking down when I was on my own. But today all of us talking about our memories of him. It brought it all back. How funny and smart he was. And how much he loved his family."   
"And we all loved him. An always will."  
"He'll always be our little boy won't he Serena."   
"He will always. Please don't keep it to herself anymore. You told me to talk to you. When I felt it was getting too much. Well I want you to talk to me OK."   
"OK."   
"I love you Bernie."   
"I love you too. Let's just do it."   
"Do what."   
"Get married again. Let's just book it. I can't wait to marry you."   
"And I can't wait to be your wife again."   
"We'll tell the kids in the morning yes."   
"Yes."   
"Serena."   
"Mmm."   
"Can I sleep in your arms tonight please."   
"God you think you have to ask."Serena said as she brought Bernie even closer to her." You and kids are my world. I don't know what I would do without you."  
"Your never going to have to find out. I will spend the rest of my life loving you."   
"And me you. Goodnight my gorgeous girl."   
"Goodnight beautiful." 

"Morning. How are you." Serena said as she came into the kitchen the next morning.   
Morning mum. Well I haven't been sick yet touch wood."  
"Kate I know I wasn't very nice to you when you told us about the baby. But I am so proud of you."   
"I'm proud of you mum."   
"Why I haven't done anything."   
"Yes you have. You've been coping really well since mum brought you home."  
"Thank you darling." Serena said as she reached across the table and held Kate's hand. "Wait for it mummy I'm hungry." Serena laughed.   
"Hi mummy."   
"Morning beautiful."   
"What's for breakfast I'm hungry."   
"See psychic." Serena smiled at Kate. "What do you want baby."  
"Bacon sandwich."   
"If what."   
"Please."   
"Good girl."  
"I'll make it." Bernie said as she walked in the kitchen.   
"No you won't you sit down. Bacon sandwiches all round."  
"Please mum Matt will be down in a minute." 

"So now we have got all of you together. I thinks it's about time we told you."   
"Told us what mum."   
"It's nothing bad Kate don't look so nervous darling."Serena said as she took hold of Bernie’s hand.  
"When we were in Blackpool me and mum decided we wanted to get married again."   
"You did."   
"We did. And we talked about it last night and we want to do it sooner rather than later."   
"How soon."   
"I'm going to call the registry office first thing in the morning."   
"Call them today momma."   
"There shut darling it's Sunday."   
"Oh yes."   
"Matt I was hoping you would be my best man." Bernie said.   
"Really."   
"Yes really."   
"I would be honoured to Bernie thank you."   
"But who's going to walk you down the aisle Mummy."   
"I want Kate and you to both walk me down the aisle. Me and my two beautiful girls together. What do you say."   
"We'd love to mum. Wouldn't we Emily."   
"Yes. Can I have a pretty dress please mummy."   
"I don't see why not."   
"I'll tell you what why don't we go shopping and look and some outfits today. Then we can all go somewhere nice for dinner." Bernie said.   
"That sounds good."   
"We better go get dressed then. Come on Emily." Kate said.   
"Am coming hold on." Emily said as she kissed Bernie and Serena.   
"They seem happy with it." Bernie said as she put her arm around Serena.   
"I knew they would be. I can't wait to be your wife again." Serena smiled as she kissed Bernie lovingly and out her head on her shoulder.   
"I can't wait to be your wife either. And for you to be mine"  
"This time it's going to be forever."  
"It sure it. I never want to be apart from you."   
"We won't be. We are going to spend the rest of our lives together."


	45. I can't do this mum

4 months later. 

Is there really any need for this. It's not like this is the first time we have been married."Bernie said as she packed her bags to stay overnight in a hotel.   
"The kids said they don't care. It's tradition. You can't see me while tomorrow."   
"I'll miss you." Bernie said as she put her arms around Serena's waist.   
"I'll miss you. Ring me won't you."   
"You try and stop me. I can't wait to see you tomorrow. I just know you are going to look stunning again. Just like the first time I married you."  
"Stunning for you."  
"Mom Matt's waiting for you in the car hurry up." Kate said.   
"Alright i'm going, I'm going. See you tomorrow Mrs Wolfe."   
"I can't wait. I love you."  
"And I love you." Bernie said as she kissed Serana.   
"Mom, put mum down and go will you. We have got things to do."   
"Alright bye."   
"Bye."   
"Blimey I thought she would never go. Oww."   
"Are you alright."   
"Yes just a bit of cramp that's all."   
"Blimey Kate don't do that to me."   
"Right let's have a mess about with your makeup shall we sit down madam."   
"I want to do mummy's makeup." Emily said as she walked into the bedroom.   
"Emily,'' I love you dearly but I don't want to get married looking like Coco The Clown." Serana laughed.   
"Can I pick a nice lipstick for you then mummy."   
"Go on then."   
"Yes."

"SERENA. SERENA WAKE UP." Matt shouted as she knocked on her bedroom door.   
"Hang on hang on. What's up."   
"It's Kate her waters have just broken."   
"Oh shit."Serena ran into Katie's bedroom."It's alright darling am here. Have you rang an Ambulance Matt."   
"On its way."   
"Mum it's hurts so much."   
"I know it does sweetheart but it will all be worth it when you hold that little baby in your arms."  
"Stay with mum. Don't leave me will you."   
"I'm not going anywhere my darling. Matt ring Bernie up and tell her to meet us at the hospital OK."   
"OK."   
"I'm sorry mum."   
"What are you sorry for."  
"Going into labour now. You are supposed to be getting married today."   
"Don't you worry about that. You just concentrate on your breathing. Nice deep breaths alright."  
"I'm scared mum. I don't know how you did this 3 times."   
"You were worth all the pain. All 3 of you."   
"I hope I will be a good mum like you and mom."   
"You will be my darling. And Matt will be great daddy."   
"Bernie is going to meet us there. That will be the ambulance now."   
"I feel a bit sick."  
"Here use this." Serena said as she passed Kate the little bin.   
"Hello what's your name." The ambulance man said. "  
"Kate."   
"How far are you Kate."   
"8 months."   
"Matt do me favour stay with her a minute while I go get Emily up alright."   
"Alright."   
"Are you OK."   
"I think so."   
"Good man." 

"Momma Kate is having her baby."   
"I know come and sit here with me."   
"Can't we go in there."   
"No only 2 people can be there while she is giving birth."   
"Oh mum I can't do this."  
"Yes you can. You are the one of the strongest people I know. Look at what you have gone through in the past year. You can do this darling."   
"One more push Kate and the head will out."   
"Come on Kate. Our baby is nearly here." Matt cried as she held her hand.   
"Well done that's the head out.   
"Kate I can see our baby's head."   
"You are doing so well beautiful. A few more pushes you can do this."   
"Arrgh."   
"Come on sweetie you can do this your nearly there."   
"Arrgh."   
"Hello little one." The nurse said.   
"Well done I'm so proud of you."   
"What have we got."   
"Matt do you want to come and cut the cord and tell Kate what you've got."  
"Yes please."  
"We've got a son Kate."   
"I want to see him." The nurse placed him on Katie's chest.   
"Hello beautiful."   
"I love you so much Kate."Matt cried.   
"I love you too."   
"He is so beautiful Kate. You did so well. Can Bernie and Emily come in now please."   
"Yes."   
"I'll go get them."   
"Serena what's happening."  
"We've got a grandson Bernie."   
"We have."   
"Yes and he is so gorgeous."   
"Can we come in now mummy."   
"Yes come on love."   
"Hi mom."   
"Congratulations you two. Hello little man. We're your grandma's. And we're going to spoil you rotten."   
"No your not." Kate laughed.   
"Oh yes we are." Serana said as she kissed Kate on the cheek. "I love you'' and I love you little man."   
"Kate what are you going to name him." Emily said.   
"That's easy. Say hello to George Alfie Harrison."   
"Alfie." Serena cried.   
"Yes we have said that right from the start."   
"Thank you." Serena whispered in Kate's ear. "Well leave you and Matt alone for a while OK."   
"You don't have to."   
We do. Besides I could murder a coffee."  
"Will you bring us one back please."  
"Of course we will. Emily come on let's leave em to it." 

"You alright." Bernie said as they sat in the cafe.   
"Yes am just tired that's all."   
"We should be getting married in 2 hours."   
"I don't think that's going to happen now is it."   
"Stay there I won't be long."   
"Where you going."  
"You'll see soon."   
"Where's momma going.   
"I don't know." 

"Right come on you." Bernie said as she walked into the room.   
"Why where are we going."   
"I have had a word with the Chaplin here and she has agreed to marry us in the Chapel."  
"Bernie I am in my pajamas."   
"Not for long you won't be. Here I think this are your outfits . I haven't looked at yours don't worry. Get ready and I will meet you in the Chapel in 30 minutes alright."   
"Alright." 

"Is your mum ready." Bernie said as Kate, Matt and the baby came into the Chapel.   
"Yes she's waiting outside with Emily."   
"Are you ready." Lexi said.   
"Yes i'm ready."   
Lexi pressed play on the CD player and Perfect by Ed Sheeran rang out. As Serena walked down the aisle holding hands with Emily. Bernie couldn't take the smile off her face when she saw how beautiful Serena looked.   
"Hello you." Serena said as she stood beside Bernie.   
"Wow I am one lucky woman. You are stunning."   
"So are you."   
"We have got everyone we love in this one room. Our children and our grandson. And Alfie will be up there watching us"   
"I know he will be."   
"I'm going to love you forever."   
"Me too always have always will."


End file.
